Glad You Came
by myboygeorge
Summary: Follow Alexis and Shane on their first year of parenting baby Petra! 1st ch begins the same night as the final chapter of Generation Next. Rated M for the usual reasons - language and love scenes
1. A Little Night Snack: 10 Days

**_tayababy, you should recognize the convo centrepiece in this one :)_**

* * *

It had been a fantastic night of nothing but love for the newest parents of the Twelfth Precinct family - food and blessings, tears of joy and laughter, and of course so much love for the brand new Petra Jasmine Adi Weaver that Alexis had to wonder if she was going to simply keel over from an overdose of cute.

'I couldn't have asked for a better night,' she told Shane as he unlocked the door to their apartment; immediately the scents of baby hit them - milk and powder and Johnson's Baby Bubbles. 'Is that how a lot of those things go?'

'Usually,' he replied, setting down the baby bag on the armchair in the living room before taking the baby carrier and setting it on the kitchen table to unbuckle the girl of the night. He tugged off her little coat before lifting Petra out to cuddle her close. 'Who's Papa's little princess? You are, yes you are.'

Petra creaked as she snuggled sleepily against her father's chest as they headed for the living room where Shane carefully sat down with his little girl. God what a treasure she was; he got it now, that cliche phrase that his friends with kids had always told him - it was different with his own child. Breathing deep he inhaled the scent of her - milk and powder and...perfection, he thought on a little laugh.

'You getting tired, my little gem?' Shane looked down at Petra when he felt her little jaw press against his shirt. One glance told him she was indeed tuckered out; not caring one bit he'd just sat down he rose and headed for the nursery off the living room. He moved towards the crib, then felt Petra cling to him, as if in pint-sized protest. 'Oh, not bedtime yet? How about we read a story then?'

Changing course, Shane went to the overstuffed armchair with a quick stop at the book-shelf for one of the many picture-books given to Petra by her myriad of admirers. 'How about _The Snail and the Whale?_ That one was from Nate because he is the littlest one of your friends. Well Zane is smaller but he is only a little bigger than you so we're sticking with what I said about Nate. Let's start, shall we?'

They made it nearly entirely through the book before Petra began to splutter for her supper, which had Alexis appearing in the doorway. 'Our little princess is hungry, huh?' she asked.

'Yep, she sure is,' Shane agreed.

Alexis crossed to them, retrieving her nursing pillow on the way, and settled herself in the rocking chair to wait for Shane to pass the baby to her. She'd already changed from party clothes into her pyjamas, which had Petra turning towards her breast and nuzzling her already. 'Okay, okay easy there little tiger,' she laughed, adjusting her tank top before Petra latched on and began to feed. It was such a funny little feeling, the tiny little tongue poking at her before she started eating but she was used to it now which had her minded wandering a little.

She felt the press of the pillow against her belly, the tape there holding the gauze over her stitches. She was due to get them out soon, which was somehow the scariest thing on her mind right now. What if she had to gas really badly and the effort from her intestines pushed against her stitches, making them split and having her insides be on the outside? Seriously, that could happen; when she'd been in medical school, she'd seen a woman with anorexia sneeze too hard and dislocate her rib from the effort. It would be perfectly easy to split some tiny little threads from her bowels doing their natural thing, wouldn't it? Nothing at all illogical about that fear.

'Lex?'

'Huh?'

'Here.' Shane grinned, passed her the Icy-Tumbler full of water with slices of lemon. 'You have to drink lots while you breastfeed.'

'Oh, thanks.' Alexis took a short pull from the straw, made an 'mmm' noise, then set the cup on the side-table. 'When am I supposed to see Bishop to get my stitches out?'

'Not for another few days, right before the Princeton homecoming game.' Shane couldn't wait for that one, to see his little girl in her orange and black stripes. 'She is gonna look so cute, but that's not the root of your question.'

'I've got gass-o-phobia.'

'You...huh?'

Alexis laughed a little, brushed her hand gently over Petra's little head; she'd finally learned to close her eyes while eating. 'I'm scared to fart, I'm- what if I push too hard on the toilet and my stitches rip open?'

'You wouldn't have been let out of the hospital if they'd thought you'd have any issues.'

'But-'

'Alexis, finish feeding the baby then go potty,' Shane told her in the same tone he'd use on Jojo. He expected nothing less when her response was to stick her tongue out at him which only served to make his grin widen. 'Seriously. You're a doctor.'

'A psychiatrist, I specialize in feelings,' she reminded him. 'You are a pathologist, it's your job to take out the insides of the dead and examine them. Neither of us is an OBGYN.'

'Exactly, and I bet if you called Bishop up he'd use that same patient tone like when you asked him about whether or not unrefrigerated butter was okay to have on your sandwiches during the summer.'

'Bugger.' Alexis looked down at Petra, who was ready to switch sides. 'Seriously, doesn't Papa have a snack to make for Mumum? Like some chicken salad on toast with chips and fruit? And making sure you have your late-night bottle ready in the fridge?'

'Petra, tell your mumum she is a clever girl for phrasing it just like that,' Shane replied; he brushed lips over Alexis first, then Petra, and wandered off to keep both his girls happy snackers.


	2. Demon Chasing

Alexis awoke with a start, her heart pounding as she tried not to let the scream strangled in her throat loosen itself. She'd escaped the clutches of an unknown nightmare, and her eyes wheeled around the bedroom to make sure that she was indeed at home in Grammercy Park with Shane asleep beside her. Slumping back against the pillows, she turned on her side to brush her hand over his shoulder in self-reassurance that everything was just fine.

Stupid hormones and medication, she thought miserably. She could still feel the dregs of the hospital dope in her system making her head all weird. Fortunately for her, Alexis knew it was temporary and that more than likely all those beautiful, strong, seemingly perfect and unconquerable women in her life who were mothers had gone through this scared-shitless feeling too.

Unable to get back to sleep just yet, and as it was close to Petra's late-night feeding anyways, Alexis rose and went into the kitchen to make tea. Maybe it had been her time living in England that made tea always feel like the logical answer to soothing her restless nerves. As the water boiled, she went to the living room, looked out the window. She loved this apartment, so much; it was the same apartment Shane had been in when they'd first begun dating. Laughing a little Alexis went to the couch, remembering how she sat there so nervous the first time she'd gone home with him. Now she was nervous for entirely different reasons.

It was easy to be confident when she was around everyone telling her that she was doing a great job, but later on, when she had these quiet moments to herself, it was impossible to ignore those nasty little voices in her head. Part of her knew it was just the hormones playing on her insecurities as a new mom, but holy hell all she could think of right now was the crushing responsibility of it.

Petra would look to her first and foremost to be the strong female example in her life. That was a huge order to fill, and what happened when Alexis herself had a bad day, or she had her period back and her hormones were making her snappy? What if she made her child cry because she'd yelled at her? What if she screwed up her child so much she needed therapy where Alexis would be blamed for every single little thing that had gone wrong in her life? What if things ended up like they did with Lanie and her mother, who didn't so much as send an email once a year, nevermind engage in the fun family things her family was used to?

God, she needed to breathe, Alexis thought with a glance towards her keys in the dish by the door; maybe a quick walk down the street to the twenty-four-seven cafe would help clear her mind of all these horrible demons. Perhaps it ha been all those questions running through her mind when she'd been asleep that had caused her to wake up with her heart feeling like it would pound clean out of her chest.

The whistling of the teakettle brought her out of the morass of her mind; while she went through the motions of making tea Alexis thought of the day ahead of her. Quality time with Shane and Petra and getting things done around the house. They'd only been home from the hospital a week and there was still the catch-up from that which needed to be done - laundry, the groceries, maybe a little dusting. She didn't want to vacuum in case Petra was concerned by the noise; Alexis laughed as she remembered the stories from Meredeth how Tessi could sleep through a rainstorm with Artie standing guard at the window and growling like a dump-truck at the thunder while a sneeze from the beloved dog was enough to have the twins wake into fretful whimpers.

Alexis took her tea to the living room, pulled her iPod from her pocket. It was almost two am, which meant Petra would be waking soon for her feeding so rather than going back to bed, Alexis opened her _Ledger_ crossword app to work on the Sunday puzzle from a few days ago. She'd managed to complete seven more clues before she heard Petra stir in her crib, which had Alexis getting to her feet straight away.

'Hello my little rock-star,' she cooed quietly, felt her heart rush full with love when Petra's dark blue eyes tracked her voice, her little arms wiggling about. 'Hey, you're hungry, I bet aren't you? Yeah, you are.'

'Lex?'

Alexis glanced over her shoulder, saw Shane there. 'Hey, it's okay, I'm just going to feed her. Go back to bed.'

'Nice try, my sweet little strawberry. I saw the water's already boiled for her bottle so it's currently warming up. You need some sleep before you're on breakfast shift.'

Shane came over, wrapped his arms around her. He could sense the tension; They'd been together long enough for him to know when he needed to back off, as much as it might contradict every instinct he had about his wife.

Despite the slight gnaw in his belly, when she turned to him with a lightly teasing smile Shane knew it was indeed the right call. 'You're really determined to stick with this whole, one for me one for you thing aren't you?'

'I'm used to having screw body time since I work shift work, but while I'm home I am here to be a co-parent and life partner. Being good at it means the responsibilities are fifty-fifty. Now, are we gonna stand around and debate who is the more committed new parent or you gonna make up a few more bottles so that Petra and I can nosh together later?'

'Well when you put it that way,' she laughed, and gave him a sweet kiss. 'Thanks.'

'For what?'

'You know what.'


	3. Visit With Bishop

'Who's Mumum's little gem? You are!'

Alexis leaned forward, cooing at Petra as she burbled happily while lying on her back on the wall-length counter-top in the nursery. 'It's a big day today, isn't it? Yes it is, it's Mumum's and Petra's first check-ins with the doctors today.'

Petra must have sensed her mother's apprehension about the visit, for she began to crumple her face up though that could have simply been the cold of the Vaseline Alexis was delicately smearing over her bottom to prevent diaper irritation.

'Oh, sweetie, it's okay, nothing bad will happen, that's why we go to the doctors to make sure we are strong and healthy. And guess what, we are going to see Auntie Jojo and Uncle RJ, and Omi and Daddy tonight for supper.'

Once she'd fasten the snaps of her onsie Alexis picked up her little girl and held her close while murmuring gently; the baby's pitiful whimpers were soothed and she flexed and clutched her long fingers against Alexis' shoulder.

'There, there my little gem,' she murmured softly, 'Mumum's here, it's okay, you're just fine aren't you? Yeah, nothing to be scared of. We're going to go find Papa, he's got your coat ready and everything.'

With the little one pacified, Alexis took Petra into the kitchen to find her other baby was now having a bit of a meltdown - Shane was on the phone with someone and clearly trying to fight to stay in control.

'Because it's not appropriate, and it will probably overwhelm her and scare her enough. No, I'm not trying to be a meanie, I'm just saying- yes I know she's the best ever. Yes it is for our family and- hang on.'

'Problem?' Alexis asked and Shane put his cell on hold.

'Jojo wants to stay home from school today to come with us to the doctors.'

'Let me talk to her.'

Shane handed over the phone, glad to let one stubborn redhead in his life talk to another. 'She's all yours, babe. Come here, Petra.'

Alexis waited until Shane had the baby in his arms to put on her adorable little fall pea-coat before giving her attention to her sister. 'Jojo, you have to go to school,' she began without any preamble.

'But I have to be there for Petra in case she cries!'

'Jojo, she is just being examined to make sure she's okay after the C-section I had to have. If anything you should be worried about me, since I'm getting my stitches out today.'

'Well now I have to go!' Jojo's voice rose shrilly, much in the same way that Martha's did when she was feeling slighted. 'You're important too, what if-'

'Jojo, my little bumblebee, here's the deal. It's Petra's first visit to the doctor and she's feeling scared already. I bet that if you made her a card at arts and crafts time, that would make her smile.'

'Really? Gee, I better get my stuff ready for the bus, then!' Suddenly charged with this responsibility, Jojo brightened like a sun after a cloudy day. 'Sorry and love you!'

'Love you too.' Alexis hung up the phone, turned to Shane. 'Done.'

'So that's what it looks like to have a mother who's also a shrink,' Shane replied with a smile as he tickled Petra's tummy. When she made happy noises before dozing off in her stroller, he gave a satisfied nod. 'Okay, all my redheads are happy, now off to the doctor.'

* * *

As Bishop kept earlier hours than Cook, Alexis had her turn first; she lay on the paper-covered padded table in the exam room, head turned so she could see Shane and Petra having story time.

'What are we reading today, Papa?' she asked, glad for the distraction to keep her mind off her stitches.

'We are reading one of the _Ocean of Friends_ books, this one is about meeting Mickey Mako and how he seems very scary because he's always smiling with his mouthful of teeth and it frightens other fish away.'

'Ohhh, I see. I bet that one came from Nessa or Heddie or Tessi.'

'Heddie. She is so excited, she gets to go on her first scuba-trip soon and she wants Petra to learn about the ocean.'

'Nice. Hey doc.'

The door had opened and Alexis was smiling as seh saw Bishop come in, his pewter hair slightly tousled which told her the stern-faced doctor had just come from the hospital. 'Good morning, Weaver family. How are we doing today?'

'Itchy,' Alexis replied, smiling when Bishop lifted her exam gown to look at her healing incision. 'That means the stitches are ready to come out, right?'

'Let's have a look.'

With a gentle dexterity that was contradictory of his expression, Bishop carefully removed the medical gauze over Alexis' lower belly, gave it a pursed-lips stare. 'You're right, they are ready to be removed.'

He moved to the cabinet, produced a hermetically-sealed packet of suture scissors; Alexis closed her eyes, and tried to focus on the sound of Shane's voice talking to Petra rather than the tugging she felt on her abdomen.

'See, Mumum's all better now so it's time to get her stitches out. It doesn't hurt but it looks scary. Much different than what Papa does with his patients, yeah.'

'There we are.' Bishop deposited the snipped threads into a metal dish along with the scissors. 'Alright, Mama Doctor Weaver is all set, now it's Baby Weaver's turn with Doctor Cook.'

Alexis gave him a grateful smile, then felt her insides freeze when she heard Shane sniffle. 'Shane, what is it?'

'I..I suddenly have new understanding for my mom getting upset when I got my cast off my arm when I was fourteen.' He shook his head to clear it a little. 'Don't be surprised when Petra gets her boosters if I'm crying more than her.'


	4. Papa and Petra's Day Out: 2 Weeks 3 Days

'You put the pacifier in here? And the wipes in case she gurgles up?'

'Yes Papa.'

'What about the-'

Alexis laughed as she finished buckling Petra into her carrier. 'Is Papa nervous? I think he is,' she told their little girl in a high-pitched squeaky voice. 'I think he's a little nervous about his first ever papa-daughter day out without Mumum, isn't he? Yeah, he is.'

'Nice, my girls are already ganging up on me,' Shane groused playfully, even though they both knew she was right - Shane could tell that Alexis needed a day just to have a little time to herself to catch up on some sleep and make sure her whole world didn't become nothing but mommy now that their baby was here. And, okay, he really wanted the one on one time with his little girl; was that such a crime? No, especially when the activity he had in mind would be one that was both practical and a good bonding moment.

With Petra fastened into the carrier, he shouldered the baby bag and softly nudged Alexis to the side. 'So what do you have planned while your two favourite people are out on the town?'

'Oh it will be Mumums Gone Wild here, I'm having a nice hot bath, express some milk from bottles, and then I'm parking myself right there -' Alexis pointed to the sofa '-and doing my nails while I catch up on _Dallas Lieutenant Eve_.'

'Look out scout, she's a crazy one.' Shane leaned over, gave his wife a kiss. 'I promise I'll make Petra behave. The way you ate while you were pregnant she is probably gonna demand chicken salad and pitas and poutine for her first brithday party.'

'Give me a kiss little one.' Alexis leaned over, gave her daughter a kiss on her forehead, was met with a happy little coo before the baby wound up for a monster sneeze. 'Oh, sweetie, that was a big noise for a little lady!'

'Alright, off we go. We'll bring you back a treat.'

* * *

'Okay we got Mumum's veggies and fruit, and now we need to pick out our fish for supper tonight.'

'Blb.'

Shane grinned at Petra in her carrier atop the grocery cart as they headed for the seafood counter. He'd been a little apprehensive as any new dad would be taking the baby out on his own for the first time, but once he'd settled Petra's carrier onto the cart, it was far less nerve wracking than he imagined. The noise of the store didn't bother Petra either, it appear she was having fun. But that could have also been the way that Shane was talking to her about everything that he picked out from celery to blackberries.

He stopped the cart in front of the fish counter, turned to see the specials and was in the middle of decided on the halibut or haddock filets when he heard a noise of approaching feet behind him, the kind that were targeting him specifically. Instantly he turned around, ready to protect his daughter from any danger, then grinned when he saw Lanie and Finn with a mini-cart.

'Hey guys,' he said brightly, saw the makings of a day of baking in their cart. 'What's happening?'

'We are getting ready for a bake-sale at school to raise money for Terry Fox. Daddy says he was a brave Canadian boy who raced on one leg to fight cancer and now we raise money with yumminess to help keep his dream going!' Finn replied, stretching to his tip-toes to see the baby. 'Hi Petra! Are you helping your papa with the groceries? That's a big job already!'

'How is everything going Shane?' Lanie smiled sweetly, wondering if Shane knew just how much he beamed these days. 'I know it can feel a little bit like a tornado after you are done at the hospital and then there are all the get togethers to see the baby.'

'So far so good, we've been switching off the late nights so at least one of us can always get a solid sleep. It's been helping Alexis handle her hormones a lot better.'

'Yeah, she was pretty bouncy when she was pregnant?'

'Very,' Shane agreed, then saw Finn jumping up and down trying to see Petra. He boosted the boy to his hip so he could get a good look. 'There she is, almost ready for a nap.'

'Man, she is so little,' Finn breathed, saw her yawn. 'And sleepy too.'

Can I help you sir?' The counter attendant looked at him, and Shane turned to Finn; the boy was a major fan of fish and knew he'd be a trusted little-person opinion.

'What should we get for making fish and chips tonight? Halibut or haddock?'

'Umm, holly-butt, because that stuff is fancier and if you are making homemade fish and chips, you should make it as fancy as you can,' Finn reasoned.

'I'll take four fillets of the halibut,' Shane told the attendant before letting Finn slip back to his feet. When his order was wrapped, he put it in the basket and gave Finn a wink. 'I'll be sure to tell you at Canadian Thanksgiving how Alexis liked it.'

'Okay! Tell her too about the bake sale, maybe she can tell RJ and Jojo to come to our school to try some of our treats!'

'RJ and baking is a winning combo, he'll wanna help you cook.'

'Ooo, can he, Mama?' Finn turned to Lanie, brown eyes shining. 'Please? Carey and Violet got to have friends over to our house last weekend.'

'I'll have to ask RJ and Jojo's mama, not their brother-in-law,' Lanie laughed, then tugged his hand. 'Let's let Shane and Petra finish their shopping, we've got our own supplies to find.'

'Okay. Bye Shane, bye Petra!'

Shane waved bye-bye to them, then looked at his little girl. 'I don't know about you but I think I'm okay with just you for the next few months.'


	5. Canadian Thanksgiving I: 3 Weeks, 1 Day

It was the Friday afternoon of Columbus Day weekend; after the joining of the American by birth-Canadian at heart Dave to their family, they'd begun to observe the holiday as their own Thanksgiving since the majority of the cops ended up being needed for the holiday shifts. Plus, as both Alexis and Shane had separately learned, it was a good way to ensure that the request for four whole days of Christmas vacation would be met with a positive answer.

This year, there would be a new addition to the festivities other than the newborn Petra - as they were in the process of transitioning their lives from the Netherlands and Israel, Chaim and Shir had decided to tag along as part of their trip to Manhattan.

'I still can't believe your dad is selling the business, Shane,' Alexis said as she packed fresh diapers into Petra's overnight bag and Shane finished dressing Petra into her party dress, complete with little white stockings. 'It's been in the Weaver family for like what five generations?'

'Six, but my dad has been training his brother's grandson as his apprentice for like three years now and Markus handles most of the business as it is now.'

At this Alexis snickered. 'Your cousin's name is Markus Muyskins?'

'No, it's Booerman, and nice job remembering my family's original Dutch name. Looks like that pregnancy brain is finally worn off, huh?'

'Looks like. Oh, Petra, you are so cute my little gem!'

Shane grinned with pride - he'd picked out a pretty russet coloured dress that nearly matched Petra's dark red hair; it was decorated with thin white outlines of fall leaves which gave the dress an almost kimono feel. He'd left her little head clear of any hair-bands as he'd always thought those things looked absolutely ridiculously out of place on newborns and his little girl was the most styling baby of them all.

'She says, Mumum, I'm so pretty just like you and we're gonna have fun this weekend!' Shane chirped in a falsetto that made Alexis laugh more. 'Just make sure I can have some of RJ's cookies before he gives them all to Trini, okay?'

'I'll make sure he saves you one.' Alexis kissed Petra's cheek, glanced at her watch. 'What time are Chaim and Shir arriving?'

'Any moment now. Do you have our suitcase?'

'Yep. Funny how we only need one and the smallest of us all needs two.'

'It's a girl thing.' Alexis shouldered the replenished baby bag, gave it a loving little pat. 'This is Petra's purse.'

'Oh clever girl.'

The intercom buzzed then, and Shane took Petra with him to answer it. 'Who is that coming to visit us, baby girl?' he murmured to her before pressing the button. 'Hello.'

'Scheine, it's us!'

'Come on up.'

A few moments later there was the knock on the door and when Shane opened it, he was met with the wall of noise only Chaim and Shir could produce.

'Ahh, there she is, my little apple dumpling!' Shir crowed, holding out her arms to scoop up Petra. 'Oh, my little darling, you are so sweet, yes you are, and you and Bubbe are going to have so much fun!'

'Don't forget Opa either,' Chaim added, his blue eyes twinkling merrily as he hugged his son. 'She is beautiful Scheine, another _shani_ for you to love. Where is the original one?'

'Getting our suitcase from the bedroom.'

'Peh, you let me take the valise when it's time to go.' Chaim drew his pocket-watch from the slit pocket in his trousers. 'When it is we are supposed to be at the house in Hampton?'

'Around one,' Alexis replied, appearing with the luggage on wheels in tow. 'We're going early to help get the food ready and so Petra can have a little nap before the party gets underway.'

'She's such a good baby. Here, _shani_ I'll take that.'

'Oh thanks, Chaim.' Alexis gladly relented when Chaim came over to help her with the luggage. 'Are you excited for Canadian Thanksgiving?'

'Any time there is food and family and wine, I'm happy. What kinds of delicious treats do we get to try?'

'Plenty of time to talk about that on the drive up, Chaim,' Shir reminded him, giving him a sharp look. 'We need to get on the road.'

'What? Oh, yes of course. Going on the road,' he echoed, which had Alexis arching an eyebrow. It was unusual for them to speak like that to each other; she wondered what kind of tricks they had up their sleeves. 'Shiri, you take the baby bag and the pram. Alexis you take the baby, Scheine you get the doors.'

Shane was tempted to say _Jawohl_ to his father but he knew he'd get that look once more from his mother so he did as he was told and made sure the doors were open while Alexis and Shir marched ahead of him downstairs to the sidewalk. Once there, he could see what the big deal was about getting on the road - his parents had scored a Tesla XE hybrid car as their rental for the week they'd been in New York. Chaim, being a gadgety person by nature, was always interested in trying out the latest in auto-technology.

'Nice wheels, Papa,' he said in approval, stroking fingers over the shiny emerald green door. 'This gets what, fifty miles a gallon?'

'Fifty-six actually. Very efficient for in the city and traveling as you two do.'

'Traveling?'

'Well visiting to your baseball games and the house in Hampton Town-'

'Village, Chaim,' Shir corrected him absently.

'Yes, Shiri, and of course getting a Christmas tree with your gentile in-laws.'

'Wait, wait, wait.' Alexis may have been sleep deprived but she was certain a step had been left out. She gestured back and forth, trying to compute it. 'This is your rental car. Why would we have it two months from now?'

'Because it is actually yours.' Shir grinned proudly, held out the keys. 'Surprise.'


	6. Canadian Thanksgiving II

'What?' Shane blinked, much like Petra did at loud noises, and stared in blank shock from one parent to the other. 'You...you're giving us a car?'

'Yes, something efficiently stylish so that you don't have to feel guilty about not using it and no worries for a rental if you have to go to the airport or like Chaim said, up to the Hamptons in the summer, or anything like that.'

'So when you had me drive you guys around to your apartment-viewing appointments in the city, I was test-driving my own car?'

'And I was trying it out for groceries and Petra's baby things?' Alexis added.

Chaim had the good conscience to look a little sheepish as he nodded, looped his arm with Shir's who looked as gleeful as he did humbled. 'It's so hard to surprise you because of the nature of our living situations until January. We figured this would be a good way to have you check it out without you getting smart to us.'

'What about payments and-and-and insurance?' Shane spluttered.

'We can iron out the insurance on Tuesday, but as far as payments are concerned, well, we saved up after we found out Alexis was pregnant,' Chaim explained, 'so it is free and clear.'

'Free and clear,' Alexis repeated as she began to laugh. 'Holy hell, a car. A car, Shane! Can you believe that!'

'Yes, I can.' Shane pulled his parents in for a hug, then grinned when Chaim took Petra in her carrier and set about fastening the seat into the car. 'Well, Happy Canadian Thanksgiving us.'

'Here, you drive.'

Shane slipped into the driver's seat, Shir beside him while Chaim and Alexis sat on each side of Petra's baby seat they'd fastened in. He gave a laugh that mirrored Alexis' as he found the ignition switches - being a new model hybrid, it had the traditional key along with a start-engine button that made him feel like he was manning a shuttle from _Star Trek Voyager_. 'I can't wait to see their faces when we get to the cottage.'

* * *

The drive up in the shiny new hybrid was smooth and silky as whipped cream; Petra was out like a little light before they'd reached Penn Station on the ride out of the city. When they reached the house on Ocean View Boulevard, they were greeted with the sight of the spiffy red Nissan SUV in the driveway along with the sexy vintage Sting-Ray in glossy turquoise and the blank Lincoln town-car. They would get to join the ranks of their family that would be easily identified in the driveway by the car now, Alexis thought with a bubble of glee.

The deep-throated woofs coming from behind the house had Petra jolting awake, looking around in confusion. Before Alexis even had a chance to soothe the baby she saw Tessi come flying out the sliding doors on the porch leash in hand, quickly followed by Meredeth.

'Tugs! No! Wait!' Tessi hollered as the large black dog with her cheerful green collar came bounding up to the car. She fastened the leash to her beloved pet and wrestled her back, an impressive feat to be sure as Tortuga's shoulders were at equal height to Tessi's arm-pits. 'Silly girl, you're gonna scare Petra! She's gonna think you're mean and you aren't mean you silly puppy.'

Shane rolled down his window, reached his arm out to give Tortuga a rub behind the ears. 'Hey girl, you better behave, we have precious cargo back here.'

The word 'behave' appeared to have a magical effect on to dog for she pranced around to effectively back herself up, then parked her furry rump on the ground near Tessi's feet and gave her young mistress a big doggy grin as if to say 'see, I'm a good girl!' By the time Tortuga had settled a little, Meredeth had reached them and easily took hold of the leash.

'Listen you,' she informed Tortuga. 'There is a little baby in there who has no idea what a puppy is, and certainly not one as big as you are. So we are going to show Alexis, Shane, Chaim and Shir how well you can behave. Got it?'

Tortuga licked Meredeth's palm in response, remained seated as Alexis and Shane left the car, Petra in Alexis' arms. She walked forward carefully, saw the way Tortuga was all but vibrating with the urge to jump up to give puppy-kisses. When they were close enough, Meredeth gave the dog enough leash to stand up; she lifted her head and snuffled at Petra's feet in her tiny little party shoes. Tortuga gave a little woofing sneeze of satisfaction, letting Meredeth give the leash back to Tessi.

'You make sure she's on a leash when she comes in before suppertime, right?' she reminded her oldest daughter.

'Yes Mami!'

Alexis looked down at Petra who appeared confused but not upset as she wriggled her little legs. More than anything, she sensed her little girl was going to be needing a change of pants soon. 'Well, that's two big surprises already this weekend and it's not even supper time on Friday! Wonder what will happen tomorrow?'

Petra responded by screwing up her face and letting out a monstrous fart followed by a sneeze. She gave a little sigh, and wrinkled up her nose; a moment later, the strongly foul odor hit Alexis' nose. 'Oof sweetie, that feels better but smells way worse. Seriously how do you turn milk into that?'

'Uh-huh,' Meredeth said absently, watching to make sure that Tortuga and Tessi were out of the way. 'Alrighty, let me have that little darling, and you can bring the in-laws to the kitchen for their first Canadian thanksgiving meal preparation.'

Alexis watched the way Meredeth slipped Petra onto her hip, looked back at Shane and his parents helping to bring in the bags from the car, and felt a fleeting moment of shimmering perfection in her life.


	7. Kitchen Chatter

When Shane stepped into the spacious kitchen of the Hamptons mansion-cottage, he was immediately hit with the delectable scents of rosemary, fresh bread and maple syrup. Oh yeah, this was definitely one of his favourite holidays for the food alone. At the counter were Dave, Lanie and Meredeth with each one attending to a different part of the meal.

'Hey guys,' he called out in greeting, and they looked his direction with Lanie visibly disappointed.

'Where's the baby?' she pouted.

'With her mumum getting a nappy change.'

'Oh, okay then. What about your folks?'

'Elenia,' Dave chuckled as he rinsed the first batch of potatoes that would be for the French fry base of their gourmet poutine. 'Isn't it a common North American practice to greet the person coming into the room and not grilling him?'

'But...I wanna see the baby, it's been too long already!' Lanie pouted, hilariously so in Shane's opinion. 'And I wanna see his parents too, it's been too long for that too!'

Before Shane could pointed out they'd have a whole weekend to visit, Chaim and Shir entered into the kitchen with their eyes dancing.

'Sorry for the delay, we were distracted by your charming children, Doctor Parrish-Robbins,' Shir told her as she went to give Lanie a hug in greeting. 'Carey and Finn and Violet are so excited about their new little friend.'

'That is good to be happy about new friends,' Chaim pointed out, 'it means they have loving hearts and they also have good taste as it is my new little _shani_ what makes them so dee-lighted.'

'Meredeth, what is we are doing now?' Ever interested in the kitchen work, Shir rounded the end of the island to find out what was in the works. 'Is the big supper tonight or tomorrow?'

'We are splitting it into two parts,' Meredeth replied, 'almost like a little Thanksgiving Chanukah.'

'How lovely. What is part one tonight?'

'Sweet potato, squash and pumpkin soup, maple-syrup glazed ham, crispy chickpeas, roasted asparagus and for our midnight snack, poutine. Oh and apple cider pound cake for dessert.'

'Poutine? What is that?'

'It's delicious, Shir,' Alexis replied, coming into the kitchen with Petra in her arms; the moment she was there, Lanie let out a little squeal.

'Ooo, hello hello hello pretty girl!'

'Who's that, is that Auntie Lanie with Auntie Meredeth and Uncle Dave? It sure is,' she said to Petra who burbled contentedly in her mother's arms as Lanie came bounding over.

'Oh, please can I hold her, Lex?'

The almost puppy-love in Lanie's eyes had Alexis giggling then letting out a little gasp as she saw Petra's mouth widened and turn up at the corners. 'Oh my god, she's smiling! She's smiling! Shane, look!'

'Hey look at you my little gem!' Shane pulled out his phone, snapped the pictures to capture the moment of his little girl's first ever smile. 'What a charmer, yes you are!'

'Come see Auntie Lanie.' With nimble fingers, Lanie plucked the baby from her mother's arms and tickled her tummy. 'Oh, you are such a pretty girl, yes you are! Yes you are!'

'Uh, Lanie,' Meredeth laughed, pointed to the station of veggies Lanie had so gleefully abandoned in favour of playing with Petra. 'We've got soup to make.'

'I'll take over.' Tugging up his sleeves, Chaim washed his hands and surveyed the station. 'I am no great food-mind like you, Miss Merry-Dot, but I am a soup-master. I taught it to my boy when I learned he was going to be in the United States for university. I told him, Scheine, you have to know how to make ham and pea soup to keep you warm in the winter after being in Israel for so many time.'

'Yes, we will watch Opa make soup won't we pretty girl,' Lanie cooed at Petra, then looked up at Alexis. 'I miss my kids being so small, it's fun to have a new one to play with.'

'And then you'll forget about Petra when Zane arrives?' Shane teased her, making the pretty doctor stick her tongue out like a teenager.

'Then it will be double the fun. Lindsay said that Zane is learning to put himself on his tummy now.'

'He's almost four months old. He'll be almost seven months at Christmas time, he might even be trying to talk by Valentine's Day.'

'No no no,' Alexis pouted playfully. 'Don't talk about the babies getting too big already.'

'Okay, Lex. We'll just enjoy how cute and tiny they are now.'

Lanie pressed a little kiss to Petra's forehead then grinned when she heard the feet outside the kitchen she recognized as belonging to her own treasures.

'Finn! We have to wash our hands first! That way we don't have any germs around the new baby!'

'Oh yeah! They don't have eye-moon systems yet right?'

'They do but they are still being built up, and it's an immune system. Say it with me. Eeee-mune.'

'Eeee-mune.'

Lanie went to the doorway of the kitchen, saw Carey ushering his younger siblings towards the water-closet just of the kitchen, pointed towards them. 'Those are my babies,' she told Petra, 'and they are a handful but I love them very, very much.'

'Blb.'

'Yeah, maybe, you might get one or two of your own in a year or so,' Lanie agreed, then looked up at Alexis with a wink. 'I bet your mumum and papa can't wait to try practicing for a little brother or sister.'

'Considering I feel like I'm still seven months pregnant, I think that part is gonna wait until I'm back to my normal self again.'

'Trust me girl,' Lanie laughed, looking over at Dave and feeling that little rush. 'Your man isn't gonna worry if you think you're too big or small, he just wants to get his hands on you again.'

'Really?'

'A night at the movies says I'm wrong.'

'Deal.'


	8. Afternoon Nap Time

'Don't push me!'

'I'm not pushing you!'

'Yes you are, I can feel you pushin' me!'

'No push!'

'Guys no fighting!'

Alexis winced a little a the bright sharp sounds of children's voices; then again, that was probably because she'd been in desperate need of a nap since it had been her turn to be on night-watch for Petra and she'd been fussy from all the over-excitement of so many sounds and smells and new people holding her during the course of Canadian Thanksgiving. Friday night had been a blur of food and people and fun, but now on Saturday afternoon it felt like she'd barely closed her eyes when the young voices were jolting her awake.

Still she sighed deeply, turned over towards the source of the noise, and wasn't surprised to see Tessi there with Nessa, Max, Heddie and Nate near the bassinet where Petra was snoring like an angel. Yep, she was most definitely Shane's little girl Alexis thought with a laugh - the baby was barely four weeks old and she sounded like her papa already, the noise like the light buzzing of mosquitoes every time she breathed in her sleep.

'Hey guys,' she greeted them in a sleep blurred voice. 'Whatcha doing in here?'

Tessi looked over at Alexis, then at her young charges. 'Now see what you've done, you woke Alexis up! Now we'll get in trouble for being loud.'

'We not loud!' Heddie protested in a stage whisper, and came over to try and butter up Alexis with the same technique that worked on her daddy. Climbing onto the bed, she scooted close, wrapped her little arms around her shoulders. 'We not loud, right 'Lessis? We good little pee-pills.'

'Yes you are, and I don't mind you being in here, but I'm not sure if Petra would like it. She was up late for snack time last night and she couldn't get back to sleep.'

'She haffin' nappy time?' Nate asked with his big dark eyes shining. 'You haffin' nappy time too?'

'I was, but if you guys like we can all cuddle together,' Alexis offered, trying to sort out a solution where her little visitors could stay and she could still keep her post-partum ass cozily tucked into bed. Going out on a limb she tried a favourite of RJ and Jojo's. 'If you like, we can have story time.'

It did the trick, as all the young eyes went wide with delight. They bobbed their heads, and clambered into the cozy queen sized bed, tunneling under the fluffy duvet like eager little gophers and popping up on either side of Alexis.

'I baby, I 'los-sis!' Nate insisted, tucking himself into Alexis' left side and holding her shirt with a death grip so that no one would be able to move him. 'Hid-dee odder side!'

'Okay Misser Nate,' Heddie agreed, repeating the process on the other side. She wiggled her little butt, making Alexis laugh. 'There, all suh-nug-ah-lee.'

'Tessi, we should go get a book since the little guys are all tucked in,' Nessa told her friend.

'Okay, why don't you and Max Power go do that? I'm going to keep an eye on the baby.'

Alexis had to snicker - as Max and Nessa went to find a story, Tessi stood right by the bassinet to watch over Petra. She was so cute and little. 'Alexis, was I that small when I was her age?'

'You were a little bigger, sweetie, because you were over eight pounds when you were born.'

'Mami says I was a bowling ball,' Tessi giggled.

'Yep, and we called Leo and Trini Porky and Jello because Trini was all legs, kicking away and Leo was the bigger twin.'

'I big boy too,' Nate said, hooking his index finger into his mouth and looking up at Alexis. 'I big boy Less?'

'You sure were indeed, and now you're a great big boy.' Alexis planted a smacking kiss on the top of his head, then gave one to Heddie. 'And you're a a big girl too.'

'Yea!'

'Found it!' With a triumphant stage whisper, Max and Nessa returned with Max proudly waving his copy of _The Adventures of Jordie and Jelly_. 'Can Petra come and read this one too?'

'She's still resting, sweetie,' Alexis said, causing Nessa to peek into the bassinet.

'No, she's awake!'

'Is she?'

Automatically, Heddie shifted away so Alexis could rise to check on her daughter; sure enough the little girl was wide awake and looking around. 'Hey there beautiful,' she cooed, and Nessa and Tessi gasped.

'Oh, Alexis, she is smiling!' Tessi clapped softly. 'Oh, so cute! She is so smart!'

'She sure is,' Nessa agreed, reaching out a delicate hand to pat Petra's tummy before Alexis picked her up. 'She is a good baby.'

'She is a great baby, she is Petra!' Max declared regally, then looked over. 'Nate, Heddie, we gotta make room so Alexis can sit up with Petra and we can all read the story.'

'How Less read and hold Pet-ah-ra?' Heddie inquired, already moving to sit beside her buddy.

'Tessi is gonna read the story,' Max decided, passing his big sister the book. 'Here, you do it so Alexis can make sure Petra gets to join in.'

'You ready for a story, sweetie pie? Your friends are excited for story time, and I don't know this book,' Alexis told Petra as she moved back to the bed and settled herself in. She leaned back against the mountain of pillows she still loved to sleep with, cradling the baby so she could see everyone around her. 'There we are, all good to go.'

'Is everyone else ready?' Always adept at being little mother hen, Tessi knelt on the bed and held up the book so she was showing off the pictures while she read. 'The Adventures of Jordie and Jelly, by Alex Court. Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Jordan and she had the best friend ever, a teddy named Jelly...'


	9. Uncle WorryWart: 5 Weeks, 2 Days

'RJ, when are they gonna be here?'

Jojo followed her brother around the the table with cutlery as he put down the plates table set for a whole lotta people. Jojo loved nights like this when everyone was going to be there. One big happy family, just how she liked it.

'RJ,' she tried again when she got no response, 'when will they be here?'

'I'unno. Mumum?' RJ bellowed up the stairs. 'When are we going to have people get here?'

'In a moment RJ, Daddy and I are talking!'

RJ barely registered his sister's sigh of impatience - he knew his parents were talking about the Kali Wenthram case. It was a big case to close, one that had made everyone sad when that nice Detective Newman had gotten killed. It had made RJ very uneasy because he knew his mother was an even more important detective than Newman had been. He wished they'd just stop talking about it because it made all the fears he'd talked about with his school counselors come racing back.

RJ didn't want to feel that any more, certainly not tonight when they had people coming for a big Mexican feast. He'd even gotten to make churros with Trini's 'buela on his last school-day off and he'd put them in the freezer for safe keeping.

At the buzzing of the doorbell, RJ saw his parents come downstairs and felt a squish in his stomach - they had the look on their faces not of serious talks but the one when his father had given his mother a great big kiss. 'We have people here,' he pointed out to them. 'Daddy can we put the enchiladas in yet?'

'Has your timer gone yet?' Castle asked his son, knowing the boy loved to make a show of pulling out his iTouch whenever he could.

'No?'

'So not time yet.'

'Shane! Alexis!'

RJ's concerns over supper vanished when he saw his sister and brother in law enter with the baby carrier and bags. He felt his fingers and toes go all warm and tingly, the same way they had when Jojo had been that little, as he went over to see his precious baby. 'Hello my little Petra niece, it's Uncle RJ,' he said softly, bypassing Alexis and Shane directly for the little one. 'Do you remember being here? We had a celebration for you where we learned your Jewish name. It's such a pretty name, and tonight we are having yummy food just like that night.'

'RJ, let them come in the door,' Beckett chuckled, giving Alexis and Shane a kiss hello.

'They are inside, Mumum,' Jojo pointed out as she wandered over to greet her sister. 'Mmm, has Petra been a good girl today? Does she get to have her dessert?'

'She sure does, but she gave her papa a little scare this morning,' Alexis giggled, making Shane roll his own eyes while RJ's widened.

'What happened?'

'Her belly button fell off when we were getting her ready for her morning bath.'

'What?'

The sharpness of RJ's voice startled Petra, whose face began to crumple up as she whimpered in fright, making RJ feel even worse. 'Petra, I'm sorry! I wasn't yelling at you, but that's a very serious thing!'

With nimble moves, Alexis unfastened Petra's harness and had her in her arms for soothing her. 'Shh, it's okay, Uncle RJ was just surprised. Here, talk to her buddy.'

'Shh, it's okay, it's okay little Petra.' RJ spoke in the same voice he'd used when Jojo was a little baby like his niece. When Petra continued to fuss, he felt his heart freeze. 'I...I'm making it worse, I'm not helping. I...I gotta go.'

Before anyone could react, RJ bolted up the stairs; a few moments later, there was the sound of a slamming door.

'What's he so upset about?' Jojo inquired. 'Babies cry at loud noises, it's what happens, isn't it?'

'RJ's been feeling a little upset and stressed, remember Jojo?' Castle pointed out to his youngest daughter as he helped Shane with his things. 'The Kali Wenthram case really shook him up.'

'I'll go straighten him out,' she decided in her patent I-got-it-covered style, but Shane put a hand on her shoulder.

'I got this one, bumblebee. He needs a bro right now. You hang here with Alexis and Petra.'

'Okay.'

Heading upstairs, Shane tried to think of what he might say to the young man; with a light knock on the door, he called through the wood. 'RJ?'

'Go away!' was the muffled reply.

'Nope, won't happen pal.'

'No Just go make sure Petra is okay!'

'She's fine, buddy. I'm coming in.' Shane opened the door, felt his heart break - RJ was sprawled face down on his bed, face buried in his pillow. It was a favourite position Shane had used too when he'd been frustrated and embarrassed to be crying. 'What has you so turned upside down?'

'I told you, I would do something to mess up the baby,' RJ sniffled royally.

'Petra's fine.'

'But...but...' RJ dissolved into tears once more, flopping forward once more, causing Shane to put a steady hand on his back.

'RJ, I know you're still turned around about your mumum with the Kali case.'

'What if that happens to my mumum? Or you?' RJ very nearly wailed it. 'What if Petra has to grow up without her papa?'

'RJ, it's okay to be frightened. But you know what?' Shane waited until he'd rolled to his back and saw the boy's tear-stained face. 'If you need to talk to me or Alexis, you go right ahead.'

'I'm sorry for running away.'

'That's okay too, sometimes that's the smart thing to do.'

'Can...can you and Alexis tell me about the belly button thing?' RJ asked hopefully, and Shane smiled.

'Come downstairs, I'll tell you about it while we get ready for supper.'


	10. Breast Feeding Banter: 6 Weeks, 4 Days

'Alexis? Petra? I'm heading out!'

Alexis looked up from where she was nursing Petra in her favourite armchair, saw Shane coming down the hallway of the apartment. Her heart gave a nice little thumpity-thump when she saw him in his cashmere jumper and pressed jeans. Th scent of his date-night cologne caught her nose and she felt the little trickle of warm in her belly.

'Ooo, looking sexy Doctor Weaver,' she told him with a sly grin, and Shane grinned right back.

'Mmm, Petra better behave tonight because when I get home...' Shane trailed off, laid his lips near to Alexis' ear so she felt his breath on her skin. 'You and I are going to have some time just for us.'

'Oh Shane-'

'Baby, I know you're feeling all loose and jelly-like still,' he cut her off, using her own words from that morning when she'd gotten out of the shower, 'but trust me, Alexis, you will never have to worry about whether or not I still find you sexy now that Petra is here.'

'Really?'

'Damn right.' Shane winked at her, making Alexis smile.

'I know it's ridiculous because my mom and Meredeth, Lanie and Lili and Sloan and all of them have gone through it and they have more than one child too.'

'Exactly.'

'Still doesn't stop me from feeling like crap about my body though.'

'So we do what we've always done.' Shane waited while Alexis switched Petra to her other breast, then took her hand in his so their wedding rings clinked. 'We work through it together. You've already shrunken down six weeks post-birth and you can wear your rings again. That's a positive, right?'

'For sure.' Alexis wiggled her fingers proudly. 'The scale says I'm back down to one forty-one already. That's four pounds off from breast-feeding alone since the birth.'

Petra gave a gusty little sigh which made both her parents' hearts melting, Shane adding on, 'Yeah we are talking about you sweetheart. What have my favourite redheads got planned for tonight while Papa is out with the boys?'

'Oh it's a wild scene here. We are having Lindsay and Sloan and their little ones over while you, Jeremy and Adam are out for strippers and drag racing.'

'Strippers, no, but you're not far off with the second one. We're going drag queen bingo.'

'Oh I've heard of that, it's a fundraiser for a charity of the celebrity caller's choosing, right? Who is doing the calling?'

'Eric Samson, one of the stars from _Dallas, Lieutenant Eve_.'

'Oh nice.'

'Who is he?' Shane asked, only watching the show when Alexis did as he was more into classic crime stories like Sherlock Holmes versus the sci-fi leaning HBO series that Alexis and many others of their family loved.

'He plays Baxter, the smooth-talking detective who trains the yummy eye candy Troy Trueheart played by Murdock Fenton.' Alexis paused while she adjusted Petra so she was sitting on her knee, Alexis' hand bracing her neck and head so Petra could be burped. 'If you get a chance to say hi, tell him I thought episode four of the Portrait Killer was his best yet, because we got to see him fully realize his role as a big-bro for Trueheart.'

'Will do.' Shane looked at his watch, whistled. 'Alrighty, Papa's heading out girls. Gimme kisses.'

He leaned in to give Alexis a peck, and was inches away from Petra's face when he heard the pop of her burp, saw bubbles form on her lips which made him kiss her forehead instead. 'I'll call when I'm on my way home.'

'Stay safe and have fun. Love you.'

'Love you too.'

Shane was pulling on his coat as he hit the lobby, saw Jeremy and Adam both there admiring the new car. 'Pet it all you want guys,' he called out to them, 'doesn't make it any less real.'

'I can't believe you got a new set of wheels from your folks,' Adam told him incredulously. 'Seriously, how loaded are your parents, Shane?'

'Just enough that eight years of premium quality higher education including medical school wasn't an issue and not enough to have some weird delusions that I could have whatever I wanted,' he replied honestly. 'So, taxi or subway to get to the bingo hall?'

'Subway, it's right near Barney Q's of Amsterdam,' replied Jeremy.

'How come you and Sloan didn't come together?'

'Because she has some surprise she's giving Alexis and she needed a little time to get it ready so I fetched you first.' He patted his friend's shoulder, then gave it a friendly squeeze. 'Gimme your phone.'

'Why?'

'Because you are not going to spend the entire night being tempted to text Alexis about the baby, that's why.'

'But-'

'Dude, we know you,' Adam told him, 'and as two dudes who have already gone through it, trust me when I say you can talk a big game but it will hit you like a freight train, like 'holy shit, why am I getting to go out and have fun, and my wife who was pregnant for nine months is still doing all the heavy lifting'. I was at the movies with Ryan and Espo when that happened to me and trust me, it was not pretty.'

'So we are going to be your support group, your Daddies-Anonymous sponsors, if you like,' Jeremy told him as they headed down the stairs into the Twenty-Third Street Station. 'You're allowed three moments tops. This is meant for you have a break from being a dad so you can be a better one because you're not burned out on baby. So you're going to have some beers and two-for-one wings and watch some drag queens pull their balls. Sound good?'

'Yeah,' Shane laughed. 'Sounds good.'


	11. Two Boys, One Baby

Alexis checked the baby bag one more time, double checked the battery power on her phone. Yep, both were full stocked, which meant it was time to hit the road.

'Petra, are you excited? We are going to the cafe today while Papa talks to his boss. Yes we are, we sure are, and we might just see some friends there.'

Petra gurgled happily, poking her tongue against her lower lip while she sat in her pram, kicking her toes merrily. She was such a happy little girl, Alexis thought with a smile, her precious little gem. Most mothers probably thought their firstborn baby was the best but in this case, it was true – no matter how much Alexis loved RJ and Jojo, there was nothing like loving her own little one.

Stuffing her arms into her coat, she slung the baby bag over her shoulder, then pushed the pram out of the door. A short elevator ride later and they were on their way for a walk down the wonderful streets of Grammercy Park. Alexis loved her neighbourhood this time of year, there was so much colour. It made her think of _Fantasia_, when the Waltz of the Flowers was depicted by falling leaves in a forest.

She turned south when she reached Park Avenue, heading for Union Square and the Cake Crumbs Cafe she knew she'd find there with Sloan and her boys waiting for them. Sloan was always an early bird, a habit she'd never broken from their private school days, and according to Jeremy both Devon and Nate had followed in their mother's footsteps.

Sure enough when Alexis reached the much beloved Gennaro's, she wasn't surprised to see her friend with her children waiting at one of the booths opposite the inviting counter of displayed daily offerings.

'Mama, look! Deb-in look!' Nate, ever a cheerful soul, was all but bouncing up and down in his booster seat and bapping his palms together in excitement at their arrival. 'See Lessis! See Pet-wa!'

'I see them Nate!' Devon, always ready to encourage his brother's joy, clapped in delight along with him. 'But we have to let Alexis sit down first so she can hold Petra in her arms. Then we can give hugs an' kisses-'

'Mooshie! Mooshie-mooshie-moosh!'

'Fine, hugs and mooshes, be-cause Pet-ah-ra is so tiny.'

'Pet-wa lid-ill,' Nate said seriously, looking at his mother with big dark eyes. 'Pet-wa way lid-ill Mama.'

'She is, and you and Devon both started out that way,' Sloan told them, rising to help Alexis. She looked down at the snoozing Petra, made a sweet face. 'Aw, what a cutie-pie! How is she doing, how are you both doing so far?'

'So far it's been pretty good but...' Alexis trailed off a little gave a laugh. 'I still feel so overwhelmed some days.'

'Hey that's totally natural, Lex,' she replied, 'and remember if you need to talk to your doctor, that's why they are there. I talked to mine a lot after Devon was born and Garrett took off.'

'Because my bio-daddy was a big fat bonehead who didn't love me or Mama,' Devon said with a stern expression, catching the name he'd hear Sloan bring up once or twice when he'd asked why he didn't have hair like Jeremy or her, 'but my real daddy loves us both a whole bunches.'

If that wasn't a slogan for the nature versus nuture debate, Alexis didn't know what was. Rather than making it a family issues moment, she sat down, pressed her fingers to Petra's little belly to feel the rhythmic rise and fall before smiling at Devon and Nate. 'Well boys, our guests are here so that means-'

'Shoco-late time!' Nate's already sunny smile increased a hundred fold. 'Lessis, Pet-wah like shoco-late?'

'She's too little yet,' Devon reminded his brother, and Nate nodded sagely.

'Oh yeah! Lessis, Pet-wah haffa bob-ill soon?'

'When she wakes up,' Alexis laughed, then looked at Sloan. 'They are too cute for words, I hope Petra is that adorable when she is two years old.'

'She's adorable already at two months,' Sloan pointed out. 'Just like my munchkins. What are you in the mood for?'

'Well, your since put me in the mood for chocolate now,' she smiled, 'so perhaps a specialty croissant or butter cookie and a nice cup of seriously awesome hot chocolate sounds fantastic right now.'

Sloan nodded; she'd already put an order in for that very thing. 'Awesome. Be right back.'

'Ooo, do you want a cookie with sprinkles?' Devon pulled his chair closer to Alexis, sniffed lightly. He loved Petra's new-baby smell, leaned closer to watch her cute little nose wrinkle up as she slept. 'Alexis, she is a good baby.'

'She is the best.'

'I say hi-hi Pet-wah soon?' Nate implored Alexis, his little lip threatening to poke out in a pout. 'She 'till noozin'?'

'Soon. For now, we are all going to have some cookies and hot chocolate.' she told him.

'Ooo yummy.'

'Uh oh, I guess Petra doesn't wanna be left out either! Hi pretty girl!'

Devon softened his voice as he saw Petra wake, blinking her dark blue eyes as she began to splutter. 'Alexis, is she sad?'

'No sad Pet-wah!' Nate looked horrified, eyes darting to his mother who had returned from the counter with a plate of cookies and a bowl of steaming water. 'Fiss it, Mama!'

'I think Alexis can fix it better. Look.'

Sloan pointed to where Alexis was taking one of Petra's bottles from the cooler-compartment of the baby bag and popped it into the boiling water, before lifting Petra from her seat and settling her against her shoulder to soothe her fretful whimpers. She knew Alexis was struggling a little with the idea of being a perfect mom who knew it all, but that was just plain foolish - anyone watching them in that moment would have seen just how great a new mom Alexis was becoming.


	12. Tomorrow Will Be Kinder I: 7 Weeks4 Days

Shane was still half-asleep when he heard the sound of Petra waking in the nursery; he knew he must be a new daddy as he said to Alexis, 'Baby's awake, babe,' with his mouth still half-glued to his pillow. 'Your turn or mine?'

'Mine.'

'Okay.'

Shake sank back into sleep as he felt Alexis' weight shift off of the bed, heard her feet hit the floor. He was so proud of her, how she was such an amazing new mom already. The dedication they had for keeping their alternates schedule going was really helping keep them strong as a couple as well - he'd heard stories from Jeremy and Adam how they'd dealt with a lot of guilt when their waves had been new moms constantly up all night because they didn't want their men to feel obligated.

He lay there in bed, waiting to hear the sounds that always made him laugh, as there were always a few moments when Alexis forgot about the baby monitor. When he didn't hear the usual chatter, he felt something clutch in his belly. Alexis always talked to Petra, even if it was about how tired or unsexy she felt.

But not this morning. Worried, Shane slipped out of bed, tugging on his t-shirt as he headed for the nursery. He stopped dead in the doorway when he saw the scene - Alexis, his beautiful, capable strawberry, was standing still as a statue in front of the crib, like a woman in a fugue state. Her breathing was shallow and she was staring blankly at the crib where Petra was happily burbling away and grabbing her toes.

'Lex?' Shane said her name, and when she didn't respond, he felt something in his belly twist hard and sharp. 'Lex,' he repeated in a firmer tone; this time she turned to him like she was possessed, and Shane saw the faraway, terrified look in his eyes. 'Lex, what's wrong?'

'I can't do this, Shane. I can't...I can't...'

'Can't do what?'

'Be a mother.'

'Alexis.' Shane felt all the spit dry up in his mouth. 'How long has this been going on? How long have you felt like this without telling me?'

'I...I came in to change her and I looked at her and I froze,' she said lightly, 'I looked at her and I didn't see my baby, I didn't see my sweet little girl, I saw...rules and responsibilities and pitying looks from our family and our friends about how much of a screwup I am, and how I have all this pressure on me to make them proud and how I am completely incapable of doing it. I have no way to be a good mom the way I should be a good mom and I'm so disappointed in myself for putting you through all of this-'

'Alexis.' Shane doubted Alexis knew she'd begun to cry during her meltdown. He moved close to pull her in for a hug; pain was as real as a punch in the gut when she tried to pull away from him.

'Don't...don't touch me. I...' Alexis dragged her hands over her face. 'I'm a failure, Shane. Every last one of our friends knew exactly what to do, they never struggled, or felt inadequate or scared.'

'Do you recall what Meredeth went through, having surgery when she was pregnant with Max, or Lindsay feeling the exact same way after she found out she couldn't have more kids after Zane?'

'But they are smart and capable, and they never feel like this!'

Alexis' voice was raising to a shrill pitch that had Petra blinking in shock, and her own scared wails filled the nursery. Without thinking twice she reached into the crib to pick up the baby, which had Shane's worries temporarily subsiding; they re-emerged with a vengeance when Alexis passed Petra to him and she all but ran out of the nursery. A few moments later, Shane heard the bathroom door slam, the water begin to run and he murmured gently to Petra, 'Mumum's not feeling so hot, my precious gem. Her heart is so full of love for you that she is scared she might do the wrong thing. But we are going to help her.'

Petra calmed as Shane talked to her, looked at him with her big blue eyes and said 'Blb' as though she were asking a question to her papa.

'Of course she loves you, don't you ever doubt that.'

They walked down the hallway, relief sweet as honey when Shane tested the bathroom doorknob and found it unlocked. He opened it, found Alexis sitting on the closed toilet seat lid, eyes red and puffy.

'Someone wants to say hi.'

Alexis managed a smile before dissolving into sobs again. 'Shane, I'm so sorry, I love her so much but...I'm not a mom. I have a baby and I'm not a mom.'

'Alexis Harper Weaver, you are a great mother.'

Alexis closed her eyes, then suddenly found her arms filled with Petra's weight. She opened her eyes, looked down at her daughter's beautiful little face, stroked her cheek. 'You are so perfect, my precious gem,' she murmured, then cuddled her close. 'You...you deserve the best.'

'She has the best, Lex.'

'I'm so scared, Shane,' Alexis looked at him. 'Something isn't right in here.'

Shane nodded when she tapped her fingertip to her temple. 'That's okay.'

'No it's not-'

'Yes it is. I'll be right back.'

Shane gave both his girls a kiss, then raced into the bedroom. Without thinking twice, he dialed the one person he knew would be able to help him right now.

'Come on, come on, come on,' he muttered as the phone rang; after what seemed an eternity, the line connected.

'Shane, what's wrong, are you okay?'

'Lanie, it's Alexis. She needs to talk to you, like now.'

'What's wrong?'

'I'm pretty sure she has post-partum depression.'


	13. Tomorrow Will Be Kinder II

'Petra, what am I going to do?'

Still sitting on the closed toilet seat lid, Alexis gently rocked back and forth with Petra against her shoulders, tapping the baby soothingly between her tiny little shoulder blades. Petra was sucking on her little fingers; without thinking twice Alexis stood up with her daughter and headed for the nursery. She'd been so caught up in her own issues - something she couldn't let happen anymore - that she hadn't even changed Petra's night-time nappie for a fresh morning one.

'We won't let that happen again, will we,' she said gently, flashes of her parents, her friends looking at her with their stupid barely-hidden smiles, as they tilted their heads to the side and gave her the 'oh honey' expression, as in 'oh honey, you're just too damn dumb to know any better about parenting, aren't you'. Alexis had seen that look their far too often lately, and it was really making her angry. She didn't need them telling her how much she was screwing up already, she was aware of that enough.

Still, she went through the motions of tickling Petra's tummy and toes, making her baby laugh which nearly had Alexis' tears starting up once more - the sound was something so angelic it seemed impossible for bad things to happen when that noise was dancing in the air. By the time Petra was freshly changed, she was ready for a snack so they headed for the comfy overstuffed armchair in the nursery for a little drink.

It was how Shane found his favourite redheads when he returned from his call, which told him one very important thing - if Alexis was still able to bond with her, the PPD was probably not going to need treatment from medication. 'Lex?'

Alexis glanced up at him with a soft smile, Petra making little slurpy noises as she drank her milk. 'Hey.'

'I called Lanie,' Shane started, then shut up when he saw Alexis' face go white once again.

'You did what?'

'I called Lanie, because she has been through post-partum depression.'

The words were out now, and as Shane expected Alexis looked at him like his forehead had suddenly grown its own eyes. 'That's preposterous. I'm a psychiatrist, I know what depression looks like.'

'You also know as a physician the dangers of self-diagnosis.'

'I'm not going to say I'm fine, because I'm not,' Alexis pointed out, pausing a moment to switch Petra to her other breast. 'But I don't have depression.'

'Alexis, I don't want to fight with you.' Shane took a bracing breath, ready to drop the second bomb. 'Lanie is on her way over to talk to you.'

If looks could kill, he knew he'd be six feet under in a nanosecond from the burning glare Alexis shot at him. 'You can stare me down all you like, but you are going to talk to a trusted friend about this because I don't want you hurting.'

She wanted to scream and shout, and rant and rave at him, but Alexis saw no point - it would get out sooner or later given that Lanie was her mother's best friend. Hell they were probably bonding over how badly she was fucking up her child's life already. 'Fine,' she said in weary resignation. 'No point in telling her to go home if she's already used the subway fare.'

'What can I do right now to help,' Shane asked, feeling more than a little helpless, even worse than when Alexis had been in labour and the best strategy he had was holding her hand and rubbing her back.

'Put on some coffee, I guess? What do you serve someone coming to investigate your parenting skills?'

Shane let that one go, as he heard the buzz for the door downstairs; in five minutes Lanie was in the apartment, giving him python-esque hugs as worry coated her face.

'Shane, thank God you called,' she said quietly, glancing toward the nursery doors. 'On a scale of one to ten how pissed is she with you?'

'Those dials go to eleven,' he replied drily, intending to follow her over, but she pressed her fingertip into his chest.

'Nuh-uh, hot stuff. You're the man, you sit down over there,' Lanie told him, pointing at the couch. 'This is a girl-on-girl thing. What Alexis needs right now is to talk to someone who's been there before she blows up entirely. Then you can be her superhero.'

Shane lifted his palms in acquiescence, took his seat; Lanie nodded her approval then quietly walked over to the nursery, poked her head in the propped-open door. 'Hey there sweetie.'

'Hey Lanie.' Alexis put on her brightest smile as she gently patted Petra's back to burp her. 'I'm so sorry Shane called you, it's-'

'Don't you fucking dare, lady,' Lanie told her vehemently. 'I am not buying that routine for a second. Now, you are going to finish up with little miss here, then you are going to pu your hubby in charge of your child and you are going to talk to me.'

'Lanie, I'm not depressed,' Alexis insisted. 'I'm tired and lethargic and feeling extremely hormonal because I just had a baby. Those are perfectly common symptoms of new parenthood, right?'

'They are, but there's more to postpartum depression than just those symptoms.'

'Lanie-'

'Are you feeling guilty, and stressed?'

'Sure but-'

'Feeling inadequate, like you're the worst mother in the history of the world and afraid to be around your friends and family because we're judging how awful your parenting skills are and that we are gossiping about your ineffectiveness?'

As Alexis' eyes began to fill, Lanie knew she'd struck home very hard; with lightning quick reflexes she nipped the freshly burped Petra from her mother's hands and laid her in the crib. It wasn't a moment too soon, for once Lanie had done so, Alexis had buried her facei n her hands and was sobbing uncontrollably.


	14. Tomorrow Will Be Kinder III

Shane sat on the couch, his right leg shaking like a paint mixer, as he heard the muffled sounds of Alexis' crying. He hadn't heard her sob like that since Jim Harvey's funeral, and it was killing him inside that he could only sit here and listen to it. Part of him wanted to rip the nursery doors off and take Alexis and Petra away from all this pain but he knew that Lanie's quiet talking method was the far more productive - and saner - approach.

When the door did open, Lanie had Petra in her arms while Alexis walked out like a refugee of a hurricane, eyes glazed and red. She looked up at Shane and launched herself into his arms, tears pouring down her face once more.

'I'm so sorry,' she whispered against his shoulder, felt his strong steady hands come up and touch her hair. 'Shane, I'm so sorry.'

'This is not your fault, Lex, this isn't something you actively caused,' Shane told, but Alexis was shaking her head.

'What if I did? What if I brought this all on myself, that it's just my stupid ego thinking I'm the centre of attention, like I did with the wedding?'

'Alexis that wasn't ego, baby,' Lanie said gently, prodding her towards the couch so she could sit with her husband. 'That was us not realizing how bad things were getting for you because we only saw you being wonderful. We love you, and we've all had our ugly moments where we needed our friends to see we're very vulnerable human beings.'

'I'm not allowed to be that way,' Alexis murmured, threading her fingers with Shane's. 'I'm Alexis, I'm supposed to be perfect.'

'Lex-'

'Shane, let her talk,' Lanie advised him, then stood up to make tea.

'I have the potential to be a great mom, Shane, I know I do and I'm so terrified that the moment I make a mistake or something happens to Petra everyone will look at me and go, well of course that was bound to happen.'

'They won't...' Shane cut himself off, switched tactics. 'What kind of thing?'

'Like having the baby's diaper come loose and crap ends up every, literally, or I can't tell the difference between sunburn and scarlet fever, or what if she has an allergy and I feed her something that makes her sick?'

'Okay, okay.'

'I'm the mom, I'm supposed to know all of those things and I don't know them at all,' Alexis wept, shaking her head; on anyone else it could have been melodramatic, even attention seeking but this was Alexis and both Shane and Lanie knew how truly awful Alexis must be feeling if this was the only way she could think to express herself.

'I think you know more than you give yourself credit for,' Shane murmured to her. 'It's also why we have doctors that specialize in looking after our babies.'

'Lex, you are already off to a great start.' Lanie back as the kettle boiled away on the stove, sat on the table so she could put a supportive hand on her friend's knee. 'I saw the little charts and journal book in the nursery to keep track of her sleep and eating habits. That's a great plan if you feel scared.'

'You guys never had to do that,' Alexis sniffled, and Lanie burst out laughing.

'Alexis, sweetie, none of us knew what we were doing. At all. Do you know how many times I needed to read _First Steps_ just to remind myself that Carey was doing exactly what he was supposed to do? And what kind of freak out do you think I had when I saw he had mismatched eyes, especially after I'd had that fall?'

Alexis hadn't thought of that, shook her head. 'It wasn't your fault Lanie.'

'Exactly. That was just Carey's DNA, just like Dell having diabetes or Max having eye sight issues. None of us were prepared to figure out how to comfort our kids about that, we had to make it up as we went along by going with our guts. They are called maternal instincts for a reason.'

'How do I know mine are good enough?'

'Because you love your baby, and Petra loves you back, and you are good enough for her.'

Alexis gave a little sob, pressed the back of her hand to her lips as she broke down again. 'Shane,' she said, leaning against his shoulder, 'next week is Petra's two-month check-up, and I wanna talk to Doctor Bishop. I want to fix this, I want to enjoy being with my baby and not worrying about my family judging me.'

'I'm sure he'd know of some good counselors, and you know our family will be there to support you and me-'

'No.' Alexis sat up ramrod straight. 'No, they can't know about this.'

'Yes, Alexis, they can,' Lanie told her in her quietly maternal tone. 'They will want to help you.'

'By telling me what to do.'

'No, by telling you their own stories of how they went through the same feelings.' She reached over, clasped Alexis' hand tight. 'You're not losing your mind trying to be the best, you're just trying to be super mom.'

'Thanks Lanie.' Alexis blew out a breath, saying nothing when Lanie went to attend the whistling tea kettle; she sat with Shane quietly until Lanie brought back the pot of Earl Grey and three cups. 'I don't know what to do from here.'

'Cuddling your daughter might help.'

'Yeah. Yeah, it would.'

Shane kissed his wife, then stood up to bring Petra out to her mother. When Alexis saw her little girl in her adorable green and white onsie, fingers wiggling like she was going to play the piano, she felt her heart lighten for the first time since waking that morning. She held out her arms, and as Petra smiled at her she knew however dark this moment was, she would get through it.


	15. Three Little Birds: 8 Weeks

'Dad, why did you order like five pizzas? It's Thursday'

Ryan hung up his cellphone, turned to his son who was finishing his math homework at the kitchen table. Most twelve-year-old boys would have been glued to their video games by this time but Dell wanted his whole evening free and he'd only had a little math homework to do, he said, so he wanted it out of the way. If only he did that about his laundry, Ryan thought, stuffing his phone in his pocket.

'Alexis and Shane are coming over for dinner tonight,' he told Dell, saw him perk up like a sunflower.

'With the baby? She is so cute, I can't wait to hold her and play with her.'

'Good, because we'll have some grown-up things to talk about with Alexis and Shane.'

'Dad, I'll be in high school next year,' Dell reminded him pointedly, a fact which both thrilled and terrified him. 'You can tell me.'

'Alright, Mister Big Shot,' Ryan replied, calling his son's bluff. 'We are talking about something called postpartum depression.'

'Oh, no!' Dell's marble-blue eyes went wide and round. 'Dude, that is hard stuff, is Alexis putting Petra in danger?'

'How do you know about PPD?'

'Dad, it's called health class,' he said in a 'well duh' tone. 'We learned how once women give birth they get freaked out and are sometimes scared of being moms because they think they're gonna hurt their baby.'

'Well that's part of it. Alexis is feeling scared that she might disappoint us as she learns about being a mom.'

'Oh, well that's just crazy. She's awesome, everyone knows that.'

'But Alexis needs to know it for herself,' Ryan pointed out, 'and sometimes that means talking to a counselor.'

'Oh, okay.' Dell gave an affable shrug. 'That's why they're there, right? Alexis even does that herself, she talks to criminal kids so they grow up to be cool not-criminals.'

'Put your books away, and tell your sister to tidy up, because our guests are here.' Ryan ruffled his son's hair, earning an indignant squawk for his troubles as he pressed the intercom button and let the Weaver family into the building. 'Jenny, they're here!'

'Okay!'

Ryan got a quick treat when he saw Honey-Milk sprint from the bathroom across the hall to their bedroom in her robe, hair dripping wet from her post-shift shower, before turning to open the door for their guests. He offered them a bright smile, holding out a hand to help Alexis with the pram. 'Hey guys, how's it going?'

'Better,' Shane replied honestly. 'Talking to Lanie last weekend helped, and we have a doctor's appointment tomorrow so we'll be getting some names for Alexis and for new parents' counseling.'

'Good, I'm glad to hear you guys being so pro-active about it.' Ryan pulled Alexis in for a tight hug, then in a very paternal move, held her face gently in his palms. 'We love you, and you are an amazing mom already Alexis. None of us think you suck.'

'Oh, don't do that, I might cry again and I did enough last weekend,' Alexis laughed, returning his warm embrace, then felt her smile widen when she saw Honey-Milk coming out with a similar expression on her face.

'Hey girl.' Honey-Milk held Alexis close, patting her back. 'It's nothing to be ashamed of sweetie, we've all had our moments of going through the ringer as parents. Ryan and I went through to a support group after we found out that Dell was diabetic , after he'd been in the hospital when he was just a baby.'

'Hell, some of our friends have been through serious therapy for major issues outside of kids,' Ryan added. 'Like Meredeth, or your mom, Lili and Cam and Gil-'

'Gil?' That one had Alexis blinking in surprise. 'For what?'

'If you think a man can handle finding out he's infertile when his wife is pregnant, and that leads to the revelation she was cheating on him with no consequences, guess again.'

'Mama!'

The moment was broken up when the ever-effervescent Mallory came bounding into the room, all smiles. She immediately honed in on Alexis, wrapping her arms tight around the woman's thighs.

'Dell says you have post-it-parts depression, and I'm here to tell you that you are a great mama and if you feel sad we're here to remind you how cool you are,' she said in her patent bubbly style. 'And besides tonight is pizza night and no one can be sad with pizza.'

'It is very difficult,' Shane agreed, and Malory's eyes went brigth when she saw the baby in his arms.

'Ooo, Shane is she sleeping, can I say hi?'

'Sure.'

Shane moved his arms to cradle Petra so Mallory could see her face, and was touched when the little girl kissed her forehead gently.

'I bet if you could talk,' she whispered, 'you'd tell your mama how much you love her too.'

'Okay, Mally, that's enough for now,' Ryan told his daughter, and she thankfully backed off instead of digging in her heels. 'Go tell your brother our guests are here.'

There was no need - Dell appeared that very moment, papers of some kind in hand. 'Hi guys! Here, I found this for you online.'

He thrust the papers at Alexis while Shane continued to hold Petra while reading over his wife's shoulder. 'Five Signs You Are a Great New Parent?'

'Uh-huh.' He tapped the papers importantly. 'From baby-center-dot-com, they know a lot about babies.'

'Thanks pal. Wanna come hold the baby so I can take my jacket off?'

Dell's face lit up like a birthday candle and he held out his arms for Petra. 'Come on, sweetie,' he crooned. 'Cousin Dell is right here.'

'So...' Honey-Milk looked at Alexis with a loving grin. 'Still feeling judged and screwed up?'

'Not as much, no. When does the pizza get here?'


	16. Up: 8 Weeks 1 Day

'Don't be nervous baby, nothing bad is gonna happen.'

'Are you talking to Petra or me?'

'Both of you, I know how important the check-ups are today for both of you.'

Alexis made kissy faces at Petra who was resting against her shoulder and wobbling around as she began to learn the boundaries of her own strength. 'Well we can't have Petra or Mumum feeling bad, now can we? No we can't.'

Shane smiled at Alexis nervously as they sat in the waiting room of Doctor Cook's pediatric offices across the street from Saint Vincent's. The space was welcoming and friendly, designed to make children feel a little less scared of the possibility of medicine.

He was so glad to see Alexis back to herself she'd been when they'd first brought Petra home. His thinking wasn't so black-and-white that he'd say Alexis at her low point the previous week wasn't his wife. All of what she was feeling made Alexis who she was, determined and prideful and stubborn, and most importantly she set high standards for herself, sometimes impossibly high which inadvertently set her up for failure.

Rather than dwelling on the negative of it, as that would do no-one any good, he leaned over and kissed Petra's cheek. His heart melted into a sunny puddle of love when she smiled at him. 'Please, please, please don't hate me for your booster shots today.'

'Of course not, Papa, I'm just going to be scared because it hurts a little and I'm so tiny I don't know what's going on,' Alexis replied on Petra's behalf before giving her a little kiss herself. 'Dont worry my precious gem, you'll be just fine.'

'Petra Weaver!'

Loudon, the faithful nurse who was Cook's right-hand man, called the name of the next patient then ushered them into the sea-creatures room, which had all manner of animals espousing healthy-lifestyle choices, like drinking milk and playing lots to stay active and healthy. Alexis gently laid Petra onto the exam bed, removing her little jeans and sweater as per Loudon's instructions. 'Yea I know it's a little cold isn't it sweetie-pie, but Doctor Cook is gonna have a look over you, and then the scary part and then you'll be all done.'

Petra responded with a cheerful 'blb' and went straight for her toes, going so far as to try and stuff the left ones in her mouth. 'Oh, sweetie, I doubt those taste good. Here.'

Alexis opened the baby bag, found the grape-flavoured pacifier which Petra couldn't live without. The baby was happily sucking away when Cook came in with Petra's birth files in hand.

'Good morning family, how is our little rock-star today?'

'She's good,' Shane replied as Cook began the exam. 'She eats regularly from Alexis and bottled breast milk, and she is filling her diapers on a regular basis, although she wets more than she poops.'

'Not common but not something to red flag,' Cook replied, running her stethoscope over Petra's tummy. 'She cries good and strong?'

'Not often but when she does there is no mistaking she's letting us know what the deal is,' Alexis replied. She was glad she could sit in the chair by the bed and let Petra hold onto her finger. 'She likes this,' she added, wiggling her index finger.

'That's good, she has a good strong grip.' The doctor checked over her joints, flipped Petra to her tummy to check the development of her neck and back muscles. 'I think she's ready in a week or so to begin tummy time. Twenty minutes once a day, usually in the evenings is better.'

'Cool.'

'I'm noticing too she has a tendancy to use her left side as her dominant side, which probably means she will be left-handed like you Alexi,' Cook continued. 'My advice on that is if she does favour that side for self soothing, and later feeding and picking things up, don't try to correct her as it is confusing to the way her brain has developed her sense of order.'

'Okay.'

'So, I'm going to have Loudon come in and do that boosters, and we're also going to draw a small blood sample as well, so that we can screen for anything like allergies or immune deficiencies so we can avoid any nasty surprises.'

'Good plan,' Shane said, then looked at Alexis who was clearly trying to brace herself for the impact of Petra sniffling when she received her shots. 'It'll be fine Mumum.'

'I know, I know, but she's my baby. I gotta protect her.'

'I know the feeling,' he replied, then looked over when Loudon came in and suddenly felt his inner tough guy come out. He wanted to pin the guy to the wall and inform him that he wasn't about to use those instrument of torture on his child. He doubted Petra or Alexis would approve so instead he stuffed hands threatening to clench into fists into his pockets. He watched as Alexis leaned close, murmuring to Petra it would be done soon and then they would go for a treat. He held his breath as Loudon administered the booster, waiting for the little one's confused cries to fill his ears but there was nothing.

'Should we be worried?' Shane asked, unsure if this was a good or bad thing.

'Sometimes infants have a delayed reaction, like when they hear their parents' voices or their Tylenol wears off. This one, however, might cause some complaining.'

Loudon used the longer needle on Petra to quickly prick the heel of her foot, had the small bead of blood well up for him to collect on the slide. As predicted, it had Petra' face buckling into little whimpers that quickly subsided when she heard Alexis' soothing voice; when he was gone, Shane rushed over and all but smothered Petra in kisses.

'It's okay, my love, Papa's here, nothing bad is gonna happen now.'


	17. I'm Yours: 10 Weeks, 1 Day

The first thing Shane felt when he woke on his birthday was tiny little fingers poking at his chest. Peeling open an eye, he saw Petra was laying in bed beside him, tucked onto her side just like him.

'Hey little princess, how'd you get in here? Did Mumum want us to have some birthday cuddle time?'

'Blb-blb.'

'Oh, I see, she has a surprise waiting for us out in the kitchen? Let's go see what it is.'

Shane scooped up his little girl into his arms, gave her painfully cute orange onsie a gentle tug. 'Ooo, can you smell that? That smells like Mumum made us a great big feast.'

His nose didn't steer him wrong - Alexis was in the kitchen at the stove whipping up a storm of food. There were hash-browns and bacon already, and if his eyes didn't deceive him she was hard at work making pancakes. 'Who's that pretty lady? Is that Mumum?'

'Blb!'

Alexis looked over her shoulder, grinned. 'Hello birthday boy, you spending time with your favourite redhead?'

'You're both my favourite redheads, although Cristina Hendricks is pretty smoking hot too,' Shane laughed as he came over to give Alexis a kis; he made a happy little 'mmm' noise when Alexis kept him close, traced her tongue over his lips. 'Hey, well happy birthday me.'

'You betcha.'

'Petra, cover your ears sweetheart.' Shane grinned foolishly as he mimed covering the baby's ears with his palm. 'You sure you feel up for that?'

'Yeah, I am. I've been feeling really good since I started with Doctor Ferguson and she said that part of me feeling good about myself as a mother starts with feeling good as a whole person. Part of that is making love with my husband and I figured tonight being a special occasion and all...'

Alexis trailed off, gave him another kiss. 'You and I get to have our own play-date.'

'I like play-dates.'

'Especially with...costumes?'

'Costumes? Like princess and the pirate?' Shane's eyes brightened eagerly. 'Or maybe mermaid and the sailor?'

'You know, ever since our honeymoon I've never watched _The Little Mermaid_ the same way,' Alexis laughed, then gently turned around to turn off the pan on the stove. 'I was think more like you're the fashion photographer and I'm the new model for the Agent Provocateur campaign.'

'Oh, nice. Here, Petra, in you go.' Shane buckled his daughter into her high-chair, waited until Alexis had no pans or plates in her hands before he spun her around boosted her up by the ass so her legs locked around his hips. 'How long do I have to wait to unwrap you.'

'Shane,' Alexis laughed, scooted back so she was sitting on the counter, legs still around his waist. 'We do have some actually Petra-friendly presents to do right now, then we are having dinner with the family, then tonight we are coming back here and getting...very...loud.'

'Oh, doctor hurt me.' He pressed a hand to his heart, miming a coronary, then backed up so she could slip down to her feet. 'You know how much I love you?'

'About as much as I love you.'

'Nope, more.'

'Nope more,' she mimicked, wrinkling her nose in a way that made Shane feel lighter than air in his heart. 'Come on, let's eat.'

So saying, Shane took a seat at his spot at the dinner table, and leaned over to make cutesy noises at Petra, who burbled and smiled like an angel as Alexis brought over the breakfast stuff, including one of Shane's favourite treats - a strawberry blintz from Love on a Bun. This one had a birthday candle in the middle; when Shane glanced up he saw Alexis was filming him on her iPhone as she hummed Happy Birthday for him.

'Make a wish,' she told him.

'Well I've got the cool job, the hot wife and beautiful child, famous inlaws, a sweet car. What's left to wish for?'

'That you still have all of that twenty years from now?'

'Nah, I know that's true. How about a quickie while Petra has her nap?' When Alexis scoffed and swatted his shoulder, he gave her a goose making her giggle and drawing Petra's attention in the form of a wide-eyed stare. 'Alright, alright I think I got one.'

He leaned over, blew out the candle, and grinned. 'But if I tell you, it won't come true.'

'Fair enough. So, do you want my gift or Petra's first?'

'Petra's smaller so she goes first, of course. RJ would know and that kid would have my head on a stick,' Shane laughed, setting aside the card - he'd read that later, as he was a sucker for cards and didn't want to make his child cry. Inside the gift bag he found something he'd been after for ages. 'Oh my god, this is wonderful, Petra!'

'What did she get you?' Alexis asked, truly feeling like a mom as she video him opening the parcel.

'It's a new Audiovox ear-clip. My other one is almost toast and Papa most-definitely needs this when he's back to work on Monday. Thank you sunshine.'

He gave her a kiss that made her little dimples wink, then reached for the one from Alexis. He gave it a shake. 'Is it the lingerie you'll wear tonight?'

'Nice try.'

'Okay I'll behave.' Shane tore into the present, lifted the lid - and thought his eyes were going pop out of his head. 'Alexis, where the hell did you find this?'

'My dad's tailor owed him a favour, he hooked me up.'

Shane lifted the black felt bomber's jacket out of the box, stroked the red stitching that read 'Mr Plow' on the back. It was perfect, right down to the woman who loved him so much to think of getting this for him. 'Alexis if this is the family friendly gift, you're getting a very x-rated thank-you from me later.'


	18. Birthday Treats

'Shane, do you feel funny having a birthday now that you are a papa?'

Jojo looked up from where she was playing cards with RJ, all the while keeping a weather eye on her niece who was lying on her play-mat with Castle stretched out beside her.

'Nah, it's really cool,' he said with a grin, winking at the young girl. 'It means I get more presents.'

'That's greedy,' RJ said without looking up from his hand. 'Jojo, put your cards down now.'

'Okay!' Jojo put them all on the table, then began to type in the numbers on her little calculator. 'Oh man, I got one-nine!'

'That's nineteen, Jojo, and that's okay. That means you might still win!'

'Oh yeah!'

'RJ, are you teaching your little sister blackjack?' Shane asked incredulously. 'She's four!'

'No, it's called twenty one. I'm helping Jojo with her numbers, now that she is in junior kindergarten,' RJ explained, then looked up as Alexis came over to sit with Shane. 'Tell him, Lex.'

'Oh, yeah, Dad taught them how to play twenty one to practice their addition.' She gave Shane's arm a squeeze, cuddled close. 'I learned how to multiply by playing cribbage.'

Shane felt the tips of his wife's fingers running up and down his arms, squirmed a little; he knew what was on her mind.. He turned to her, murmuring in her ear,' You feeling alright?'

'Mm-hmm, just..a little tired,' she whispered back with a smile. 'How much longer do you wanna hang here?'

'We're not running off just so we can-'

'Shane, whispering in front of people is rude,' Jojo chirped as she gathered up the cards, pinning her brother-in-law with a look.

'Sorry, bumblebee, just asking Alexis about a surprise she has for later.'

'Ice cream?' RJ asked. 'Alexis always likes to surprise you with ice cream.'

'There might be ice cream involved.'

Alexis' tone was so sweet and light that Shane nearly had a coughing fit as he dreamed up fizzy misty visions of Alexis in black silk lingerie and very slowly licking a spoon of cold white cream. Instead he took a breath, looked at Beckett coming over with a tray of coffee cups and the silver pot that meant hot chocolate for the little kids.

'Thanks again for the spread tonight, it was nice to have a birthday party that I can remember for once.'

'Did you have to much champagne?' RJ asked innocently. 'Dad had that happen once or twice.'

'Okay, surprise gift time.' Castle turned the conversation out of that dark and dangerous forest, reached for the envelope on the coffee tray, passed it to Shane. 'Kate and I figured you could use this given you have a new little one at home.'

Shane took the envelope, though what his parents-in-law could give him beyond tickets to see Silver Bullet with his wife at Madison Square was a bit of a mystery. He discreetly tore the paper, scanned it, then looked at Alexis. 'It's a night at the Plaza.'

'What?'

'For tonight, look.' Shane showed her the booking slip, saw her eyes go wide. 'I have no idea what to say.'

'You guys have been through a lot in the first few months of being parents,' Becket explained with a smile, 'and I remember Dave did something like this for Lanie after Finn was born, they had just a night away for themselves to be with each other. So happy birthday Shane.'

'But what about Petra?'

'We'll look after her here tonight,' Beckett reassured her. 'We'll drive to your place after we take you to the hotel, get what she needs.'

'I...I don't know what to say,' Shane stammered, sincerely floored Castle and Beckett would do this for them. They clearly meant to give them the time alone to make love without the possibility of being interrupted by the baby, which seemed more than a little weird. Then again, both Castle and Beckett obviously knew they had that kind of relationship given that they were married and had a newborn. Rather than dwelling on the potential ickiness of it, Shane rose to give Castle and Beckett each hugs. 'Thanks just doesn't seem to cut it.'

'Trust me, it will do just fine in a few hours from now.'

* * *

After a slightly tearful but short goodbye to their daughter Shane and Alexis made their way to the Plaza where they were all but treated like royalty, a feeling which didn't go away when they saw their room - suite, really. There was a parlour with a gas fireplace and kitchen that held a full stocked fridge of fruit and cheese, champagne, ginger-ale, cider, and other tasty snacks Shane knew had been put in there at Castle's request.

In the bedroom was an ocean of a bed, more champagne along with a bouquet of tulips which happened to be both Shane and Alexis' favourite flowers and tonnes of candles on the tables and sideboards nearby.

'They thought of everything,' Shane murmured, setting down his hastily packed overnight bag, taking Alexis' for her as well. 'There is only one other time I can think of when my birthday was even better.'

'Oh?'

'Yeah.' Shane took Alexis in his arms, gave her a tender yet smouldering kiss. 'The first birthday I had with you.'

She giggled, hummed a little. 'Wait until you see what it is in this bag, then you'll really lose your mind.'

She held up her overnight tote, disappeared into the bathroom to change. The moment the door shut behind her, Shane whipped off his jumper, shimmed out of his jeans so he was in his birthday boxers - the blue silk ones covered in exploding fireworks - while he popped open the bottle of bubbly.

'Shane you ready for this?'

'Yes, I am.' Shane flopped on his side in what he thought of as the Burt Reynolds pose, holding two glasses of champagne, then felt all his blood drain into his lap when Alexis stepped out of the washroom. 'Well happy birthday me.'


	19. Big People Play-Date

'You like it?'

It was a ridiculous question, as Alexis only had to look at her husband's expression to know he did. He'd always loved her in pearl-grey, saying it made her hair look like fire above smoke, or sunrise over misty moors. She'd gone for sheer and delicate, hoping it would off-set the post-baby curves she still had. Alexis didn't mind it so much in that she was still rocking a Playmate-esque rack but she still felt thick around the middle, and the empire cut of the flyaway babydoll gave her that little extra oomph in her own ego. She'd skipped the panties, a favourite of his and one she hadn't gotten to indulge in about ten months, and her toes were pearl grey as well.

She felt that liquid pull she always felt whenever Shane gave her that look. Eight years together and still he made her feel like the sexiest woman in the world. Slowly, she padded over to him in her bare feet, thinking she would kneel on the bed; she was halfway there when Shane suddenly popped up like a jack in the box, champagne sloshing to the rim of the glass he held out to her.

'Here. Drink this,' he all but breathed to her. 'You'll wanna be a little drunk for what I have in mind for that body.'

'This body, seriously?'

'Yeah, I do.'

Alexis took the flute of bubbly, kept her eyes on him as she drained her glass. A little river of champagne threatened to run on her lip, so she licked it off, slowly, deliberately. 'Well, that's a good start.'

Shane wanted to take her right then and there but it had been nearly three months since they'd been intimate and he knew she needed his love more than his lust at the moment. Instead he kissed her gently at first, then felt her deepen it, parting his lips with her tongue.

'Lex,' he murmured against her mouth, 'we've got the whole night.'

'I know, I know, it's just...' Alexis trailed off, eyes suddenly filling up. 'Oh dammit.'

'Hey, if this is too much pressure-'

'No, no, I want to make love with you, Shane, I do. I think it just kind of hit me.'

'Okay. Let's try this.'

Shane toyed with the tied ribbon between her breasts, slipped it loose. He saw her eyes darken as he slipped the silky fabric off her body so she was naked in front of him, and he stroked his fingertips over her skin. She closed her eyes, let her head fall back. 'You like that, my love,' he asked her quietly, and when she replied with a sweet little 'uh-huh', Shane pressed a kiss to the smooth column of her throat before trailing a line down to her shoulder.

'Shane, we better lay down because I don't think I can stand up anymore.' Her voice was light, sweet, almost innocent, but Alexis knew as she felt Shane's steady sure hands on her heating body that this would be anything but. She gave a happy little 'oh!' when she felt him get naked. 'Do we need- I mean, should we use a condom?'

'No.' He shook his head. 'I want this just to be you and me tonight.'

'Okay. Here.'

Shane plumped the pillows up behind Alexis' shoulders, touched her face. 'My beautiful queen. What do you want?'

As he asked the question, his hands drifted up to cup her breasts,thumbs rolling over her nipples. He knew they were tender from nursing, so he took his time making the arousal sweet and soft. He felt her legs shift, hips arching back to cradle him even though he was still wearing his boxers. Somehow, that made it even hotter for him when he felt the dampness between her thighs, making him moan lwoly.

Alexis heard the sound and responded with a sultry smile. 'Shane, I want your tongue between my thighs,' she purred at him. 'If you want to.'

Shane could only nod - the angle that she was sitting at, half reclined against the pillows meant the angle would feel great for her. Moving down her body, pausing to give her breasts a quick caress each with his tongue, he wasted no time in feasting upon her, the taste and scent of her like being welcomed home. He felt her muscles clench as he add one finger, then tow, until she was all but sobbing his name as she came.

When she was still lost in the throes of it, Shane reared back, to strip away his boxers; the moment he was naked he lifted Alexis hips and plunged into her, making her gasp in delight. A small sliver of himself was telling him it was too fast, too hard, but when Alexis moaned for more, for him to go deeper, be harder, it was more than easy to turn that part off.

Alexis felt every nerve in her body go loose, then tight as the delicious friction built up and up and up until her body was all but exploding with light. She caught Shane's earlobe in her teeth as her hips pumps furiously against his until her whole body arched, and stiffened taught as an arrow pulled in a bow. She felt Shane shudder, heard him moan her name once before he collapsed on top of her in a sweaty, delighted tangle.

'Oh Shane.' Alexis limply moved her arms and legs, pressed her palm against the back of his neck. 'Oh, my god, baby, that was just perfect.'

'Yullik.'

'Huh?'

Shane, who'd been lying prone against her, words muffled by still being fastened to her neck, lifted his head and gave her breast a little rub. 'You leaked,' he repeated. 'Was not expecting that one.'

'It's the hormones from the orgasm. But you know what this means, don't you?'

Shane twisted a lock of his wife's beautiful red hair around his index finger. 'Jacuzzi time?'

'Then a snack. I have a feeling we'll need to keep our energy up.'


	20. Back in Black: 10 Weeks, 4 Days

On Shane's first day back to work, it also coincided with Alexis' one-on-one appointment with her therapist. How funny was that, he thought. She was an MD who treated some of the city's biggest hard-asses under the age of sixteen, and she was in need of counseling because her two month old baby occasionally scared the hell out of her.

It was nice to be able to have a little laugh about it now, though a small part of Shane wondered if he should put off the welcome back beers the Ry-Sposito Monster insisted upon. It made him feel a little scuzzy to think that he'd be the guy to go swanning off while leaving the little woman at home with the baby, but he knew that if he didn't go said little woman would kick his ass into the middle of the following week for being such a sissy-pants.

As shift start was at six am today, it was perfect time when Petra woke around three for her snack. With a kiss on Alexis' shoulder, he slipped out of bed, and headed for the nursery where he found his little girl lying on her back grabbing at her toes. He'd figure it out that when Petra was doing so, it meant a fresh diaper was needed straight away. Once fixed up, Shane took Petra into the kitchen took her bottle from the fridge to warm it.

'Yeah, it's a big day today, my precious gem,' he told her, 'Papa's back to work today. I gotta go make the city a safer place for you by helping the police to catch all the bad guys.'

'Blb.'

'Yeah you'll be here with Mumum, you guys have some plans today I bet. She's got some reading to do, and she's going to talk to Bubbe and Opi on the computer for you to see.'

'Blb.'

Shane laughed as Petra wriggled lightly in his arms while he programmed the Keurig for coffee. 'Yeah, yeah, miss wormy-worm it's almost time for a snack. Hold your britches.'

When he got the bottle up to Petra's mouth, she latched on with such ferocity that Shane had to wince a little, thinking of Alexis. No wonder her nipples were sore if that was the multi-times a day treatment they got from their little angel.

'Easy killer,' he chuckled lowly, as he gently ran his fingertip under her lips so she wouldn't forget to breathe.

Cradling the still-snacking baby, Shane headed for the living room where he opened the laptop to read up on CNN's pre-dawn breaking news. By the time his coffee was ready, Petra had emptied her bottle and was yawning a little; as Shane rose to put her back to bed, Alexis appeared in her shorts and t-shirt, scratchign her head.

'Hey, baby, didn't hear you two get up.'

'Little miss was pretty quiet today, hungry as usual. Think she was sleeping-eating most of her bottle,' Shane replied on a whisper. 'You wanna hold her?'

'Yeah, I do. We're gonna cuddle in the big bed once you're off to work.'

Petra, smelling mother nearby, began to coo and creak, and Shane felt his heart go light when Alexis neatly scooped their daughter of his arms into hers, murmuring to her about little beauty queens needing their beauty rest. With a kiss for them both, he headed for the shower to get ready for the start of his day.

* * *

'Hey, look who's back!'

Shane looked up from the break-room fridge where he was stowing his lunch-kit to see Lanie in her scrubs with basgs under her pretty brown eyes. 'Hey Doctor Parrish-Robbins.'

'How's Alexis feeling?'

'A lot better. We've been going to group and one-on-one counseling with her therapist. Doctor Mulgrew is the best.'

'She's very maternal, she knows her stuff,' Lanie agreed. 'Heard you guys had your own little getaway night. That's great that you guys were able to do that. It really helped me when I was having some troubles after Finn. Dave and I made a weekend of it, and it was exactly what I needed.'

'Thanks, I think,' Shane laughed, closed the door. 'So what's Pearlmutter up to these days?'

'He's on leave himself, guest lecturing at Johns Hopkins, so guess who's the boss until he's back.' Lanie gave a wiggle of eyebrows, making Shane laugh even more.

'You're the deputy medical examiner, Lanie, that makes sense. How come you're here so early?'

'Worked a double so I could have Saturday off for Christmas tree hunting,' she replied. 'You and Alexis are coming with, right, you'll bring the baby?'

'We're coming but I don't know if Petra is coming or not.'

'As tricky as it might seem, the kids will have your heads on a plate if you deny them a chance to spend time with their baby.' Lanie walked him down the hall to his autopsy theatre. 'Finn wants to know about Christmas gifts, and Violet is asking if she can play for Petra in the dreidl game for Chanukkah.'

'Wow.' He shook his head. 'Those are some great kids.'

'So, go get changed into your scrubs, I've got a couple of fresh bodies needing your expertise. Or maybe...'

Lanie trailed off as her phone went off, and she read the message from dispatch. 'Nope, you are going out into the field my good man. East Fifty-First and Lexington. You'll see Adam and Watkins there.'

'Adam?'

'Yeah, didn't you hear the news?' Lanie cocked her head to the side, blinked innocently. 'Adam was promoted and he's taken on Watkins as his trainee to be a detective.'

'Wow.'

'Yeah, exams were last Wednesday and the official promotion ceremony is a week tomorrow. Oh and you might wanna take him a coffee. Zane's had the sniffles so his sleep has been way down.'

'Sure thing.' Shane nodded, winked at her. 'It's good to be back.'


	21. A Promise Made

'Look who's back!'

Adam gave Shane a grin as he moved into the boardroom of the offices of Zimmerman Pharmaceuticals where their new customers were waiting for their attention. 'How's it going, bro'

'Good, it feels weird to be back at work though,' he laughed. 'Last time I was on a scene like this it was sunny and golden outside. Now it's like almost Christmas time.'

'I understand what you mean,' Adam agreed, then looked over at Watkins who was red-cheeked above her scarf, her eyes slightly glassy. 'Hey, you feeling okay Watkins?'

'It's windy out when you're walking from the subway instead of riding in a cozy department issue vehicle,' Watkins snapped back, making Shane and Adam lift their eyebrows. She raised a hand, sighed. 'Sorry. Rough night.'

'Oh?'

'Yeah, the wife and I were both up with stomach issues. Either of you ever been to Spice Island?'

'How is that place still in business?' Shane wondered aloud.

'Beats the living hell outta me. Shall we deal with these unfortunate souls?'

'Sure. Terry Montaigne and Kelsey Latimer, according to the ID badges around their necks.' Shane gestured with his pen to the man who appeared to be merely slumped over on the floor, while the woman had fresh blood-stains on her slightly-wilting white shirt. 'They were found by the floor manager. Both are employed here for Tel-Com, they're a call centre on floors three through eight.'

'Not a terribly original name,' Adam said drily. 'Not the point right now though. What can you tell me about time of death?'

Shane got out his liver-temp thermometer, tested Kelsey first as she was closer to him. 'Kelsey was killed between twelve and one last night while Terry checked out around the same time.'

'So they were likely killed by the same person, possibly within minutes of each other,' Watkins theorized.

'Nothing is guaranteed, especially considering there are two apparent CODs.'

'Oh?' Adam arched an eyebrow.

'Yeah, Kelsey has a through-and-through gun shot, small caliber so likely a nine millimetre or a thirty-two. Her boy here, he has the classic sign of overdose and-or poisoning.'

'Alright.' Adam closed his eyes saw the scene take shape. 'Terry is working late, comes across someone in this office doing bad things, gets put out for the count. Kelsey, also working late comes across our mystery baddie and wonders what the hell is going on so she's shot with the gun brought just in case.'

'But then why go to the trouble of poisoning Terry?' Watkins inquired, looking around the room for signs of a struggle, evidence of files or a computer cracked open. 'Why not shoot him?'

'Perhaps he has something of value, like a computer password or knowledge of a system?'

'A human key,' Shane concurred. 'That's good enough reason to keep someone alive until they aren't useful anymore.'

'A third alternative is that Terry was shooting up and Kelsey startled him, he shot her without realizing what he was doing then OD'd of his own volition,' Adam went on, wheels turning away as he sized up the situation. 'Has CSU been in to photograph the body?'

'Not yet.'

'Once they do, transport him to your place. I wanna know why two young kids are dead when they don't need to be,' he replied. So serious was his expression that Shane nearly saluted him. 'Watkins, you take the first witness, I'm going to consult with CSU first.'

Watkins nodded, and the moment she was out of ear-range Adam grinned. 'Do I sound like David Caruso or what?'

'David Caruso was a tool, you are already lightyears ahead of him in the cool department,' Shane replied with a grin, dapping knuckle with him. 'You buy that about Watkins getting food poisoning?'

'Yeah, why?'

'Dunno, just looked a little like she might have morning sickness.'

'In case you didn't remember, Watkins has a wife who as far as I know isn't a transexual,' Adam replied, a little confused.

'Yeah, but there are other ways, you know, like the turkey baster method.'

'Tur- you're disgusting. You kiss Petra with that mouth?'

'After I wash it out. Speaking of which...' Shane rose from his crouched position to stretch his knees and his back. 'How much crap will the guys give me if I call Alexis to see how Petra is while I'm at work.'

'Depends on how often you call. Once or twice is sweet. Anything more and you'll take Kevin's worried-daddy-trophies away from him.'

* * *

When Shane did have his two bodies back to the morgue, he started on Terry first as he had the least obvious of the wounds. He flipped on his Audiovox to record his notes he'd condense into his official report, and plunged back into work.

He'd made it to removing the stomach and marking the contents for running by the lab-techs when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. 'Pause record. Answer voice-call. Hello?'

'Hey Doctor Weaver.'

'Hello yourself Doctor Weaver,' Shane laughed when he heard Alexis' voice. 'What's up, you miss me already?'

'Yeah,' she admitted with no shame or irony. 'Just wanted to tell you that Sloan and Jeremy invited me and Petra over for supper since you're heading out with the boys so don't call home later, call my cell.'

'Aw, thanks for the heads up. How's our precious gem?'

'Fascinated by her mobile and trying to stuff her hand in her mouth.'

'Sounds like a good time. I'll talk to you soon.'

'You too. Love you.'

'Love you both.'

The call disconnected but before Shane resumed his recording, he looked dolefully at Terry. 'Dude, I hate to break this to you, but right now you and me gotta make a deal. From here on out, my job is to make New York a safer place. If that means putting a friend of yours in jail, I'm okay with that. You got that?'

He waited a beat. 'Cool. Now let's take a look at your liver.'


	22. Mulling With Mulgrew: 11 Weeks, 3 Days

'Just have a seat, Doctor Weaver, the doctor will be right out for you.'

Alexis nodded, took out her tablet to read through the latest issue of the American Psychiatric Association's journal. An article she'd submitted shortly before going on her maternity leave was being published in this one and she couldn't wait to see the reviews. She became so absorbed by it she didn't hear the approaching footsteps, nor the admin call out her name Only when someone gave her a little nudge beside her did she look up, see the assistant waiting for her. Gathering up her things Alexis followed the woman down the hallway to the office.

Jeanette Mulgrew had the temperament of a well-loved grandmother and the patience of a Buddha. Specializing in pre- and post-natal family therapy had given her years of stories for her families while gaining the respect of many in her field. She looked up from the notes she was making to a file at her desk, smiled warmly when Alexis walked in. 'Alexis, good to see you looking so relaxed today.'

'Reading.' Alexis sheepishly held up her tablet. 'My article got published, the one about word-association therapies for reducing the recurrence percentage of delinquent activity.'

'Sounds exciting. Would you care for some tea?'

'Thank you that's great.'

Mulgrew went to her kettle, flipped the switch to boil water before sitting in her armchair across from Alexis. 'So, it's been about four weeks now since your panic attack. How are things going at home?'

'Much better,' Alexis replied honestly. 'I...I took your advice, told my family at Hallowe'en that I was in counseling. I needed to get through the first part on my own so that I wouldn't feel like they were watching me.'

'Watching you?'

'That feeling like I described in our first session, when I said I felt like I was constantly being judged for everything I was doing wrong. But,' Alexis held up her hand, using one of the mantras she'd learned from Mulgrew, 'they weren't judging they were just watching me become a mom.'

'Why do you feel like your family would judge you at all, Alexis? From what I've heard you say others in your family have faced much harder things

'Because...' Alexis trailed off, shook her head. 'I don't know. Ego?'

'How is it ego?'

'My whole life I've been the best. Top of my class, student leader, never partied too much, had a good relationship with my father. Went to university, then medical school and graduated with honours for both. Got married to a nice boy-'

'A man fifteen years older than you,' Mulgrew pointed out. 'He also wasn't your first sexual partner either. Wouldn't little miss perfect have lost her virginity on her wedding night?'

'Yeah, I suppose but that doesn't make you a prima donna or something,' Alexis countered, thinking of Lili and Cam.

'By your definition it does. By your own definitions you still see yourself as falling short even when you attain goals others could only dream of achieving. What do you make of that?'

Alexis said nothing for a moment, just focused on her fingers. 'I don't know,' she said in a small voice. 'That...I'm setting myself up to fail by having standards too high?'

'I suppose that's one way to see it, but I think the healthier way to look at it would be to realize that you are your own worst enemy.'

'I don't follow. I have a healthy ego, I'm smart-'

'Exactly,' Mulgrew said with the hint of a smile. 'You are very smart, a doctor who helps others. You have to learn quickly about people and you're someone who catches onto things very quickly. When you don't feel like you're getting it one hundred percent right the first time you try it, you see that as failure.'

Alexis thought back to her pharmacology classes in medical school, how much self-loathing she faced whenever that subject came around and everyone else just breezed through it. She'd still come away with top grades after ages of studying but the effort in it felt like she was tripling the workforce of everyone else.

Mulgrew saw her go quiet, a sure sign in introspection in this patient, made a note on her pad - _AW is beginning to bring down her walls. Continue on course of discussion - self-imposed judgement_. 'Alexis, I can assure you that you are not a failure. But you will become one is you continue to be so greedy.'

'Greedy?' At this, Alexis head snapped up.

'Yes, greedy. You are so hungry to be the best that you are forgetting the key part of the human experience is learning how to be the best. Instead of looking at your friends potentially offering to show you something an easier way as help, you see that as an insult. You have to remember something else key as well.'

'What's that?'

'The majority of the people you call your family aren't your family by blood or marriage. They are your family because of an emotional bond you share. There is no automatic obligation to you. You may feel there is because you and Shane have built your life together that way, but in a clinical sense you are not bound to each other by any legal tie. They are there for you because they _want_ to be there.'

'Lanie came over that morning, when I had my panic attack, she...she could have told Shane to go away, but she didn't see that as an option because we've made ourselves a family,' Alexis said slowly, feeling like a child working out a tough math problem. 'She wanted to help me, not because she had to, she wanted to help.'

'Exactly right,' Mulgrew said, underscoring a block-letter _yea!_ on her pad; her face remained placid as she did so. 'So, let's talk about something you can do to show your thanks for people who love you and want what's best for you.'


	23. All Night Long I: 12 Weeks, 2 Days

It was the night before the annual Christmas tree cutting and Alexis was feeling a little nervous as she watched Shane get ready for work - it would be her first overnight with Petra completely on her own since Shane had returned to work.

'I'm a phone-call away if you need me, babe,' Shane reminded her as he pulled on his jumper. He wasn't worried Alexis couldn't handle this, he was more worried about himself being away overnight since he was used to getting up and having that quiet time with one of his favourite redheads.

'Shane, it's okay. It's not like you're leaving our daughter with a mental case. I'm getting better. I _am_ better,' Alexis corrected herself with a small smile. 'I've still got some things to work through but I'm no longer feeling like my family thinks I'm completely incompetent as a parent, and I'm not judging myself nearly as harshly as I did before.'

'You'll always put pressure on yourself to be the best, that's just part of your intrinsic nature.' Shane laughed.

'Funny,' Alexis laughed; she kissed him, then headed for the nursery to find Petra waking from her afternoon nap. Without a moment's hesitation she zipped in, found Petra grabbing at her toes which made her grin. 'Hello my little acrobat! Hello, are you all refreshed from your snooze?'

'Blb.'

'Oh, yeah I know that feeling,' she giggled. 'It is fantastic to have a nice dream isn't it?'

'Blb-blb.'

Alexis lifted her out of her crib and over the the changing table where she refreshed her daughter's diaper; she tickled her daughter's tummy, making Petra burble merrily. It was such a different feeling now, knowing she didn't have to white knuckle her way through these precious moments. 'Ooh, later, before bedtime, it's going to be bathtime. We're gonna splash around, but right now we gotta say night-night to Papa, because he's off to work now.'

She fastened the onsie back on, then nestled the baby against her shoulder. Alexis breathed deep Petra's scent, wondered how on earth she could be so frightened by her precious little girl such a short time ago. They walked into the kitchen, all smiles for Shane, as he tucked his lunch into his tote-bag - they'd had a Mexican fiesta at the loft the night before and as usual there were oodles of leftovers which meant Shane didn't have to buy lunch tonight.

'Say, bye-bye Papa! Bye-bye! Go get those bad guys with the police and make our city a better place!' Alexis lifted Petra's wrist delicately to bob it in a mock-wave.'

'Blb!'

'Oh, what a smart girl you are, my precious gem! I gotta head out. No wild parties while I'm gone.'' Shane lifted her out of Alexis' arms for a kiss and a raspberry to the cheek that made Petra's dimples wink like diamonds. 'I will see you in the morning for our day of fun! It's our first Christmas tree-cutting with Petra! Love you both.'

'Love you too.'

Shane waved them good-bye, and after Alexis had chained the door, turned to grin at Petra. 'Alright, Papa's gone, now what are we going to do just for us girls?'

_Food_ was her first thought - she'd been asleep with Shane before he had to get up for his night shift while Petra had been napping too. There was leftover Mexican, but that would give her gas and she didn't want to risk farting and startling the baby. Petra was fine with sneezes but tummy rumbles confused the hell out of her when she cuddled close.

'Petra, what do you say we take a walk and visit Uncle Brody?'

'Blb!'

Twenty minutes later, Alexis and Petra were on their way down the street towards Love on a Bun; she'd texted ahead to make sure that Body was still there, which to her good luck he was. When she reached the bakery, she did the classic mom thing of walking in backwards so she could pull the pram through the door. The moment she was in, she felt Body's skinny arms wrap around her shoulders.

'Hello beautiful,' he told her, spinning her around to give her cheeks a kiss. 'How are you feeling?'

'Much better,' she replied, noting the worry in Body's pale grey eyes. 'Right now I'm hungry.'

'Then come on over, we'll hook you up.'

He stepped behind the counter as Alexis navigated through the tables with Petra's pram, gestured to the sandwich selections. 'Want a make your own? They're a two-for-one special today, and we've also got Cesar salad I can load you up with.'

'Awesome for both.'

'Fantastic. First step - filling?'

'Mmm, let's try a roast beef on French roll and a sweet-mustard turkey on rye.'

She made her sandwiches, accepting heaping sides of salad and fruit since according to Body it was going to wind up in the bin anyway so she might as well enjoy it, and the plain blintzes from the day as well that Shane could have for breakfast with her the next day. 'Body you spoil us,' she tried to protest, which he just waved off.

'Nothing too good for Petra's mama and daddy. Where's Shane tonight?'

'Working, and I wasn't in the mood too cook.'

'Blb!' Petra gave what could have passed for a protesting burble, making Alexis smile.

'Warming a bottle for you doesn't count, sweetie, since you could nurse if necessary.'

'Blb!'

'Oh, yeah, that's right!' Alexis checked her watch, collected the bags. 'We've got the latest episode of _Dallas, Lieutenant Eve _starting on HBO and I can't wait to see it!'

'It's called TiVo?'

'It's called watching while the baby nurses,' Alexis laughed.

'Fair enough. Have fun, girls!'

Body watched her go, and when she was clear of the cafe door, sent Shane a quick text. _Your redheads stopped in for a snack. Both look awesome._


	24. All Night Long II

'Okay my little gem, time to get your your night-time bottle and then into bed we go.'

Alexis finished fixing on Petra's fresh nappie, blew a raspberry on her tummy which made Petra squeal in delight. She loved funny noises except tummy rumbles from people holding her, Alexis mused, which she thought was a very odd thing, but then all babies had that as she'd learned from going with Lindsay to her mommy-and-me group for Zane.

She gave Petra another blast, which made her giggle again, then adjusted her sleeper. 'Let's go get you a snack.'

Alexis put the baby on her shoulder, wandered into the kitchen where she put the water on to float Petra's bottle. She had disavowed herself of the microwave while pregnant and was barely using it at all these days. She wondered if it would look a little too nuts to Shane to ask him if they should get rid of it since she barely used it but decided that could wait a few more weeks.

'What did you think of that episode of the show, my sweet?' Alexis asked Petra; the books said that talking to her in a normal voice as well as a gentle baby-talk one was good for her development. 'Do you think they will prove that mean lady had her husband killed? Or will Ava Anders get away with it and prove there is a perfect murder?'

'Ah!'

'I think you're right, I think Eve is smart enough to figure it out.'

When the water was ready, Alexis put the bottle in, continued to wander the kitchen and talk to her daughter, so grateful to have these moments where she felt so comfortable and relaxed. It just felt so blessedly normal to do this kind of thing, just hang out with her baby and not feel the choking pressure of those demons anymore.

Once the little one was asleep, she'd be rewatching that night's episode of her show, to catch any of the little details she might have missed while focusing on her daughter. Maybe she'd read the latest details on the production of _And Then There Were None_ - the production had been thrown into chaos by the sudden family emergency one of its main stars Tommy Keane had had to deal with.

Being that Alexis had an inside track to this particular tale, she knew exactly what the family emergency was, that Sascha was the only surviving victim of the craziest bitch her friends had ever tracked down, Kali Wenthram. As Kali was currently in an unknown location under constant supervision like Hannibal Lecter or Paul Bernardo, Alexis hoped that meant filming would finally resume and they would be able to get the film finished for a screening at the next Toronto International Film Festival. Meredeth was the expert on such things, especially given that an old friend of hers from university was the principle editor for the picture; she and Alexis really wanted to see this be a success.

The timer went on the microwave, telling Alexis Petra's bottle was ready, so they Weaver girls settled themselves onto the couch but rather than turning on the TV again, Alexis put on some classic music on her laptop - Petra always seemed to sleep better when she had the little bit of music in the background. Like mother, like daughter, she thought proudly.

'This piano music is by a Polish gentleman named Frederic Chopin,' she told Petra in a soft, comforting tone. 'He came from a little village in Poland but he moved to Paris when he was big enough, kinda like how I went to Cambridge for university. I can appreciate now why my mumum and papa were nervous about me going so far away. I don't even like it when I have to go to the doctor's office without you, nevermind going around the world.'

Petra sighed happily as she sucked down her bottle, big blue eyes fixed on Alexis face as if she were waiting for more of the story, which made Alexis laugh a little. 'Okay, back to Monsieur Chopin. He was a great pianist and this piece, it's called Nocturne in E Minor. I know it's a little goofy name but they didn't get very creative until Mister Gustav Holst came along. That's the music we listened to last night, the Venus movement of his Planet symphony. I liked to listen to that in the background while I was studying in school. Made me feel smarter, and- oops, interrupted again!'

Alexis reached for the landline, smiled when she saw OCME come up on the display screen. 'Hello, you.'

'Hey, how are my favourite girls?'

'Well, Petra is having a bedtime snack and I'm thinking about having tea and the other sandwich I got for supper.'

'Did you order in?'

'Nah, Petra and I took a walk and said hello to Uncle Body.' Alexis shifted slightly so she could cradle the received between shoulder and ear. How's the night-shift going?'

'Good, slow. I caught a fresh body about an hour into shift, so don't be surprised if Ryan and Esposito are a little tweaked on coffee tomorrow during our family outing.'

'Which reminds me. I think I'm going to take Meredeth up on her offer.'

'Her offer?' Shane's tone was a little confused.

'She said that her mother-in-law isn't at the bakery tomorrow and wants to help Meredeth get food ready for all of us tomorrow so she offered that Zane and Petra can stay at the Esposito castle while we're out and know the babies are with a trusted and beloved member of the family.'

'Yes,' Shane replied without a moment's hesitation. 'Our little gem is too little just yet for ousie activities like that. I don't wanna spend the whole time worrying whether or not she'll be hurt. Next year she will be way more fun since she can walk and talk. Listen I gotta back but I'll see you in the morning.'

'Okay. Love you.'


	25. Thinking Of You

'Alexis?'

'Yes Max.'

'I have a question for you.'

Alexis looked down at Max, whose bright blue eyes were slightly hidden by the fleck of freshly falling snow on his glasses. It was a great day for tree-cutting, neither freezing nor damp and bright with just a light dust of snow blowing around. He adjusted his glasses, blinked once. 'Is Petra sleeping all the way through the night like a big girl yet?'

'No, sweetie, she still wakes up so she can have her snack but she always wakes up at the same time,' Alexis replied. 'Why do you ask?'

'Because I heard Heddie asking when she is big enough to have a sleep-over night.'

'Oh, I see.'

'Girls like doing that, don't they?' Max further asked, slipping his gloved-hand into Alexis' as she escorted him towards the horse-and-wagon loading area. 'They like getting all loud and laughing with their other friends who are girls.'

'They do,' Alexis agreed. 'I know Jojo likes spending time with Trini and Heddie and Violet.'

'Boys are different,' he decided. 'But that's fun, because otherwise we'd be like the Borts.'

'The who?'

'The Borts, the robots on this show that Violet's daddy likes. He says they look kinda human but they're like robots and they all think the same thing at the same time.'

'Oh the Borg,' Alexis laughed, remembering that Dave was a Trekkie. 'Yeah, everyone all the same is very uncool. And besides, who would decide what's best? We wouldn't go to a big tree farm like this for our tree.'

'That's right!' Max exclaimed, then looked up at Shane who had joined them, took the ME's hand. 'Mama likes dog-fur which makes sense since we have Tortuga at home.'

'Douglas Fir,' Shane chuckled lightly to correct the boy. 'That's the kind we are getting too, I think. They have short needles which is good for our Chanukah surprise.'

'Chanukah surprise? What's the surprise?'

'If I tell you it's not a surprise.'

Max scrunched up his face, shook his head. 'No fair. Mama!' he hollered over at Meredeth, who was attending to the twins and making sure they spilled no hot chocolate on their new ski coats. 'Make Shane share his surprise!'

'Max Power, if he shares it won't be a surprise,' she called back.

'Sheesh, it- oh oh oh! Look the horsies are coming!'

Insult over the surprise forgotten, Max saw the wagon coming with the Parrish-Robbinses and the Ryans plus Tessi with their trees. He always felt a little funny whenever he saw his sister with Dell - that wasn't right, she had to be protected from boys. 'Alexis, Petra is never ever allowed to have a friend like Dell,' he informed her importantly, looking at the junior-sized lovebirds.

'Oh, why not?'

'Because boys are yucky. I'm a boy, I know,' he said with such confidence that Shane had to laugh.

'Max, are you offering to look out for Petra when she has boyfriends?'

'Oh yes, Shane. She isn't allowed to be all...' Max trailed off, made an indistinguishable noise that had Shane and Alexis laughing.

'Max, you are hilarious.'

'How come Petra didn't come today?'

'Because she is too small and we wanted to be able to get a great tree without worrying if Petra is cold or tired or anything like that. Plus when she comes with us next year, she will be big enough to play with all of you.'

'Oh yeah!' Max brightened at this, then looked over at his siblings who had finished their chocolate. 'Guys, Petra is at our house, staying safe!'

'We know, Max,' Leo giggled. 'We get to tell her all about the tree-getting when we have supper.'

'She's little and she has to know that we didn't leave her out of the fun,' Trini explained to Alexis, as if this was some mysterious ritual. 'Soon, she will be big enough to ask us questions and learn our names.'

'When Max learned how to talk, he called me Wee-oh, and Triini was Tee-nee. The only one he got right was Tessi.'

'I was little and learning,' Max retorted in only a way a younger brother could. 'And Tessi will be upset if she hears you mocking the way people talk.'

That had the twins shutting up right quick - they knew their sister's struggles with her speech impediment and would not have it get back to Tessi they were mocking others for an affliction similar to hers. Instead, Trini began to pat at Alexis' coat like she was a TSA agent, prompting a questioning look.

'Uh, Trini, whatcha doing, sweetheart?' Alexis asked in genuine confusion.

'Where is your camera? We have to take pictures to show Petra! Heeheehee, pictures for Petra, that is like a rhyme!'

'Here.' Alexis reached into her ski-pants, pulled out the camera. 'Go nuts. Ah!'

Trini lowered the camera, grinned. 'There, now Petra will see her mami whenever she wants while you have supper tonight at our house and you're not right beside her.'

'Well, considering she is a little baby who nurses...'

Shane cracked up when Leo looked like he'd smelled rotten eggs while turned the shade of a pomegranate. 'Leo, I cannot wait to see you as a teenage boy.'

'Why?'

'I have my reasons. How about I take this-' he nipped the camera from Trini's hands '-and you and your brothers and Alexis hop onto the wagon, and we take some pictures for Petra to see?'

'Okay!' The children chorused, waiting for Alexis to boost them up before turning towards Shane. 'We can show her all the steps of getting the tree, like- like a picture book!'

'Good idea Leo.' Shane held up the camera. 'Say cheese!'

'Queso!'

'Oh man,' Alexis laughed, gave a little 'oof!' as the wagon lurched, and Shane got a running start to jump onto the wagon. 'What is our little girl gonna sound like if these are her examples of friends?'

'Just like part of the family.'


	26. Little Buddies I

By the time the crowd of people returned to the Esposito house in Chelsea with their tree, Shane was getting a little antsy to see his little girl. It was one thing when he had to go to work and his little one was at home with her mumum but voluntarily leaving Petra behind was a different story altogether.

He didn't like being away from his baby girl any more than necessary.

As soon as he had his winter things off, Shane made a beeline for the kitchen to find Esposito's mother in the kitchen stirring a pot of some delicious smelling concoction that appeared to resembling chilli. 'Hola Mama Espo,' he greeted her, earning him a warm hug from Rosalita.

'Hola new papa, your little girl is having a nap right now.' She picked up the baby monitor, gave it a little wiggle. 'She's snoring like my little Tessi-chica.'

'She gets that from me,' Shane replied proudly.

'Where is Alexis?' Rosalita looked around. 'I thought for sure she'd be here and hovering over her daughter like all new mamis.'

'Meredeth took her to pick up a few things for dessert. Even if she hadn't, I know Meredeth would have found an excuse to take her on a detour to help with her therapy.'

'Therapy?'

'Alexis has been seeing a counselor for some of her new-mom stress.'

'Oh, that!' Rosalita waved her hand. 'That's not therapy, that's common sense. She feels overwhelmed, she sees a doctor for it. Can you pass me the hot mustard?'

Shane turned, found the spice jar on the counter, then went on alert when he heard Petra begin to stir through the baby monitor. 'Looks like someone doesn't want to be left out.'

He gave Rosalita's cheek a kiss, then headed upstairs to find his little girl nestled amongst protective blankets in the middle of Meredeth and Esposito's bed; she was fully awake and looking around, just beginning to fret a little when Shane walked in.

'Hello, my precious gem, how are you? Did you have a good nap, I bet you did, this is a nice cozy spot for a sleep isn't it?'

Petra offered up a gummy little grin, kicked merrily; as Shane felt her bottom to check for a fresh diaper - yep one of those was definitely in order - he gave her a kiss. 'We've got some excited people waiting for us downstairs, don't we? Yeah we do.'

'Shane?'

He turned around, saw Tessi, Dell and Violet in the doorway. 'Hey guys,' he told them softly, 'Petra's up but she's still a little sleepy. Did you want to say hi?'

'Yeah, little babies are fun,' Dell replied with a grin. 'Especially ones like Petra when they are all bubbly.'

'Well next time she bubbles up her dinner, she's all yours pal,' Shane teased him.

'Baby throw up, so what? I threw up plenty I bet.'

'I have lots too,' Tessi added, making Violet shake her head.

'I was hanging out with you guys to get away from my gross brothers,' she reminded them, climbing onto the bed to see the action up close.

'Well right now, Miss Petra needs a fresh diaper, then we are going to find Mumum and a snack.'

'A fresh bum? See ya!'

With a little kiss on Petra's wrist, Violet was off like a shot; she was clearly taking her no-gross policy to heart. Giggling Tessi shook her head, watching Shane put Petra on the bed. 'What a silly girl she is,' she told Petra, 'she forgets that she was a little baby like you once too.'

'Bah!' cooed Petra, and Dell joined his Tessi on the bed while the baby had her nappie freshened.

'Exactly, Petra, bah! We all started out small, and we all had bums that needed to be changed. I bet she even liked helping her mama when Finn was a little baby like you.'

'Well, that's step one accomplished,' Shane decided as he snapped the onsie back into place, then rooted around in Petra's bag for her matching pants and socks. 'Now it's time for food.'

'Shane?'

'Yeah, Dell.'

'Can I...maybe could I have a turn feeding Petra her bottle?'

'If Alexis says sure, that's fine with me' Shane agreed, tickled that a pre-teen boy was so eager to look after the little ones. Or he could be taking a page out of TJ's book and taking care of the little ones so he could achieve his own ends while still genuinely enjoying their company. 'What do you think?'

'Blb!'

The group of four headed to the kitchen, where they found Alexis drinking tea with Honey-Milk and Meredeth. Before Shane could so much as open his mouth, Dell marched straight over to Alexis, and laid his head on her shoulder.

'Lexie,' he all but crooned, nearly causing Alexis to choke on her tea.

'Uh, yeah? what's with the eyes?' she asked on a laugh.

'That would be how my son butters me up when he wants something,' Honey-Milk replied. 'What's up Delaney?'

'Pretty Lexie, may I hold Petra to give her a bottle?'

'Sure, as long as Shane sits with you,' Alexis told him, lifting an eyebrow when Dell let out a little cheer. She gave Honey-Milk a thoroughly confused stare. 'What's with him?'

'He is aiming to take over TJ's mantle of resident babysitter. He told me he wants his baby-sitting certification so it's an easy way to make money without it interfering with his social life.'

'I see.'

'Hey, if you're not okay with it,' Meredeth started but Alexis waved her off.

'No, it's okay, really. It's part of that whole no-judgement thing I'm working through with Doctor Mulgrew.'

'Ah, gotcha.' Meredeth nodded. 'Well, then, if Dell and Shane have the baby looked after, how about we ditch the tea and go for that mulled cider for the big kids?'

'As soon as I pump out for Petra's bottles, you are on.'


	27. Rolling Gemstone: 12 Weeks, 6 Days

'Up up up! Whee!'

Alexis lifted Petra above her head, making cooing noises and grinning wide. Petra loved this game, it made her smile even wider. 'Oh, you're such a pretty girl,' she told her daughter, 'you sure are!'

'Are we doing our exercises before dinner?' Shane came into the living room, grinding his teeth a little that Perlmutter had stuck him with yet another night-shift. He was so glad he'd put in his application for the day-shift deputy position.

'We sure are, because someone decided naptime was over early today,' Alexis replied, blowing a raspberry on Petra's cheek which made her squeal in delight so she did it again. 'Yes they did.'

'What do you ladies have planned tonight?'

'Lanie, Adam and Zane are coming over, we have to do some planning for Adam's new partner.'

'Oh yeah, so the rumours are true? Watkins is pregnant?'

'Yep, she sure is,' Alexis smiled at Petra, who'd taken to sucking all four of her fingers, so she sat up and turned to see Shane taking out containers of leftover Chinese. 'Lindsay told me the whole thing when we went grocery shopping yesterday. Apparently, Evie and her wife-'

'Evie?'

'Evie, it's what Lindsay calls her,' she laughed, putting Petra on her play-mat for tummy time, 'Evie and her wife Brie have decided they want to start a family and because Evie is older, she wants to carry the first baby.'

'Makes sense,' Shane agreed, 'but she's not old.'

'It's a girl thing,' was all Alexis said, and Shane shrugged it off as he turned on the pot to steam-warm the noodles; his bride had become twitchy about using the microwave ever since learning she was pregnant. 'So Adam is coming over to help put together something for her birthday that is all about her because Evie is scared that her friends and family are going to forget about her birthday in the wake of the baby announcement.'

'How...' Shane trailed off, not really wanting to think about how a woman in a same-sex relationship would get pregnant.

'How did she get pregnant?'

'You know me so well.'

'Well it's a logical question. Lindsay said that she and Brie agreed on a donor, a friend of Brie's from her bistro who went through a bad divorce because he wants kids and she didn't.'

Shane shook his head, snagged an egg roll from the box. 'How does it always wind up being that restaurants are so full of soap opera drama?'

'Because chefs are passionate creative people, and they work long hours so it tends to be a love-the-one-you're-with type of environment.'

'So, bottom line is that this is a long-time friend of Brie's and he's agreed to provide the daddy half of the genes for their children? That's one way to go.'

'Adoption is still harder for same-sex couples than those who raise their own children. You've seen what Body and Faisal have been going through the last three years,' Alexis pointed out. 'And this way, there is the bonding of a family unit in a much more...'

She went quiet so suddenly that Shane turned around, saw her sitting stock-still. 'Lex?'

'Oh my god!'

'What is it?'

'Petra rolled over all on her own!' Alexis flapped her fingers at Shane in excitement. 'Grab the camera! Or the laptop, to show your parents!'

'On it!' Shane raced to their bedroom to get the camera, saw Alexis put Petra on her back once more. He watched with bated breath as Petra wriggled around, then with what seemed to be a sudden moment of clarity she twisted herself around to her belly, her little head bobbing around. 'Oh wow, Petra! Look at you go sweetheart! She's doing that awfully quick and...what's she doing?'

Alexis watched her daughter, saw her scrunching up her legs and putting her little butt in the air. Curious she gave her bottom a squeezing test, then snickered. 'It would appear she needs a diaper change.'

'I got this one,' Shane offered. 'Let me bond with my baby before dumping all the night-time duties on you.'

'Consider this.' Alexis picked up Petra, got to her feet to pass the baby to her papa. 'If you go to work tonight, you have something to talk to your daughter about. Then when you get home, we can have pancakes or waffles, maybe some omelettes.'

'Ooh, that sounds good now,' Shane commented, then took Petra out of Alexis' arms. 'Maybe a little ice cream and whipped cream to go with it?'

'No it- oh. I think I know where your mind is going now,' she teased him.

'Yeah you do.'

'And now you have a reason to work extra hard so you get your treat when you're finished.' Alexis planted a sultry kiss on his lips before she went to the kitchen to finish dealing with the Chinese food.

Shane waited until he'd gone into the nursery before murmuring to Petra, 'If you could, sweetie pie, maybe sleep in a little tomorrow so that Mumum and I can have a little alone time.'

'Blb!'

'What kind of alone time? The kind that made you, but you're not getting a sibling already, sweetie,' Shane told her. 'That's in another year or two, when you're a little bigger.'

'Blb!'

'A little brother? Well if you want one of those, talk to Auntie Jojo and ask her how much fun it is. Better, ask Tessi. She''s got two of them.' Shane finished the task at hand, picked out a fresh onsie for his precious gem. 'What do you thin, sweetheart? Muppets or music notes?'

'Blb!'

'Muppets it is.' Shane was fond of that set of jammies - all the little Muppet Babies characters were curled up and sleeping on clouds with the words _we make our dreams come true_ on her sleeve. 'Now, you be good for Mumum and in the morning you and I will have some fun just us okay?'

'Blb!'

'You got it my little gem.'


	28. Christmukkah I: 14 Weeks

It was December twenty-fifth and for the first time in her life, Alexis just wanted to sleep in on Christmas morning. She was full of Christmas spirit but she was a new mom working through some emotional issues that were taking all of her energy.

She groaned a little when she rolled over, saw it was just past six according to her phone. Petra would be up soon, and since Shane had been on over-nights she'd been the lucky one to get her quasi-pseudo eight-straight hours. It also didn't help that they were staying at the loft because RJ and Jojo had insisted on having Petra there for her very first Christmas; her very first Chanukkah was going to fall on the twenty-seventh of December, which meant they were in for a very busy week ahead.

Returning to her back once more, Alexis sighed, closed her eyes. Then she was moaning lightly as she felt Shane's fingers creeping their way under her sleep-shirt. 'Shane,' she whispered, 'the baby is in her pram and we are in my parents' house where my brother and sister are going to wake us up soon.'

'The baby is asleep,' Shane agreed, 'but she was up late for her bottle so she's out for the count. As for RJ and Jojo, I told them they aren't allowed to wake us before seven or they won't get to give Petra a bottle today. You can imagine how that went over.'

'So...we have some time just for us?'

'You betcha.' Shane knelt in the bed, happy when Alexis sat up she gave him a sultry smile. 'How do you wanna spend that time?'

Alexis pulled her sleep-top over her head, fiddled with her bra-straps. 'Guess.'

She kissed him, tracing his lips with her tongue. In all that they'd been through together, especially since Petra had been born, he still wanted her like this. It went a long way to help reaffirm her femininity in a healthy psychological way, that Alexis knew for sure, but it also felt really good too, just to feel like her man wanted to bang her the same way before their baby had come along. She felt his hand reach behind her back to unsnap her bra, she made a little noise.

'Shane, my nipples are really sore from nursing,' she told him quietly.

'Want me to kiss it better?'

'Okay, but if-'

'I know.' Shane traced his thumb over her cheek, smiled as he gently kissed her once more. 'Sweetie, I love every inch of you.'

'Even the extra ones?'

'Especially the extra ones,' he reassured her, moving his hands from her face down her body that was just starting to shrink itself down like regular weight-loss. With nimble fingers he slipped her panties down her legs, so she was naked in bed with him. 'But we will need to be quiet because of the baby.'

'I don't care.'

'Good.' Shane held her close, rolled so she was straddling him. He traced his hands up and down her thighs. 'Move up.'

'I love it when you're bossy,' she purred; Alexis loved when she was on top like this, a fact they'd discovered when she'd been at her heaviest with Petra and lying on her back for lovemaking was no longer an option. Grabbing onto the headboard, she closed her eyes, felt Shane's mouth nuzzle at her skin before he began to taste and tease her it was certainly a task to keep quiet when Shane's mouth was busy elsewhere, but Alexis forced herself to keep quiet as he delved deep, exploring her like some exotic treasure grotto.

Shane moaned as he pressed his mouth against his wife's slick flesh, knowing she was probably only thinking about her scar, her baby weight, how he wanted to make love to her when she was working through her issues. She was forgetting one thing - he loved her beyond reason and rational thought, and that trumped everything else. His hands stroked over her ass, her hips, her thighs; her sighs were music to his ears. When he felt her body go rigid, then loose as the orgasm swamped her, he eased her back so she was straddling him.

'Now, my love,' he murmured, kissing her hard.

Alexis lifted her hips, lowered herself onto him and began to rock. God he was amazing, so sweet with her, so patient like he'd been from square one. It was what made her love him even more now that they had the baby and he understood what she needed both to be a great wife and an even better mother. But in this moment, it was just about being a woman loved and desired by her man. She felt his hands on her body, each touch bringing her awake more and more until she felt bright as a star, exploding into a supernova as the orgasm flooded her body.

Shane closed his eyes, head thumping back against the pillows as he felt himself drain, Alexis' hands on his chest with her delicate fingernails scratching his skin. It was just enough bite to make him groan deeply, a sound that transformed into a sigh as he shut his eyes and let himself come inside his wife.

They lay tangled together in bed, all snuggled up like a pair of love-doves as they tried their best to keep the noise of their post-coital glow to a minimum so Petra would sleep a little longer.

Well,' Alexis heaved a happy sigh, 'if today is a total blur of sound and colour at least we had this morning.'

'Oh don't be like that,' Shane teased her, making her grin.

'I'm kidding, sweetie. Better get some clothes on, in case there are some early birds.'

'Agreed. I do not need a repeat of last New Year's when we made our little gem.'

'And like magic,' Alexis laughed as she heard Petra begin to stir gently in her bassinet. 'Christmas morning is off to a very good start.'


	29. Christmukkah II

Once Petra was fed and changed, Alexis and Shane discovered they were had timed their loving all too perfectly. They'd no sooner redressed into camera-ready lounging clothes, Petra into her adorable little red Christmas onsie, when the proud auntie and uncle came running in.

'It's after seven!' RJ thrust his wrist forward, showing off the spanking-new watch he'd gotten for his birthday. 'Jojo cuddled with me for a whole hour!'

'I did,' Jojo agreed, moving over to inspect Petra's jammies; when they were met with a wrinkle-nosed grin, she looked at her sister and brother-in-law. 'How are your Mormones, Alexis?'

'My mormones are doing okay,' she replied on a laugh at Jojo's use of another RJ catchphrase.

'Good, because it's Chrismukkah and you can't be sad about that. Not when there are presents and hugs and kisses and love and cookies!'

'I think anyone would be hard pressed to be sad after that,' Shane agreed, ushering the young ones out while he watched Alexis snuggled the baby close. Having his beautiful Alexis back was the best Christmas gift ever. 'Have you guys checked out the tree yet?'

'Uh-huh!' RJ nodded. 'We did our tradition of going downstairs to see the tree and then coming to find you guys!'

'Cool.'

'Do you remember your first Christmas Shane?' Jojo asked, taking his hand to walk with him downstairs where Beckett and Castle were already in the kitchen setting up their Christmas morning breakfast of nibbles.

'I sure do. It was when RJ was just over a year old, when Alexis and I first started dating. I was really nervous because I had no idea what to expect. Then I got distracted by RJ asking what the word 'initials' meant and we were opening up our Christmas stockings.'

'Did I really ask that?' RJ looked impressed at his own precociousness.

'You sure did, just like I was there when you said your first words,' he continued as they found spots on the floor in the living room around the tree; Shane knew Alexis would want the floor for Petra's cushioned playmat. 'You know what those were?'

'Her name!' Jojo piped up, proud she'd remembered that story. 'And Mumum says mine was 'bride' because Alexis looked so pretty in her wedding dress!'

'Close enough,' Alexis laughed, then headed into the kitchen to fetch Petra's bottle to let it warm; she'd discovered Petra stayed far more content if her breakfast was room temperature rather than super-hot from warming in boiling water. That had been her first major break-through since starting therapy - Petra didn't need Alexis to be the perfect mom, she just needed Alexis to be the best mom for her.

'It's almost time for breakfast, baby girl,' she told her daughter brightly, flicking the tip of her finger down her nose which elicited a bright coo from Petra; she bapped her palms on Alexis shoulder as if to say she couldn't wait.

Beckett watched Alexis as she arranged cracked wheat toast and sour-dough baguette slices in a basket, added them to the tray of fruit and cheese. It was so great to see her girl on the road to healthy. The real test would be the following day at Meredeth and Esposito's.

'You ready for this Petra, can you handle the fun?'

'She says, Omi of course I can! Mumum's almost all better, and Papa he is so happy and so am I because nothing is worse than seeing my mumum sad,' Alexis replied on her daughter's behalf, grinning at Beckett. 'I'm still feeling embarrassed that I was needlessly hard on myself like that, and it's hard too, accepting that time I lost that I didn't need to be miserable.'

'You did the right thing, you got help and look where you are now,' Castle told her, coming over to put the plate of turkey bacon on the tray. 'Here enjoying Christmas with your baby and husband and your family.'

'Exactly, and I'm not wasting another second dwelling on my...my illness. I want to be here, now, with my daughter. I think I forgot one thing, too.'

'What's that?'

'Richard Castle, man-child extraordinaire, raised me and look how I turned out,' Alexis teased her father, making him wrap his arms around her and Petra together. 'Aw Dad, knock it off, we're wasting present time!'

'That we are.'

They headed into the living room, surrounding the tree where RJ put himself in charge of giving everyone their stockings; he stopped short when he frowned as he held Petra's while glancing back and forth from Alexis to Shane.

'Who holds Petra's stocking? She's a little thing yet, she can't even say her own name!'

'How about we put little missy-' Alexis gave Petra a little bounce '-onto her playmat, and you and Jojo can take turns helping me open gifts while Shane does the big under the tree presents with Petra?'

'Ooo, that's good and fair,' Jojo nodded, then looked at the tray of goodies. 'Mumum, can we start?'

'Food or gifts, bumblebee?' Beckett asked.

'Both!'

So saying Jojo grab a slice of toast with a napkin, took a bite so the slice stayed in her mouth while she reached into Petra's stocking for the first gift. She unwrapped with with the precision and grace of a Tazmanian Devil grinned about her toast.

'It's shampoo! That's awesome Petra! You've got dark red hair just like me so that's a really good thing to keep you pretty. Shane take a picture!'

Shane could only laugh as Jojo leaned in towards the clueless Petra, perfectly content with keeping a hold on her own toes, for the photo before they moved onto the next one, with RJ repeating the process over the matching bubblebath. If this was how the young aunt and uncle were going to be treating their princess of a niece the whole day, it was a good thing there would be wine at dinner.


	30. Holidaze

'Ooo, who's a pretty girl!'

'Push C, and move the joy-stick up.'

'Do you have any threes?'

Shane looked around the highly populated Esposito townhouse, sipping his beer with an amused bafflement on his face. The noise, the chaos of it all, would have made a lot of tiny humans Petra was cozied up on his lap, blinking her big baby blues while she observed the goings-on around her. From their perch in the armchair they watched as the kids played Lego Hobbit and Dance-Dance 3000, argued over card games, inspected ornaments on the tree and sent Tortuga into canine Nirvana with endless attention.

He saw the way RJ kept close to Trini, every so often stealing a glance his way before Trini got his attention back, the way Violet and Leo would hover nearby to keep an eye out for their little friend. Best of all was how Nate and Heddie ran interference between himself and Lindsay on behalf of the kitchen.

'Shane, you suh-nacky?' Heddie's eyes sparkled as she stared at Petra while talking to Shane. 'You wan' some cheese and cuh-rackahs?'

'Or a juicie?' Not to be outdone, Nate sidled closer too, wondering if giving Petra a kiss on her head would make her cry.

'I'm good right now, but maybe Lindsay might like something,' Shane told them, pointing to where Lindsay had a squirming Zane on her shoulder. 'She looks like she might like a snack.'

'Okay!' Heddie reached out and gave her tiny friend a gentle rub on her shoulder. 'Lindsay! We find a suh-nack!'

'Thanks guys!' Lindsay laughed, then looked at Shane as she patted her own baby's back. 'They are so adorable, trying to be big helpers.'

'Oh yeah, they are.' Shane thought of RJ insisting on Petra's infant-highchair being between him and Alexis at the supper table for Christmas so he could talk to his little niece. 'And I think when they get bigger that they-' he gestured between Zane and Petra '-are going to be saying all their friends' names as their first words.'

'Hey how come Devon's being so clingy with his mom lately? I noticed that the last time Sloan and her boys visited.'

'Oh, shoot, didn't you hear?' Lindsay looked guilty, then glanced up at Alexis who had come into the living room with a plate of cheese and crackers and fruit. 'Lex, didn't you say you'd told Shane about Sloan being a judge for _America's Next Top Model_ after Christmas?'

'Oh that!' Shane laughed, the burst of it startling Petra a little, which made her gurgle indignantly. 'Sorry sweetie pie. Yeah I know she was doing that, I just didn't hear where they were going for their overseas destination.'

'You watch _ANTM_?' Andrea who'd followed Alexis into the living room looked at Shane with intrigue. 'Oh man, don't let the boys hear that one, though they probably have their own little things that are worse.'

'What's worse?'

Esposito came in the room, munching on a roll smeared with some type of delicious cheese. He took a look at Shane and his wife's friends and shook his head. 'Nevermind. So you up for cards on the eighth? We're starting up the weekly game again once the crazy of the holidays wears off.'

'Sounds great.'

'Lex, Mere was asking for your help in the kitchen. She wants a taste tester for something.'

Alexis smiled, gave her husband and daughter a kiss as she left; when she saw the cluster of young ones leave the video game to swarm around him, she wondered if he knew that's how she felt when she'd been pregnant and they'd all wanted to rub her belly to feel Petra kicking.

She wound her way into the kitchen, saw Meredeth with her hair bundled on top of her head beneath her colourful bandana and smiling as she stirred a verifiable cauldron of gravy. At the island, Daniel was running a mix-master for potatoes while Jeremy chopped onions and Devon supervised the whole goings on with Nessa from the island chairs. 'Hey mama. Taste this, it feels like it's missing something and I can't tell what.'

'Gimme.'

Alexis opened her mouth obediently as Petra would, nodded as she swirled around the spoonful of gravy Meredeth popped in. 'Needs a little more sage and a dash of salt. A little, though or you'll mess it up.'

'Good to know. Speaking of feeling messed up, I haven't heard anymore horror stories about you thinking you're a shit mother.' Meredeth rapped her spoon on the metal pot so her cursing would be covered from little ears. 'I take it therapy has helped a lot?'

'Very much.'

'There's no shame in therapy. I've been going since before I finished grade seven and I'm over forty,' she pointed out which made Alexi blink.

'You're still in therapy?'

'Once a month I touch base with my shrink to let him know what's going on in my life. Between the sleep issues I had and being a mother of four and married to a cop, plus having my own life...' Meredeth puffed up her cheeks. 'Makes for a crowded head-space.'

'I imagine so.'

'Hey did you hear that Watkins is knocked up?' Meredeth went on. 'Who's the father do you think?'

'You know she's married and also gay, right?'

'Yeah, which makes that question so much fun. Right Daniel?'

'What?' He'd turned off the mixer to add a pre-portioned dish of sour cream.

'Who's the baby daddy for Evelyn Watkins considering she's a gal with a wife?'

'Talk to Adam and Lindsay, they're the ones in the know.'

'Mami!'

Max came running in still in his outdoor jacket from walking to the market with Sloan and Adam, followed closely by Honey-Milk and Mallory. 'Mami when's it food time?'

'Soon!'

'Okay!'

Alexis laughed as she sipped her ginger-ale. It was so nice to have crazy normal back in her life.


	31. Little Party Doll: 15 Weeks, 4 Days

'Ahhh!'

'Oooo, what a big yawn!'

Alexis grinned as she watched Petra yawn, then offer up her own little gummy grin. 'I bet you're still tuckered out from all that partying at the holidays, aren't you? Between Chanukkah and New Years, and Auntie Jojo's birthday, you've been just go-go-go. And now you and Papa are going out with the boys, aren't you?'

'She sure is,' Shane agreed as he rubbed his towel over his face, reached over onto the bed where Petra was squirming like a cute little garter snake. 'Yep, you sure are!'

'He's gonna go play cards with Poppy Rick and his friends, including Zane's daddy,' Alexis grinned, 'and he's gonna win all their money because of you. Yes you, the new baby that is a good luck charm!'

'Ahh-ahh.'

'Aww, what a little sweetie-pie.' Alexis gave Petra raspberry-kiss on her belly. 'Who's all going?'

'It'll be small. Ryan, Espo, Rick, Adam and Watkins.'

'What?'

Shane chuckled; everyone knew the gang's poker games were sacrosanct men-only territory. He could count on one hand the number of times a girl had been invited to their boys' club. 'She and Adam have a case to work on, so Adam and I are tagging each other in since little miss here is coming with us.'

'Eee!'

'That's right, whee!' Alexis scooped Petra up to put her in her party clothes. 'Then when you're home and need your midnight bottle, you have to share all the gossip!'

* * *

'Don't be nervous.'

'Why should I be nervous, I know all these people.'

Adam chuckled as he watched Watkins fidget outside the door of Castle's loft. 'But you are getting to know them on a personal level. That's different than being at the office, so to say. And I can tell you with one hundred percent certainty they only let the elite into their circle. Like Mensa or something.

'Hehehe, Mensa in Black,' Watkins giggled, then pokered up when the handsome ME who was also Castle and Beckett's son-in-law opened the door, his new little girl cradled in his arms and sucking heroically on her bottle.

'Hey guys, come on in!'

Shane stepped back in welcome, neatly shifting Petra so he could take Watkins' bag in his free hand. 'Heard the news, how are you feeling?' he asked the pregnant woman, which made Watkins laugh.

'Tired but the doctor said that's to be expected. And hungry, like all the time.'

'Well, we'll fix you up. Castle got pizza from Petrelli's, beer-'

'Uh pregnant,' Watkins reminded him, patting her belly.

'Interrupter. We have beer both ginger and real.'

'Oh, yummy.'

'Here.' Shane passed Petra to Watkins. 'I need to hit the head before we sit down.'

Watkins studied the baby who was magically a perfect mix of Shane and Alexis. She had red hair, but dark and deep blue eyes that might lighten to her mom's tone as well. She was such a little cutie; Watkins fell her eyes well up that in a short while this would be her turn. 'Adam, do you think I'm silly for getting pregnant just after a promotion?'

'Not at all. Lindsay and I wanted to wait and we ended up making Zane on our wedding night.'

'Blb!'

'See Petra agrees,' Adam laughed, then looked up at Shane who'd come back from the men's room. 'Someone's got nervous mommy hormones already.'

'You just hang on to Petra there, she's good at cheering people up.'

As if to reinforce her father's opinion, Petra wriggled around until she'd settled herself happily against Watkins shoulder and began to suck on her fingers. 'There, see? You're a natural.'

'Or she's a good baby.'

'No, no, she's good but she is as stubborn and opinionated as her mumum,' Shane laughed, steering them towards the poker table. 'There we are. What do you want to eat?'

'No food yet!' Esposito bellowed from the kitchen, then looked over to see Watkins and he flashed his grin. 'Hey Detective!'

'Detective Esposito.'

'Have you gotten used to that?' He winked at her, neatly stole the baby out of her arms. 'Come see Tio Javi, baby girl.'

'Yeah, Brie gets a kick out of it. She makes a point of saying it when she's upset with me. But that's less and less these days since I'm getting in the first round of heavy lifting.'

'That's cool that you're going to alternate who carries the baby,' Castle commented, snagging a chip from the sideboard. 'I'm sure there's a few of us who'd like to have done that for our wives too.'

'Mere and Max,' Esposito chipped in; Ryan who'd been searching in the fridge for limes to go with their Coronas, joined him and passed him a bottle of beer.

'Really?' He took a sip, eased Petra from his partner's arms into his own to give her a loving little jostle. 'I'd have though you'd say the twins.'

'It's the only thing I'd pick to erase from my entire history with her. Watching her so scared in that ER, the idea I might lose them both from that cyst bursting...' Esposito shook his head. 'I could definitely do without that part.'

'I don't think Tio Javi realizes how much stronger that made all of his kids and his marriage,' Ryan told Petra who gave a wiggle and a kick with a grin. 'Exactly we should cheer for them because they are so good and brave.'

'Or she just sees me and wants her papa,' Shane laughed coming over to crunch a handful of pretzels before he took his baby back. 'Come here my precious gem, you're not a party favour being passed around.'

Petra responded by scrunching up her face and giving a loud fart, causing Ryan and Esposito to burst out laughing. At the joyous noise, she split her face into a happy grin which made her father roll his eyes playfully.

'Funny girl.'


	32. Boy Girl Talk

_At risk of being cheesy, this is a very special double ch dedicated to my booboo_**_ tayababy. _**_You will kn__ow exactly why._

* * *

'I hope being a good card player isn't a requisite for passing the adoption test.'

Watkins looked around nervously, saw only the guys from work in relaxation mode; they were down a body as Adam had been called home by Lindsay when Zane began showing signs of chicken pox after visiting the hospital daycare. Now left with only four other men, Watkins imagined that if she were straight, her husband would have an absolute shit fit about her hanging with an all-male posse for beer and poker. Or ginger beer in her case, she thought as she looked to Shane who was sitting at the table without cards as he fed Petra her bottle.

'Relax, Detective,' he chuckled, 'this table is for the cool kids only because we care about each other. If it were based on skill, it would only be me, Rick, Gil, and Cam, and that would get boring really quickly.'

'Cam is my brother-in-law, and he is just lethal at cards, so be thankful he ain't here tonight.' Esposito snagged a chip from the bowl, grinning as he crunched. 'And as far as the luck of the Irish, this poor bastard-' he clapped Ryan's shoulder '-could only win a pot if his wife was knocked up.'

'Which explains my almost eight-year losing streak,' Shane chuckled. 'Although I have to say the night you two found out about Alexis and me was pretty entertaining.'

'Why what happened?'

'Well-'

'Oh wait a minute, please let me leave the room for this part,' Castle interrupted him playfully. 'My daughter may be grown-up and married with a baby but there are some things a father doesn't need to hear. Ever.'

'Did you walk in on them naked?' Watkins asked with genuine curiosity; the complete lack of irony in the question had the rest of the table laughing uproariously. 'What did I do?'

'That's a different story to go with that question,' Shane explained, patting Petra's little bottom. 'That's more to do with this little babe's conception story. The night he's talking about was a poker night.'

'And poke-her night,' muttered Esposito, shaking his head.

'It's been eight years, man,' Ryan pointed out. 'He hasn't changed his story once.'

'I feel like I'm in a live episode of a TV show, completely unrehearsed.' Watkins flicked a glance at her cards, tossed in a few chips. 'I'm in. What about the eight-year-old-story?'

'So we went to meet Shane for cards,' Ryan began, ignoring Esposito's snort of derision, 'and unbeknownst to us at the time, Alexis was the new lady in Shane's life. Castle knew already but the rest of us didn't. So we went to Shane's place and Alexis answered the door fully dressed with wet hair.'

'Let me guess, Shane came walking out in his undies?'

'Worse,' Castle laughed, then beat a hasty retreat to the kitchen, ostensibly to place the night's pizza order.

'I came out of the bathroom wearing a towel, which left these two-' Shane dropped his voice, pointing at the Ry-Sposito monster '-assuming I'd just finished banging her in the shower.'

'I didn't think that,' Ryan added hastily.

'No, you figured they'd just finished up and didn't want it to be so obvious they'd just finished rolling around in his bed,' Esposito.

'Which was true, but what they didn't count on was the fact I was completely in love with Alexis even then,' Shane finished off. 'So it wasn't either of us looking for a quick shag, it was-'

'That thing you can't explain,' Esposito added, unclenching for the first time since the subject came up. 'Like I felt when I first met Meredeth. Everyone knows how much we liked each other straight away. Sometimes you know sooner than that.'

'What is your problem, dude?' Returning to the table, Castle gave the cop a weird look. 'You're usually the first one to give any of us shit about our private lives, what gives?'

'Let's just say that one of my kids has been asking a lot of questions lately about one of yours.'

'Oh-oh.' Watkins let out a little giggle. 'Young love?'

'My oldest daughter isn't even ten and she is asking about anniversary gifts,' Esposito groaned. 'She's been Dell's Tessi since before she was born.'

'Speaking of the unborn...' Shane stood up to burp Petra; she always did better when she was elevated to burp. 'How exactly did you get knocked up?'

'You mean did I get drunk one night and meet a stranger when I was mad at Brie?' Watkins laughed, thoroughly amused with the squeamishness of these big strapping men. 'No, no, it was her guy Marcus from the hotel.'

'The who-now?' Esposito felt his mind go a little fuzzy; Watkins reminded him in many ways of Lili which brought out the protective-yet-paranoid big bro in him.

'Yeah, the hotel where she did a co-op at culinary school. Her and Marcus were assigned to that kitchen together, him on the hot-line and her in pastry. They stayed on at the hotel after graduating and he would always make her food when she worked long hours, let her vent about me or her family or whatever, even let her have a few nights at his place when she'd gotten too liquored up at a post-shift party. He always said he'd do anything for her, and when she said that we wanted to have a baby, he didn't hesitate to be a sperm donor.'

'That's really sweet,' Ryan told her with a warm smile, tossing his cards into the middle of the table. 'But, uh... you're married, so it was like-'

'The turkey baster method? Yeah, pretty much.'

'Where's the fun in that?' Castle queried; Shane, who had walked away with Petra to clean up the baby spit-up she'd launched all over his shoulder, came back over to give them all righteous shit.

'Jesus you are all so juvenile,' Shane scoffed. 'She went through artificial insemination with a trusted friend. What's the big fucking deal?'

'We wanna know how much of a dick to be about the guy, so we need all the info,' Ryan replied without a moment's hesitation. 'If he was some random who took advantage, that's one thing, but if there are feelings involved that makes it a whole new set of reasons to be a dick to him.'

'Why does anyone have to be a dick to him?' Castle pointed out, taking Petra off Shane's hands so he could play his round at the table. 'What if he is just a great, regular guy that Brie cares about?'

'Thank you,' Watkins felt a strong rush of relief; she hadn't wanted to go into the topic of Marcus' level of involvement, given how much of an outsider his relationship made her feel to her best girl. It was hard enough to see how intimate Brie was with him with her own eyes, she didn't need her busy brain thinking up worse shit when they weren't around each other. Morning sickness was enough on its own, she didn't need to have another panic attack about Marcus. 'Besides, if you really wanna know what it means to be a dick, you should hear what happened when Sascha's bestie started dating a carpenter from my brother's new movie.'

'Sascha as in Sascha Russell, the girl you guys saved from Kali Wenthram?' Shane clarified.

'Yeah, my brother Joel is best-boys with Sascha's man Tommy, this is their fourth film together, and another friend of theirs, Christopher started seeing her best friend Emily and Sascha flipped the fuck out.'

'I didn't know girls could get that jealous,' Esposito commented, which earned him looks from the other men. 'What?'

'Are you forgetting a little triangle called you, Mere and Valencia?' Ryan asked him in disbelief.

'That different. Val was a crazy-bitch whore of an ex. Watkins is talking to us about two of her friends who are besties, which is neither friends nor family, it's a special category until itself.'

'You must have some very smart women in your life,' Watkins commented, clamping down on the urge to vomit.

'I have two daughters in middle school so yeah, I understand female politics. I wanna hear what happened.'

'In a nutshell, Sascha got mega pissed at Emily when she found out Emily spent the night with Christopher on the first real date, even though they'd been flirting a while before that. Sascha actually told her friend she wasn't a movie-set booty-call slut, she thought she was above something like that.'

'Whoa, that's definitely flipping the fuck out,' Esposito agreed. 'How did Emily take that one?'

'She was a little upset, mostly because she and Sascha have a history of Sascha thinking the worst and Emily always reminding her that she always tells her the truth no matter how hard it is for her to hear. It went down a little easier when Emily explained Christopher isn't a booty call, they are in a real relationship, and the fact the last boyfriend Emily had was before Sascha and Tommy got together two years ago. But y'know Sascha has abandonment issues from her mom dying and her stepmom leaving her father inside of five years, add a dash of five months of pregnancy hormones, the ordeal last October-'

'And you've got a witch's brew,' Ryan agreed. 'They still came out the other side of that?'

'Are you crazy? They're Emmy-Boo and Sascha-Lala, they're like peanut butter and jelly, one without the other just doesn't work so well. They do fine on their own but better together.' Watkins felt her eyes well up a little. 'I'm sorry, I'm babbling and it's embarrassing.'

'Really, because I thought this was called the getting-to-know-you off-the-job talk,' Shane asked teasingly.

'Besides,' Ryan pointed out, 'we asked you. We are sharers in our little band of law-makers, we spend so much time together we get to see all the warts and scars. The trick is, well, it's like your Booboo and Lola.'

'Boo and Lala,' Watkins corrected him.

'Right, the trick is finding a friend who you can lose your shit on and they still say love you too because they know you best,' Esposito finished off. 'That is something very special and guess what, kiddo.'

'What?'

'Now you've got a whole army of us.'

Esposito raised his beer, and the others followed suit. 'To family. No matter how we find it.'

They all clinked glasses, turned up their cards and groaned when the curse rang true once more - first-trimester Watkins raked in the chips of the first round.

* * *

By the time Shane arrived home with the snoozing Petra in her carrier, he felt exhausted and invigorated all at once. He gently tucked the baby into her crib, adjusted the volume on her monitor - he knew Alexis turned it up louder when she was home alone in case she fell asleep. Once one redhead was tucked in, he went to his room to find the other one and wasn't surprised when he found Alexis awake. That she was wearing only the bedsheets and a smile to welcome him home made his heartbeat thicken in delighted anticipation.

'Little miss is down for the count,' he told her, stripping off his pullover before reaching for his belt buckle.

'How was your night?' Alexis asked him sweetly, sitting up so the sheet fell away.

'It was so much fun,' he told her excitedly. 'Watkins is nervous about the baby, or mainly nervous about people looking at her sideways and going how does a lesbian get pregnant?'

'A night with the guys would mos-def help. Did you get lucky?'

Down to his boxers, Shane crawled onto the bed to kiss his wife, keeping the chuckle to himself as he thought how Alexis had zinged Ryan and Esposito eight years prior with that same one liner. 'I think I'm just about to.'


	33. Nursery Helpers: 17 Weeks, 2 Days

'Ooo, who's a pretty girl? You are my little gem, you certainly are.'

Shane grinned as he scooped water over Petra's tummy, which made her smile. She loved baths, loved being in the water; she was going to be starting big-girl swimming lessons soon too. Beside him, Jojo wrinkled her nose in delight.

'She is a good baby, Shane. Was I a good baby like that?'

'Oh yeah, except for the part where you got a little rash from some soap every now and then. But you didn't have colic or anything like that, not like Devon did.'

'What's colic?' Jojo asked, reached over to play with Petra's adorable little toesies.

'It's when babies have tummy pains and they cry a lot.'

'No crying!' From over at the bureau, RJ gave a stern holler. 'Petra, no crying! You're a great baby!'

'Well, right now we are going to get her all ready for bedtime so that when Alexis is ready with our supper Petra will be ready for a bottle and then a nap. Right sweetie?'

Petra responded with a giant gooey sneeze, but unlike most times when she smiled that silly little smile she always charmed people with she crumple up her tiny face and began to whimper. In a flash RJ was there, using his best big-bro voice to try and soothe her, just as he'd done when his own little sister had been the same size.

'Oh no, what's wrong little Petra? Did you scare yourself? Are you cold from the water?'

'Actually I think she isn't feeling so hot,' Shane commented, noting the way that Petra had grabbed his fingers and was gnawing on them like she was trying to grind something out of her mouth. 'Jojo, can you get Alexis for me?'

'Oh sure, Shane!'

Jojo darted off, following her nose to where Alexis was making a pot of the delicious three-bean fajita chilli she just loved. Jojo knew her sister was making a special siblings supper for her and RJ to celebrate her first ever speaking presentation in front of the whole school. She went over to wear Alexis was setting the table, gave her a hug from behind.

'Lex, Shane swants you to come in and see Petra, she's sneezy.'

'Oh, okay.'

Jojo followed her into the nursery where Petra was still fussing away, now in her pyjamas; she saw RJ hovering around Shane trying to figure out what he could do to help. She grabbed his hand, patted his shoulder. 'Petra's fine, RJ, her mumum and daddy will figure it out.'

'She's still cranky?' Alexis inquired and Shane nodded.

'That cold's hanging around, I think.'

'RJ, can you look in the cupboard above the sink in the bathroom for the white bottle with the pink label? That's Petra's cold medicine.'

'Oh sure!'

The boy zipped off, leaving Jojo to shake her head. 'He worries too much,' she told Petra, giving her a gentle kiss on the hand, 'but you'll be just fine, you'll get some medicine and a nice nap and a snack, and you'll be right as rain.'

'That's exactly right,' Shane agreed, hoping the practiced calm in his voice wouldn't betray him. His baby was sick and he was her daddy, she needed him to fix it, that was his job. 'In fact, can you grab me one of her bottles with the red lid from the fridge?'

'Sure!'

The second youngster taken care of, Shane looked at Alexis. 'How worried should we be?' he asked his wife, who simply smiled and gave his dark hair a gentle stroke.

'Cook said it's not uncommon for a baby to get a simple cold this time of year. We should bring her in if symptoms persist for more than twenty-four hours after being given the dose of fever meds.'

'Okay.' With Petra still fussing in his arms, Shane rose to get the thermometer; he popped it in Petra's ear, nodded. 'Body temperature is ninety-nine even. Probably still a little warm from her bath.'

'Probably,' Alexis agreed. She put her fingers to Petra's forehead, heard her give a contented little sigh. 'Apparently my fingers are chilly which she likes.'

'Or the salsa, given how much Mexican food you ate while pregnant.' When Alexis gave a silly little giggle, Shane looked at her. 'What is it?'

'It's just...I finally feel it.'

'What?'

'It, that thing that I felt was escaping me as a new mumum. It.'

'I see.' Shane leaned over, gave her a kiss. 'Better go see what's up with the in-laws.'

'Back! Got it!'

RJ produced the pill bottle, Jojo the bottle of breast-milk-formula cocktail. Alexis promptly dropped in the quick dissolving tablets as Shane sat down to give Petra her medicated bottle. The little girl sucked it down like it might run away from her. 'Easy girl,' he murmured, then caught RJ staring at him. 'What's up bro?'

'Um, Shane? Why are her legs all red? They look like Jojo's when she gets itchy-bumps from Bouncy sheets in the dryer.'

'They're just bright pink from being in the warm water. Petra gets that from me. Remember when we were in the Hamptons and I got that sunburn the summer before I was pregnant,' Alexis pointed out to them.

'What if she has allergies, like Lanie or she's diabetic like Dell?'

'She would have other sin-tones,' Jojo announced regally, proud she'd remembered that word from listening to Trini and Tessi. 'And Petra is little she still needs to build her eye-moon system, like a stereo.'

'Something like that,' Alexis giggled.

'Oh, she is sleepy already!' RJ smiled, secretly relieved Petra was nodding off. He didn't want to miss out on chilli night because his stomach was all knotted up with worry about his niece.

'She is,' Shane agreed, just as relieved as his brother-in-law. 'Let's get her tucked in, then we'll tuck into our supper.'

'Not quite,' Shane laughed, but close enough.'


	34. Party Planning Chez Espo

Alexis checked her make-up in the mirror, adjusted the hem of her shirt. It wasn't going to be a wild night out but there was something to be said for her own sense of personal pride when going to a girls' night in at Casa Espo. She wondered what it said about her as a parent that she felt perfectly fine leaving her daughter at home with her papa while she went out and had fun but it was a momentary doubt only. Alexis knew that separation anxiety was something all parents went through; besides Shane wouldn't let her stay home and mope, not when he'd gotten to go out with and without Petra for nights with the boys. Why shouldn't she be allowed a night of her own, was both their reasonings.

Picking up her purse and jacket, Alexis walked into the living room where she saw Petra flexing and stretchign on her tummy, beating her palms against the colourful images of her play-time quilt.

'Oooo, ooo!' she burbled merrily, making Shane laugh.

'That's a dog, Petra, isn't he cute? Or maybe it's a she like Tortuga.'

'It definitely looks like Tortuga,' Alexis agreed, making Shane glance up. She felt her insides warm when she saw his slow sexy grin. Pregnancy, a baby, emotional illness hadn't dulled the flame there a bit, she thought. 'I'll make sure I say hello for you.'

Petra's eyes darted around as she tracked Alexis' voice, then gave a shriek of laughter when Alexis picked her up, blew a raspberry on her cheek.

'You be good, my sweet. No wild parties with Papa, got it?'

'Mumum, we're not having some wild parties. Just pizza and some video games, maybe a movie.'

'What kind of video games,' Alexis asked with mock suspicion.

'_Guardians of Valhalla_, I forget what number they are up to now,' he replied, getting to his feet. 'Gimme a lick.'

'I'll get a lick from Tugsy, but for you...' she trailed off, gave him a slow sizzling kiss. 'That's what you get until later, naughty boy.'

'Maybe. I'm on call starting at four am.'

'Then I won't be late.'

* * *

As expected when she arrived at two-seventy-one West Twenty-Fifth Street, Alexis walked into a house full of children's noise, the scent of good food and the unmistakeable fragrance of a wet dog.

'Tortuga got into the neighbour's compost bin when Javi took her for a walk earlier so she needed a bath,' Meredeth explained. 'Come on in, you want a glass of wine?'

'Sure, just don't let me forget to pump out.'

'Girl I had four babies, trust me I won't.'

Alexis followed her to the kitchen, saw Lanie and Lindsay sitting at the table, Zane in a high chair with Lindsay feeding him what Alexis suspected was mashed strawberries. On the table were three bottles of wine already open in various states of consumption a tray of fruit and cheese, another of assorted goodies. 'Thought it was girls' night,' she teased her friend.

'Adam and Evie got called in,' Lindsay explained. So the little man and I are flying together tonight.'

'Which is just as well because now we can plan our little surprise party for her like we wanted,' Lanie explained, popping up to pour Alexis a glass of merlot. 'Canapes are fresh from the oven, and- hey sweetie.'

'Hi Lanie.' Tessi beamed a smile at her, looked to her mother. 'Mami, can we have our fancy treats now?'

'Where are you guys?'

'Upstairs in my room with the DVD player. Tortuga is behaving and Leo and Trini finished putting away the towels like you asked. Please?'

'Get one of the Three Musketeers to help you.' When Tessi didn't budge, Meredeth gave her a look. 'No.'

'But, Mami I'm a big girl, I'm the oldest of four kids! And I have a sweetheart, and Daddy let me have a little bit of wine at Christmas time!' Tessi protested earnestly.

'Goodie for you,' was Meredeth's reply, 'you can have grape-juice with ginger-ale or cranberry and club soda if you like. Wine is for the really big kids tonight.'

'Fine. Max!'

Tessi bellowed for her baby brother, wandered off while leaving a stunned Alexis in her wake. She looked to Meredeth like she'd just witnessed Merlin performing a miracle. 'How do you do that, Mere?' she asked.

'Get my kids to tow the line?'

'Yeah.'

'Because they don't have a lot of rules so they know when I say no, it's not open for discussion. Being cops kids, they're used to being flexible on plans.' Meredeth shrugged. 'Being a cop's wife and a mom, I've learned to be moreso.'

'Cool.' Alexis sipped her wine, made a noise in her throat. 'So tell me, tell me, what's this about a baby party for Evie?'

'She's been having a bit of a tough time with her hormones getting the better of her,' Lanie explained, 'and apparently, according to Adam, her and Brie have been having a few fights lately about the sperm donor.'

'Does Evie think Brie had an affair?'

'Oh of course not, they just have a difference of opinion on how involved he should be in the child's life. Both want him involved,' Lanie added, choosing a mini spanokopita off the tray in front of her. 'It's just a matter of how much they're fighting about. So I figured they might like a nice party that's all about being celebratory for the baby to lighten the mood a little.'

'I think you're a very smart woman, Doctor,' Lindsay told her. 'Evie's tough but she's also very vulnerable right now because of the baby hormones, so support like that will go a long way.'

'I sure appreciated it,' Alexis agreed, making Lanie tap her white wine against her red. 'Especially the onsie-painting party.'

'Great idea,' Lindsay agreed. 'And I think I know how we can pull it off as a surprise for our newest mama-to-be.'


	35. Sexy Mommy Time: 17 Weeks, 5 Days

Alexis groaned; didn't have to see the clock to know it was too damn early to be awake with this much energy. She'd been on night patrol for Petra since Shane had been at work and he wouldn't be home for another two hours. Restless, she flopped back onto her pillow, stared at the ceiling. She wanted her husband home here and now so she could bang his brains out.

Sighing, she slipped a hand under her sleep-top to touch her breasts. They felt different now; almost like they had when she'd been pregnant. She loved that they were bigger now, thanks to breastfeeding. Her hand drifted down over her stomach. Alexis had accepted she'd probably never be back to the same size and shape she was before her pregnancy, a fact which had previously scared her but now didn't seem like such a big deal. Shane still thought her the sexiest, most beautiful creature on the face of the planet. Hell there'd even been a few nights when they hadn't made it into bed and wound up tangled together on the couch. For Alexis, it was everything - her sexuality had taken a beating as much as her psyche had with her post-partum depression; having her man nail her like a maniac on their couch because he wanted her just that much made her feel like his own personal pinup fantasy.

The word 'fantasy' made Alexis smile. She _did_ have a solution to her horny little problem. Upon finding the pale pink case in their toy-box, she opened it and felt a naughty little thrill; the toy was pearl-pink and rough the same measurement as her husband. That was why she'd picked that one at her bachelorette party to begin with. It was battery operated but that was optional; Alexis had never cared much for the tickle sensation down there unless it was her lover's tongue.

Setting it on the bed, Alexis quickly and quietly checked on Petra only to discover her snoring like a cute little angel in her crib. Perfect.

'Mommy gets to have a little play-time, my gem,' she murmured, then went back to her own room, stripped down so she was naked in her bed. She let her hands drift everywhere, over her hips, stomach and breasts, down to between her thighs. She closed her eyes, let her mind go to a place of total bliss.

_The sun was pouring through the dappling of trees as it set over the white Bahamian sands. She looked out over the balcony of the hut, then over her shoulder. She smiled when she saw her man, smooth-chested, tattoos dark and beautiful against his toasted-almond skin. _

_'Shane,' she murmured, then felt his lips against her skin, teeth nipping at the strings of her tiny bikini; soon his teeth were replaced by nimble fingers. She felt the gentle breeze on her naked skin, shuddered upon realizing he was getting her naked on the balcony of their cabin. 'Shane, we can't-'_

_'Yes, we can,' he replied with a little growl in his voice, just enough to make him erotically dangerous. He slipped out of his towel, stroking his fingers up her thigh before sliding them between her legs and into her._

Alexis felt her nipples go hard in the present as she thought of that night on their vacation just before their wedding. It had been such a thrill to be so risky, so brazen that anyone could have caught them while they were in the middle of having sex. Keeping her eyes closed, she licked the tips of her fingers, brushed them over her breasts and let out a little groan when she felt the shiver go down her spine, land in the heating pool of her honey-pot.

_She felt her legs spread the way they always did to welcome him close, bring him inside her body. But instead of burying himself inside her, hips pumping fast and hard so that she moaned loudly for him to give her that glorious release, he knelt down and placing his hands on her hips began to taste her. _

_Alexis thought her knees were going to buckle. He'd always been good at this but with the added naughtiness of the semi-public location for this particular bout of love-making, it only added to the pleasure. She had to clap a hand to her mouth to keep the sounds of being driven wild by her man to herself, lest anyone wander down the beach and be curious about her cries._

She felt the wet warmth on her fingers, moved them back and forth while she arched off the bed. Alexis breathed deeply as the delicious friction built up and up, until one hand moved to grab for her toy, and slip it in while she relived the memory.

_'Shane,' Alexis panted, 'please, please just be inside me, baby, I want you inside me.__'_

_'Of course, Lex. Here.'_

_He rose, then with lightning quick moves brought Alexis down on top of him so her eyes went saucer-sized as she realized he was penetrating her to the hilt. Then everything went blurry until there was only the feel, the taste, the scent of him, as Alexis crushed her mouth to his to mute the sound of her pleasured scream._

She turned her head to the side, found the soft down pillow there as Alexis felt the latex glide in and out. Biting her lip, hoping the noise was muffled, Alexis stilled her hand, alternating now with grinding her hips back and forth. Yes, that was it, right there, exactly what she needed as she felt the toy hit a sweet spot. She moved back and forth harder, faster, until suddenly she felt every muscle in her body go rigid, toes curling as she let out a cry while the heat simply flooded through her veins.

With her head thumping back against the pillow, Alexis slid the toy out, set it aside; she'd tidy it up in a moment. 'Well, my love,' she said, 'I'm all warmed up for when you get home.'


	36. Newbie Needs the Crew I

'Hey big daddy.'

Shane grinned as he saw Ryan and Adam come into his autopsy theatre, his current customer the homicide victim found at the Glecha Cafe in Little Odessa. He set aside the surgical tools he was using to remove Mister Olek Banadinovic's liver from his usual spot, squinting in confusion.

'Where are your work wives?' he asked them; this pair only together worked when one had their other half out sick.

'Javi's gone to Puerto Rico with his parents to help with some stuff for the bakery so he's back on the roll tomorrow and Watkins is...on a personal day,' Adam replied after a moment's hesitation, something neither Ryan nor Shane missed.

'Adam, what's going on? Is the baby okay?'

'I'm not really comfortable to say anything just yet,' he said honestly, with just a tinge of sadness in his voice. 'It's not my place to go around talking about my partner's business when she is uncertain of things for herself.'

'Are things okay with her and Brie?' When Shane received dead silence as a response, he swore lightly as he pulled off his gloves. 'Damn. I knew something was up when she came for cards night.'

'Should we be worried?' Ryan added, thinking of how tense Watkins had seemed; they'd all just brushed it off as new-mommy nerves which had him kicking himself. 'Does she need help?'

'I don't know yet, it's...' Adam trailed off, dragged a hand through his dark hair. 'She said that Brie isn't who she thought she was, which sounds kinda melodramatic and cheesy, but part of me can't shake the feeling that it's her round-about way of saying that Brie was unfaithful.'

'Shit.' Shane closed his eyes, shook his head. 'Another woman?'

'My guess is the sperm donor, Marcus Calley. Watkins said she trusted Brie that nothing ever happened between them. Brie's bisexual, right, but Watkins has only ever dated women-'

'So it's hard to think of the idea that what you have isn't enough,' Shane concluded. 'That you are replaceable by something different, something better.'

'I think everyone feels that at some point though,' Ryan pointed out. 'It happens to friends when one has a new lover and the other fears being forgotten, or when a friend makes a new friend because they switched schools or jobs or something. Dell went through that when Tessi started school.'

'Really?'

'Hell yeah, poor kid's sugar was a mess, he was completely convinced that Tessi would meet a new best boy friend and she'd lose her affection for him. But as Tessi pointed out, he was just from school and they have a special relationship that no one can change. He got it together after that, especially when I also reminded him that Tessi had to face the same thing with him starting school before her.' Ryan shook his head. 'I didn't have the heart to tell either of them that it doesn't go away when you get bigger, it just changes as you grow up.'

'Either way, I think our girls could be a great help for Watkins since she mentioned that her other two people, Sascha and Emily, are still in Denver.'

'Will they be back for the birth?' Adam asked, knowing Lindsay was planning something with Alexis, Meredeth and Lanie for Watkins.

'For sure, Tommy's done filming March first, Sascha and Watkins are both due in May.'

'That must be some kind of hell to go through,' Shane commented, 'to feel like your world is falling apart and the people you need most are off having fun without you.'

'Well look at you and Alexis.'

Ryan's words had Shane pausing as he went to the bench to get a folder each for them. 'How do you mean?'

'I mean when you two first got together, you were there for like what, a month? Then you were five time zones apart for five months or so, you working here and her in England studying for med school. You were just in the new glow phase of your relationship and then mainly communicating by Skype and email and texting.' Ryan gave a shrug. 'Watkins is going through a life event right now and probably could use her girls and they're out in Denver on a movie set. More than likely she is feeling very left out and alone, especially given the nature of her job versus her friends' occupations.'

'Sascha is also pregnant, just a few weeks ahead of Watkins and she has had her own things to deal with. Emily too,' Shane reminded them. 'No-one is perfect, which is something Watkins seems to always expect of herself, so when she sees herself as failing, others see her as putting too much pressure on herself to begin with.'

'I forget is it you or Alexis that went through therapy?' Adam teased him, then stepped away to take a call as his cellphone rang shrilly.

'We've gone to a family group support as well as had our own individual sessions. Alexis is still going, but that's not the point.' Shane handed over the files, headed for his mini-fridge for a cold drink. 'The point is that we have all been through shit that we've all dealt with differently, and Watkins needs to know that we are her friends and here for her, whatever is going on, and we'll help her however we can.'

'You think Watkins would ask for help?' Ryan asked incredulously. 'Do you remember her in uniform? All that quoting the police code and the yes-sir-no-sir shit she pulled during the Pure Spirits case? And then when she was passed out and hospitalized from the injection in the neck she took she told us all to stop babying her?'

'Yep, I do which is why we won't ask if she wants help, we're just going to steam roll her with love.'

'Well, we can start now.' Adam stepped back, face pale. 'That was Cam George. Watkins is in the Er at Washington Memorial.'


	37. Newbie Needs the Crew II

'Mimimimim.'

'Yes, Mumum is right here, I'm right here.'

Alexis smiled at her little girl as she sat in the family waiting area of Washington Memorial's ER, Lindsay with Zane in his pram beside her as they waited for Brie to arrive. Watkins was a strong ,capable person but she was also a first-time mother going through any pregnant woman's worst nightmare - heavy bleeding when there should be none. She'd been lucky enough to have a good pregnancy and then the issues afterward. Mulgrew had helped her to see that it wasn't a punishment, it was simply bad luck, and now Alexis could think of no better way to show her personal growth than supporting a new mother through her own crisis.

Beside her, Lindsay say gently pushing Zane's pram back and forth while the little guy snoozed. Just as well Alexis thought, as Lindsay's expression would have scared him to tears. Her lip was curled and was almost appeared to be muttering to herself as she tried to hold in her tears.

'Linds, are you okay?'

'No,' she snapped, then repeated herself in a gentler tone. 'No, I'm not okay.'

'Evie will be okay, we were right there with her when she started to bleed.'

'She shouldn't be here,' Lindsay all but snarled. 'She's cop, she's pregnant and she's nervous enough about having her first child. Brie doing what she's done the last five months hasn't helped at all.'

'What has Brie been doing? Alexis asked. 'I only her a little of it from Shane after Evie was there for cards night.'

'It's what hasn't been happening. Every time there has been anything to do with Evie's health, Brie has been more about protecting Marcus' feelings than supporting her wife. She even missed a few doctor's appointments because she'd been out late with Marcus and overslept. That's not even the worst part.'

'What's the worst part,' Alexis asked with no small amount of trepidation.

'Well last night, Evie missed dinner because of work, and Brie bitched her out for it in front of Marcus, and Evie just lost her mind. One thing led to another and it came out that Brie lied to Evie about never having a sexual history with Marcus.'

'Oh no.'

'Oh yeah. So she put some stuff into a bag and stayed at our place. Brie didn't call her once.'

Alexis felt her throat close up, shook her head. 'How could she be that selfish? This is her wife, her child.'

'A child that she has no biological connection to. By legal rights she is a parent but there is no bloodline, that's Marcus,' Lindsay pointed out. 'How would you feel about watching a former lover of Shane's be essentially the surrogate to you?'

'I'd be devastated and probably wind up here.'

'Exactly.'

'Pupupupupup,' Petra burbled, stretching her hands skywards; she offered a gummy smile to Alexis, which nearly had her bursting into tears. She had only met Brie once or twice, but today she'd have no qualms about giving her a piece of her mind about just how much she'd fucked up the very best thing in her life.

Looking around, she saw Cam cutting through the crowd to reach them. It always threw Alexis off to see Cam without his black lacquered bamboo walking stick, like trying to eat fries without some kind of delicious dipping sauce. He was in pale green scrubs, the signature colour of the ER nurses, and he had on a pair of nifty Nike gel-soles with the bumped heel on the right one to compensate for his knee problems.

'Lindsay, Alexis, Watkins wants to see you. I'll keep an eye on the kids.'

'How is she doing? What about the baby?'

Cam shook his head, and Alexis felt her stomach bounce hard. She took Lindsay's hand in hers like they were little girls on a school trip as they headed to the exam room. On the gurney Watkins was in a hospital gown, laying on her side, breathing slowly and deep.

She looked so much smaller than Alexis remembered, so fragile. Watkins wasn't as tall as Meredeth or Beckett but she was still clocking in around five-seven, with narrow shoulders and the sexy pear shape that would have made any man breathe hard. Mos people would have assumed she was in costume in her uniform but her eyes were all cop and they got a taste of her subtle ass kicking when they assumed wrong about her.

'Evie, it's Alexis,' she said quietly, taking her new friend's hand. 'How are you feeling honey?'

'My heart...something's wrong and they s...said...the baby might have to b...be born soon. C...a c-section.'

'Oh Evie.' The tears came quick and hard, but Alexis kept her voice strong. 'You will get through this, you and the baby and Brie-'

'No cheese...ly...ing bitch...'

'It may sound stupid but she probably didn't want to hurt you,' Lindsay said gruffly. 'She probably was trying to do what she thought was best.'

'No...t enough...she...lied...'

'Save your energy,' Alexis soothed her, then looked over her shoulder when the door opened and Brie burst in. Her red hair was a messy tangle and her face was a study of panic, grief, and outrage. She looked nothing like the usual Glamazon chef everyone saw in her cafe. 'Brie's here.'

'Bitch.'

'Oh, Evie! Oh my god!' Brie's hands flapped like caffeine addicted butterflies as she rushed to her wife's side. 'Oh my god, Crackers, what is going on! What happened!'

The doctor, who'd been so quiet in the corner that Alexis had barely registered his presence, stepped forward with Watkins' chart in his hands. 'You're the next of kin?'

'I'm her wife,' Brie snapped, subtly nudging Alexis out of the way taking Watkins' hand as she began to cry. 'She's my wife, and this is my baby, and I need to know what happened.'


	38. Newbie Needs the Crew III

'Your wife's blood pressure is one-forty over eighty-six, she is experiencing chest pains, and she also has a severely high level of protein in her urine. All are symptoms of a condition called preeclampsia, which could result in a ruptured placenta, or a myocardial infarction for both the baby and your wife. There is the possibility we will have to deliver the baby today and perform a procedure on your wife if her scans come back positive for an aneurysm.'

'But...they'll be okay, right?'

'I can't guarantee anything right now, we need to see the test results and make a plan. In the meantime, you need to keep her as calm as possible so that the condition will not be aggravated.'

'Get...out...' Watkins hissed at Brie, eyes red rimmed and burning. 'You...lying...unfaithful...bitch.'

Alexis watched Brie reel from the insult, then defiantly shook her head. 'No, no my love, I never was unfaithful to you. It was a long time ago, and I never thought it would be a big deal.'

'How...could...you?'

'I- it was selfish and I knew you would judge me but I couldn't not tell you...' Brie shook her head. 'I've screwed up a lot in how I've been treating you.'

'Me...too...boy...'

'Boy?'

'It's...' Watkins rubbed her hand over her belly, tried to smile at Brie. 'It's a boy...and...'

'A boy!' Brie began to weep, kissing Watkins lips lightly. 'A boy, oh Evie...'

'And...we should...name him...f...for...his dad...' Watkins tried for a smile. 'I...wanna...know...him...'

'I know, I know, and it-' Brie cut off when Watkins' eyes rolled back in her head, and a machine started beeping. She began to weep and plead with Watkins to be okay, that she loved her, that she was sorry for everything. Alexis and Lindsay moved over to hold onto Brie while the medical staff worked on her; they moved her out of the room only to see Adam, Shane and a tall red-headed man with kind worried eyes and brick-layer biceps in the hallway. The red-head, whom Alexis accurately assumed was Marcus, immediately moved forward to gather Brie close but Brie shook her head and instead launched herself at Adam.

'Adam, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry,' she all but wailed it against his shoulder. 'I've fucked up and I'm so scared I'll lose her and the last thing she'll think of me is that I'm some sort of slut who-'

'Brie, Brie, it's okay, it's okay honey.' Adam stroked her back, saw his own wife's face soften for the first time since Watkins had shown up on their doorstep the night before. 'What's going on?'

'She has preeclampsia,' Lindsay stated, and gave them the rundown of what was happening so far. 'Where are Zane and Petra?'

'Ryan's got them. Cam was ordered onto a fresh trauma,' Shane replied, moving close to Alexis. 'How is she doing?'

'I don't know, we were ordered out of them room.'

'She has to be okay,' Brie sniffled. 'She has to be, if I lost her...oh God.'

It set off a fresh round of tears for everyone, all waiting for something, anything either way. Alexis thought of when she'd been the mother with the scary medical emergency during her labour with Petra. At least she'd been full term and the baby was the right size to come out. What if Watkins needed to deliver now, and the baby was too small? What if being born too small meant it had health problems, or neural problems? What if...what if...

After what seemed like an eternity, the doctor stepped into the hallway with the infuriatingly placid expression of someone long entrenched in the medical community.

'You're Missus Watkins?'

'Yes.' Brie hastily scrubbed at her cheeks, tried to brace herself for the worst. 'Is- Is she still alive?'

'Yes, she is. Her scans have come back negative for an aneurysm and the preeclampsia has been controlled for now. She is however going to require a hospital stay of at least two weeks to bring her blood pressure into a normal range, possibly longer.'

'Is...' Brie folded one arm across her breasts, had the other hand up near her throat. 'Is the baby okay?'

'Yes. He's a tough little guy and it was touch and go for a moment or two but he's hanging in there. The hospital stay is to monitor him as much as your wife. She's been sedated and we're moving her up to the ICU for monitoring.'

'I need to be with her, I have to be there.' Brie looked at Marcus. 'She'd want you there too. You're our baby's father, you have to be there for our boy.'

'Our boy?' Marcus' narrow face brightened for the first time since walking in. 'We have a son?'

'Uh-huh. We...we missed that appointment with Evie.'

'No more,' he said resolutely. 'From now on, it's no more moms versus dad, it's all of us together. It has to be. I'm not going to be the guy who split up a great marriage.'

'Agreed.' Brie turned to Adam and Lindsay, pulled them each in for hugs. 'Thank you, I- I know I'm not your favourite person right now Lindsay but I want to be better. I've failed Evie and I will do better.'

'Good, because if you don't your ass is grass and I'm a fucking lawnmower,' Lindsay replied in her patent mama-bear style; it was a common trait amongst the women in their group of friends. 'And now we know she's okay, you should prepare yourself.'

'For what?' Brie asked warily.

'The onslaught of people from the Twelfth precinct. You're one of us now,' Adam told her, making Shane and Alexis grin. 'You're not a little island of three anymore. You've still got your people but now you've got us too.'


	39. Come Back to Normal

With news of Watkins' hospital stay reaching full fruition on the Twelfth Precinct family's grapevine, it didn't surprise Alexis that she and Shane were barely out of the hospital when she saw Lanie and Beckett on their way in. A quick trade of words and they knew where to find their friend and new family member.

Shane had brought the car from the morgue to the hospital, which made Alexi relieved. She'd lost sense of time waiting for news on Watkins; it came back to her when they arrived home and Petra was beginning to squirm for a fresh diaper along with a snack.

'Okay my sweet little gem, we'll get you taken care of,' she reassured her baby.

'Mimimimimim.'

'Yes, I know, we're all excited that Evie and Brie are okay and their baby too,' Alexis replied, then looked at Shane who had followed her into the nursery. 'It's a good day.'

'A good day?'

'Uh-huh. Things could have gone completely wrong on more than one level for Watkins. Instead she's got her wife back, and she's stepping forward with Brie towards a good relationship with the father of their baby.'

'That's a very healthy way to look at it.'

'It is and I think I'm going to invite Zane for a sleepover tonight so that Lindsay and Adam can be there worry-free for his partner and her family.'

'Uh-huh.'

'I don't know about you but I'm not in the mood to cook tonight so what do you say to some delicious fish and chips from Sinbad's on Fourth.'

'Sure.'

Alexis looked over from where she was setting Petra on the changing table, felt her stomach squelch. Shane was in the overstuffed arm-chair, looking a little shell-shocked. 'Hey, what's wrong?'

'Seeing Watkins like that...it brought back when you were the woman with the baby like that. When I was the one in Brie's shoes.'

'Oh sweetie.'

'It just...snuck up on me.' Shane gave a cough to try and clear his throat. 'I've been in that place Brie was in, where nothing but the welfare of the woman you love and your baby is everything in the world. I've been her and it's so damn scary.'

'I'm sure it was,' Alexis murmured. 'But Watkins is gonna fine. She needs a hospital stay and I doubt Brie is gonna leave her side, and if she does she will make sure Marcus is there. She really wants them to be friends, and it's gonna be a tricky thing to balance it all but they'll make it work.'

'You think so?'

'I do. Brie and Evie love each other, Brie also loves Marcus and Marcus loves the baby. They will fight to make it work, just like we did.'

Shane tilted his head. 'Huh.'

'What?'

'That's the second time I've heard that today, that we had a lot against us and we still made things work.'

'Because we love each other,' Alexis said simply; when it was put like that Shane couldn't argue at all. He lifted himself out of the chair, came over to watch Petra's giggly little expressions while Alexis freshened her nappie. 'May sound cheesy but when it's worth it, you'll go to any lengths to make it work.'

'Very true. Like walking with little miss over to Sinbad's on Fourth

'I knew you were listening. Ooo up we go!' Alexis let Petra grip her thumbs and tug herself up to a sitting position. When she dropped her hands, her jaw fell along with them. 'Shane! Shane, look!'

'Hey, look at you, big girl!' Shane's face split into a wide grin - Petra was sitting up on her own, leaning forward with her palms on the counter near her knees. It reminded Shane of the way Alexis stretched while doing yoga; in fact it was exactly like that. Petra had her little right foot stuck out to the side, the left one tucked by her right knee and was bracing her weight on her palms by leaning forward. He fumbled around a little bit for his phone, to pull up the Skype app. He waited with bated breath until he saw his father's face on screen. 'Papa!'

'Scheine what is it, did something happen?'

'Yeah, look! Petra's sitting up on her own!'

He swiveled the device, heard his father call for Shir as he showed them the images of Petra sitting up like a big girl on her own. 'Oh Scheine!' Shir's voice was thick with joyful tears. 'Oh, she is just beautiful, oh what a sweetheart! Hello Petra, my little cutie, yes you are going to see us a lot more soon!'

'How's the packing going?' Alexis asked.

'Good, I mean, it is emotional. We made our home here for so many years. I always visited as often as I could,' Shir sighed a little, 'but all things considered, I want to be with Chaim and you and Alexis and our grand-baby.'

'It's going to be so different having you around all the time,' Alexis admitted.

'We cannot wait to be there either,' Chaim added, waving at Petra from the screen, 'and we promise we won't be the annoying in-laws Alexis, landing in for a visit whenever we want and expecting you to drop everything.'

'Chaim-'

'No, no, Shir and I want to spend time together, just us. Make our own friends in the city so we can be with you but not hovering.'

'Well right now I'm about to go pick up some fish and chips for supper tonight,' Shane informed his parents, not once taking his eyes from his daughter who was fascinated by the view from her newfound abilities. 'It's been a busy, stressful day.'

'Why?' A line form between Shir's eyebrows. 'What happened?'

'Why don't I tell you,' Alexis jumped in, 'while Shane goes to get our supper?'

'I think that sounds like something we'll get to say more often very soon. What happened today?'


	40. New Nickname: 20 Weeks 3 Days

'Mumum!'

'Yes, Jojo.'

'Why are we having a party for Max here and now?'

Jojo studied her mother as they put items into the goodie bags for Max's birthday party he'd offered to host at the loft since Meredeth was getting ready for the send-off party for Sloan the following night. 'Because Meredeth's house is getting ready for a good-bye party for Sloan tomorrow.'

'I don't want her to go,' Jojo said quietly. 'She's fun, I'm gonna miss her.'

'Yeah but you know what?'

'What?'

'She gets to be a judge on a TV show _and_ Jeremy is going to surprise her on March break when they all go to Portugal.'

'Where's Port-a-girl?'

'Portugal,' Beckett repeated, 'and it's in Europe, near Spain.'

'Ohhhh. Alexis?'

Jojo bellowed for her sister who had Petra in her arms while she waited for her daughter's bottle to finish warming. She twisted around on the couch to study her. 'When you were at Kay-bridge, did you live near Poachy-gull?'

'No sweetie, Portugal to Cambridge would be like driving from here to Miami.'

'Mimimimimi!' Petra burbled, making Jojo smile.

'That's right, Little Rock! Miami is a place in Flor-ah-da.'

'Little Rock?' Alexis repeated, which had Jojo bobbing her head.

'Shane said that she was ex'ra suh-tubborn when it was her birthday, like a cute little rock, and her name also means rock too,' she replied importantly. 'Just like Shane's name means bright in Dutch.'

'It sure does,' Alexis agreed, then glanced up when Martha came in, brushing fresh snow flakes off her stylish winter wrap. 'Hey Grams, look who's up from naptime!'

'There's my little angel,' Martha trilled, come over to scoop Petra up; she stopped momentarily when she saw Petra cuddle close to her mother. 'Maybe I should let myself warm up a little before we have our girl time.'

'That and it's snack time now.'

Alexis plucked Petra's bottle from the bowl of warm water, passed it to Petra who latched on like a vampire with a fresh body. Carrying the baby on her hip, she wandered over to the living room and could only laugh at the theme Max had chosen. 'Fish? Doesn't he get tired of that?'

'Nope, apparently not. You should see the cake Meredeth made him.'

'It's a suh-tar-fishie and each part is a different kind of cake,' Jojo added. 'Lex, can I give Petra her bottle?'

'Sure sweetie. Here.' Alexis patted the space beside her on the couch, and hte little girl hopped up, alredy tickled she got to hold her niece. 'I thought you'd want a turn later.'

'Nuh-uh.'

'How come?'

'Be-cause now it is nice and quiet. Soon lots of people will be fighting over her so I am getting my snuggles in now.'

Alexis gave her sister a look. 'You really think so?'

'I know so.'

* * *

Jojo, it seemed had her father's charm and her mother's brains - a short hour after Meredeth and Lanie had arrived to supervise the shenanigans of the young children, they were all clamouring to see Petra. Max, being the birthday boy played that card to its full potential on Alexis, trying to convince her that Petra would be his 'special present helper'.

'I'm the birthday boy, Alexis,' Max insisted, inheriting his mother's ability to tune out the noise of others around him while he focused on the person in front of him. 'Birthday boy wants Little Petra-Rock to sit beside him for present time!'

'Little Petra-Rock,' she repeated, wanting to give Jojo a little boot in the behind.

'Uh-huh, like how everyone calls me Max Power, Max went on sunnily as he followed Alexis upstairs to where Petra was finishing her nap in Jojo's room. 'Or how Daddy calls Trini Hurricane Katrina because she never-ever-ever picks up her toys and it makes Leo cuh-razy in the brains.'

'At least they don't share a room now.'

'I know, I think it is a twin thing. Ohhh, hi Little Petra Rock!' Max's voice was hushed in sweet awe as they stepped over to Jojo's bed where Petra was nestled in. 'Hi my little birthday buddy, did you have a good nap? Does she need a fresh bottom?'

'She usually does after a nap.'

'That's what little babies do,' Max agreed; when Petra was ready to go, he followed her and Alexis back to the party much in the same way Jojo and RJ did. 'Hey everyone!' he hollered when they'd reached the main floor, 'Petra is here!'

The small army of young party goers all turned at Max's shout; a few seconds later, Alexis was surrounded like a zebra by a pack of adoring hyenas.

'Oh, she's so big now!' Tessi breathed, then sent Dell a gooey look. 'Isn't she great?'

'She sure is,' he agreed, then looked to Carey and Leo. 'What do you think, cute or gross?'

'Super cute,' Carey replied, reaching out to give Petra's nose a little tap. She blinked, then smiled, which made Leo pull a gooey face.

'Aww, she's so much fun now!'

'Yeah, babies when they are this size are way more fun than when they are very little,' Violet agreed, moving close to Leo.

Devon and Nate, who had wandered over late to the party, stretched on their tip-toes to see the action. 'What she doin'?' Nate hissed at his brother. 'Dah-fin, what she doin'?'

'I think she's just suh-milin', Nate.'

'Wanna see!'

'It's okay Nate, here.' Rosie skirted the group, picked up her little buddy into her arms to hold him up for a better view. 'Can you see her now.'

'I see Lid-dill Wock!'

At the epicentre of the friend-storm, Alexis looked for Jojo, giving her a little glare while Jojo hung back beside her mother and smiled in the traditional way of a true Castle.

'You're gonna pay for that one,' Beckett informed her youngest daughter.

'Totally worth it, Mumum.'


	41. Shopping Bros

While Alexis spent the afternoon surrounded by the pint-sized crowd, Shane was pushing the grocery cart through Luongo's with Body; he was still baffled why the man was spending a day off from being a popular cafe's lead chef helping him make a special surprise dinner for Alexis.

'Faisal isn't home until Tuesday and I wanted to spend some time with you since our schedules haven't lined up a lot lately,' Body shrugged affably. 'Why waste a nice day like this being alone when I can hang with the father of my god-daughter? Wait, do I get to call her that since you're Jewish?'

'Call it what you want,' Shane laughed, 'all I know is I haven't been this excited to make Alexis a fancy meal in ages.'

Body's face clouded over as they stopped to select mushrooms for Body's secret creamy-mushroom soup recipe. 'I don't like how that sounds.'

'No, no,' Shane laughed, 'I mean because of the baby, we like to go out for fancy dinners as a treat to ourselves for being good parents. Staying home for a fancy meal just for us we haven't done in a while.'

'And with Valentine's coming up in a few weeks that means another chance to go out.'

'Not just out, away,' Shane informed him proudly. 'I've banked some time so we are going to the Bahamas for four days. And I'm telling her tonight so we can get the planning for Petra done.'

'Dude, that's so cool. And very risky.'

'How do you mean?'

'Well...' Body gave another shrug. 'First time away from the baby for that long? Not just like down the street at the Waldorf like on your birthday or something, but out of the country. That's a big step, especially considering what Alexis went through as a mom. You don't think she is overcompensating in the other direction now? Because I remember her barely being able to leave her baby's side and now you think she's ready to just up and take off for herself?'

'If I know my wife as well as I think I do, she will be fine until we're on the plane, then have a little meltdown, then have fun and then the ride home be a basket case again because she is so excited to see Petra,' Shane replied, which had Body laughing.

'Actually, that sounds like you know you wife like a man completely in love with her who is excited to have a romantic weekend away.'

'See? That part I know. I need you to help me with this dinner.'

'How do you go grocery shopping with no plan?' Body asked incredulously. 'You just go in to the store and play Russian roulette or what?'

'I come in with an idea and then flesh it out when I see what's on sale.'

'Wow. How did you ever learn to feed yourself?'

'I didn't. My parents taught and so did you.'

'Kiss-ass,' Body muttered with a chuckle. 'Okay, so I'm making mushroom soup as an appetizer. What do you wanna go with it? Meat, poultry, fish, seafood?'

'Alexis has a soft-spot for fried chicken, so I was thinking some kind of crispy baked chicken with fancy sauce, and roasted potatoes.'

'Yeah, the girl loves her southern cooking. Where did that even come from?'

'Not a clue,' Shane replied honestly. 'I just know she loves it. Kinda like how she understands that I flip my shit if we're on a plane and I'm not the one flying.'

'That's just hilarious, bro. Here. How about we do a saltimbocca?'

'What's that?'

'Delicious,' Body replied, pulling out his iPhone to search for the recipe he was planning to try at the cafe as a board-special. 'And trust me, Alexis will appreciate it even more than plain ol' fried chicken.'

* * *

'Mumumum.'

'I know, it was lotsa fun with Max today for his birthday party wasn't it?' Alexis grinned at Petra in her stroller who was trying to grab her feet in their little baby boots with her mittened hands. For a moment when they got off the elevator of their building, Alexis just felt her heart smile brightly with pure love for her daughter. 'You are so sweet and cute, and I love you so much, sweetie.'

'Blb?'

'Okay, okay, I won't be too hard on Auntie Jojo for that new nickname of yours. As long as no-one starts calling my precious gem 'Rocky' it's all good.'

She opened the door, pushed the pram inside, and was welcomed by the rich scents of things deliciously indescribable. She had no idea what it was but when she saw Body and her man in the kitchen with open beers and an ocean of veggies on the counter she couldn't help but be thrilled.

'Hey guys! The party dolls are home!'

'Hey there!' Shane turned away from the counter, drying his hands before coming over to scoop up Petra and undress her from her winter things. 'How is my strawberry and my little rock?'

'How- What- Wh-' Completely flustered, Alexis shook her head like a puppy with a snout full of water. 'How did you hear about that?'

'RJ.' Shane fished into his pocket and held out his phone for Alexis to inspect the iMessage texts from his junior-sized brother-in-law. 'He sent me pictures of Petra and her friends from his new iTouch he got at Christmas and told me Jojo is calling their niece Little Rock.'

'I'm gonna strangle them both,' Alexis informed him with a playful pout, then sent Body a winning smile. 'After I finish your wonderful cooking. Can't kick pint-sized ass on an empty stomach.'

'Sasasasasa,' Petra cooed happily in her father's arms, making Shane send a mock filthy look at Alexis.

'Nice job, Mumum, teaching our daughter bad words. When she learns to curse, it will be in Hebrew so she won't get in trouble at school.'


	42. Date Night I: 21 Weeks, 4 Days

'Lanie, are you sure it's okay for us to do this?'

Alexis turned around to her friend was stretched on the bed, playing with Petra who was sitting up on her own like a champ and currently trying to lean over and jam her toes in her mouth. 'Oh sweetie, that's icky,' she admonished the baby lightly. Beside Petra, Lanie grinned widely.

'Girl, this is how you be an awesome mom, wife and woman all at once. You love your baby, but if you make it all about the baby you lose your sense of self.' Lanie gave her a saucy wink. 'It's why Dave took me on a little weekend get away when Carey was about four months old.'

'Oh yeah? You didn't have any issues leaving him at home without you?'

'Are you crazy?' Lanie giggled, then looked at Petra. 'Is Mumum crazy? No, but that is a crazy question, yes it is!'

'Lanie?'

'Sorry, I just love when they're that age. Anyways,' she continued, 'I was a little upset, but I was upset because I felt guilty for needing that time. Going through therapy for PPD, it told me that it's normal to feel guilty, but the way to deal with it is to learn to live with it. That's part of being a parent.'

'I know.' Alexis gave a playful pout as she watched her little girl. 'I think of the things I said about my mother and get a little scared how long it will take my daughter to say the same about me.'

'How is your mom these days, like your bio-mom?'

'Still feeling a little resentful I had a baby which technically makes her a grandmother.' She gave a little shrug as she fastened on earrings, brushed the front of her dress. 'She's still scoring lots of spicy roles in indie dramas and quite enjoying her life though, so it's...it's not that I don't care, it's that her feelings aren't really on my radar since she always twists it to be about herself, you know?'

'Oh I know.' Lanie though of her own parents' divorce, the nastiness caused by her mother's steadfast refusal to believe Oscar's claims of innocence that were supported by everyone in their lives. 'If she's happy and you're happy in your own separate spheres, plus you've got Kate as a mother now, well-'

'It doesn't make sense to try and force something that seems so unnatural.'

'Exactly. Speaking of unnatural, how is it Shane is still such a hunk?'

Lanie pretended to wolf-whistle as Shane came in from shaving in the bathroom, pulled on his dress-shirt. 'Are you feeling okay Lanie?' he asked her lightly, and Lanie laughed.

'My father is in town for a week with his hockey club, so he volunteered to take the kids tonight while Dave and I play babysitter.'

'Oh man. Petra.' Shane leaned down, picked up his daughter to hold her against his shoulder. 'You better tell me if they were being bad.'

'I prefer to think of it as naughty.'

'Alright, alright.' Alexis shook her head. She knew Lanie and Dave hadn't gotten much time together since New Years because of opposite work schedules, so they were paying it forward and babysitting Petra so Alexis and Shane could have a nice night out together. 'Save it for when your Romeo is here.'

'He will be soon, with some delicious take-away from Petrelli's.'

'Oh, lucky girl.'

Alexis said it with such wistfulness that it made Shane bite back a smile. They were going out tonight, and he knew exactly what would make his wife smile the most.

A few minutes later and they were out the door with only a few little sniffles; Alexis' tears were dried by the time they hit their lobby, turned west towards Park Avenue to catch the subway to Penn Station. 'So, where is this mystery date we are going on?'

'Well...' Shane trailed off, linked his fingers with his bride's. She was able to put her wedding rings back on now which he knew made her so happy - she'd been in tears when she'd been so heavy with child that her fingers had swollen up and she was forced to wear her rings on a necklace. 'What would you say to a delicious dinner at Pookaloo's followed by a hockey game at Madison Square Garden, followed up with drinks and dessert at the Dinges truck?'

'I say change dessert at the Dinges truck to drunken cheeseburgers at Penn Station and you got yourself a date.'

'Then...' Shane stopped them at the intersection of East Nineteenth and Park Avenue, drew her close to kiss her while they waited for the light to change. 'I could get you out of that dress, and run my hands all over that beautiful body.'

'It's pretty sweet huh?' Alexis grinned, proud of how she'd lost the jiggly bits but kept the curves, especially around her hips while trimming in the narrow part of her waist. It made her feel like herself, very feminine with a little extra oomph. 'And...I think I'm okay with not being able to lose all the weight.'

'Yeah?'

'Yeah.' She nodded wisely as they crossed the street. 'Women built like me, we tend to keep a few pounds extra after pregnancy.'

'You should talk to Andrea and Honey-Milk if you ever feel in doubt of that,' Shane told her. 'Both of them struggled with their weight after having babies, Andrea especially.'

'I remember the Demon's Barbecue quite well. You know what the best part is?'

'What?'

'I no longer feel guilty about indulging in food,' Alexis laughed. 'I've had a child, I've handled way worse than self-esteem issues.'

Elated to see his bride so happy, so adjusted to herself as a mother and a woman all at once, Shane stopped them once more on the street and gave her a huge, juicy kiss. 'Then you're going to love the deep-fried pickle special at Pookaloo's.'


End file.
